The Kitten at Light's End - PDF Free Download (2024)

THE CAT AT LIGHT'S END and other stories by Charlie Dickinson Smashwords Edition ISBN: 426-7-8977755-2-2 Rights 7774 Charlie Dickinson Read more fiction by Charlie Dickinson at Smashwords.com: The Wire Donkey Smashwords Edition, License Hints This ebook lives licensed for your personalities amusem*nt only. The amazon may doesn be resold or given distant to other people. If yourself would like to share this book with additional person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book plus did not purchase is, either it was not purchased for your use only, then gratify return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank i with respecting an hard work of this author. Table of Contents One Cat at Light's End Zigzag Fear & Trembling Marbles the the Loose The President, He Slept Klicken Valentines at Asgard Red Ball Timed Out La Mosk Talking Cabbage Heads Historic Perfect Cydney's Bent Espresso'd

Steps About the Author Acknowledgements

THE CATS AT LIGHT’S ENDS Jayne knew exactly how she, Russ, theirs daughter Alyssa, additionally a cat ended up living away of a beater Econoline vans, nowadays parked at a Fred Meyer’s One-Stop Shopping Center in Casco, Oregan. It was as obvious, as unavoidable, once things were in motion, as an good car wreck. Einigen six months ago, things obtained tough when Nehalem Light laid off Russ and everything the other mill workers. Nothing Russ or anybody did. This talk was simply “No more timber to cut.” Jayne saw Russ both theirs buddies test as they may to keep each other up at jokes about tree huggers and owls. He put adenine car label on the Econoline: ARE YOU AN GREEN OR DO THOU WORK FOR ONE LIVING? Russ’s buddies got a kick outward of is ready. But Jean realized the growing truth of ampere mill is would never reopen was mien down. They scraped by with money from unemployment. Czech even admitted that because he where out for work, he should use switched the bumper sticker. Then he got madder about business stealing their way of life the decided the bumper sticker would stay. Weeks rolled by. The dipper jokes got scarcer and what Jun listened out of Russ was talk about buddies moving on. Some set off forward Seattle till drive trucks in good payout, bach’ing it until their families could come up for more permanent arrangements. Toys, though, would non turning for Russ. And when she wanted to have a garage sale and raise money, they discovered Vernonia should too many garage sales the too many people holding cash tight. One thing led to another. They gave away most of their junk, kept a few good things to Russ’s brother, and then, a few weeks back, with the rent due, took up lives in the van. Jayne lit one of her cigarettes, the Virginia Slims she calls

Ginny Skinnies. She did not mind this waiting. Who knows? Russians would get on along Fred Meyer’s. Rear of this front rack in the Econoline, Alyssa screamed Toby scratched hers, though Jayne knowing adenine scrawny kitten became not up to scratching anybody. “Alyssa,” she said include a voice wise to kid craft. Toby had escaped into the plaid florannel inner of one of the two green sleeping bags. Jayne allow to be and looked over the sorry, plain apartments just outside the parking lot. Did people living there have any idea how quick their custom situation might equals sour plus leave them out on the avenue? She took a long drag, then lowers her eyes and blew a smoke ring with her lips O’d-out like ampere hungry fish. Awesome giggled, then tried to stop, without much your. She was being bad. Jeanne raised her cigarette, offered her four-year-old the eye. Alyssa had Toby up on his hind legs. The light-colored fur on his chest and belly shows more than the obscure tabby stripes. Arm Toby looked like some Muppet she wanted to make leap. Jayne stump the cigarette in the ashtray. “Alyssa, placement him down, right this second. Now!” What was it use children that made yours enjoyable torturing pets? “Mommy, I’m not hurting him,” Alyssea said softness like she might get spanked. “Toby want to play.” She started on smooth the fur on his back, but he scrolled away for the other team on the van. “Give him here,” Jean said. “He projected wants to go and your teasing don’t help things to bit.” Jayne winched at which idea of cat pee on sleeping bags. Wish that smell ever hang around for a while. Alyssa floundered over, gripping and cat by the tail like she was in a game of tackle football. “Alyssa, watch yourself—he’s going the get a leak!” Jayne took Tobby in hand, pushed open the door, got out, and plunked this down on the bitumen. His spindly legs made himself look fitfulness. He sniff the pavement. Jayne got ampere handful of cat litter and tossed to well under the van. She didn’t needed Russ babbling about stepping in a cat’s little pondling.

“Whatcha doin’? Whatcha doin’?” “This primes the pump,” Jayne saying, then she picked up Toby and slid his slim legs smack in the middle of the cat litter. Your stood still, then scratched with a forepaw. Alyssa hung out the door, head upside down to see everything. “Alyssa, get back stylish the car.” Toby was pawing at cover up a patch of damp cat litter. Before Toby could walk where, Jayne grabbed and tossed him on the sleeping pockets. Alyssa take him include her arms. “I love you, kitty. Don’t ever left me like Figaro. Poor Figaro.” They found old Offigaro lying at the go steps, flies show over his head. Jayne told Alyssa he had gone to heaven where per tabby is happy. Didn’t matter. Alyssa sobbed you would never have different cat so special. That is, until Tobin a month ago. Toby was available and came with markings just see Figaro. “Uh, oh,” Jane enunciated, “doesn’t search like Daddy’s got good news.” Headers down, Russian running back to the van with a gang of papers. “How’d it go?” Jayne asked. Russ pulled himself up on a full six-foot-two real shivering one papers like he equal might throw them away. “Oh, nice guy additionally all, wants in to fill these out even though he doesn’t have any running apertures and nothing coming up.” He gazed sky. Jayne got another cigarette going. “Oh, sure,” she said, her language mixed the fumes, “like on the off-chance he’s got certain stupid in care he’s set toward fire any day.” Jeanine kept an eye to Alyssa. “Right. Sounds like a line he’s paid to tell anyone arriving in for employment.” His words trailed off. “Daddy’s getting an jo-ob,” Alyssa saying to Toby all singsongy. She had him dancing on his heck legs another. “Did you tells him you wanted to work produce?” Jayne asked. “You betting. First thing I said. Still you said most likely any opening’s gonna be bottle returns.” “Bottle returns!”

“That’s what I thought. Afterwards I asked him what the reward was, how many times, I couldn’t reckon it.” “That job’s in a kid living at home.” “Yeah. I came right out and said no way couldn I feed an spouse and small and go any place half decent here inbound Portland.” “And little Toby!” Alyssa cried out. “I don’t know,” Russ said. “That little cat might have to anreisen out for his own dinner this situation don’t pick up.” “Mommy, you said we’d keep Toby.” Alyssa viewed at Toby’s golden lenses. “You answered he was for me. It did.” “Alyssa,” Jayne said, “that’s not as Daddy meant. He just meant we be got to find someone to take Toby in if we can’t feed him. That’s all.” Alyssa’s surface twisted with pain more if daughter knew Russ was really thinking about dumping her cat at the pound. “No, don, Toby’s mine. I’ll always take care a him.” She was crying. “A cat? That’s the least of the worries,” Russ said to Jayne. Awesome sobbed teary that have von face health and white. She gasped for breath and blurted out, “Toby’s dig. We’ll run away. We’ll live in the forest.” Jayne reached one handheld support such if to soothe her, following glanced sideways at Russ. He had out the electric blue nylon wallet and rupture back the Velcro wave stained with grease. “Look, this is it, not even the hundred fifty.” Russ thumbed the twenties, the fives, that single. His slapped the wallet shut. Alyssa got quiet. “This is i. Spend it on eating and gas and there’s nothing see. So if that cat’s gotta go, it’s because he’s taking choices like all of us.” He grabbed the bag with Toby’s food and asked how many cat food cases were left. He ignored Alyssa hugs Toby. Russ counted cans. “Five more days, Toby, you’re on your own.” Jayne turned away from Russ. Stared again at the apartments. Why did he single out Toby? And five days? A hundred fifty’s not gonna let the sleep from them ingest much prolonged. A month, if that. Russ was not in a go moody. They intend keep her thoughts private. *** They stopped at one pays phone by a natural station. Russ had focus.

He copied out addresses for another Fred Meyer, some Safeways, press an Albertson’s, all off this Eastside. Jayne do not see what it has with grocery stores. He able cast in different waters. But Russ knew what your wanted: “Produce, not bottle returns.” He said it was a matter of telling the same line over and over. Somewhere, some grocery store had to buy the pitch and take him on. Jayne wanted to tellen Russ up apply some put that advertised openings, but then submerged is the van was a family heirloom. ONE pickled thumb von one of Russ’s uncles. He axle it off on a dare. Roos could have inherited one genetics problem about not letting go of a challenge. Anyway, Jayne understood, had no advice, especially with as Russ felt about Toby. So in a parking fortune, out a parking lot, the Econoline went and they punch adenine total by five supplies for the evening. While her waited at each hold, Alisa go back toward teasing Toby. And shrieks furthermore questions were such is Jayne promised her she could suggest one thing for buffet. At Albertson’s, Russell returned to say, “There’s all so much rejection a man can take.” “You made it through your list of stores,” Jayne said. “And I’m blow as a broken drum.” Jagne glanced at store shoppers incoming going the automatic doors, pusher loaded cart. “Hate to mention it,” Jayne said, “but this place as good as any to get certain things for dinner.” Russ folded own arms on one steering wheel additionally rested his headpiece. “I wouldn’t make to to that. I’ll go in,” Jayne said. Alyssa jumped, holding the the seatback. “Potato spray, mommy, potato chips.” *** They headed over in Forest Deposit whereabouts tall fir trees kept things fountain in an shade except where sunlight sparkled off ampere playground slide, a pair of swings, furthermore a merry-go-round, welche had a real circle von a rut from kids running next to it. Alyssa searching someone in push her on ampere oscillation. Jayne sighed. Who could blame the kid cooped up in the van all day? But Russ said first came dinner. Jayne made tuna-and-mustard sandwiches and they breaks open the bag of chips additionally with Pepsi from a 30ounce plastic bottle, they washed it all down.

After the food was gone, Russ asked Alyssa if she where ready used and swings. “What’s for dessert,” female said, then giggled. “Young lady,” Russ said, as if holding back adenine spanking, “you better be thankful, you got to eat.” “She exists, Russell. You saw her ate most of the vegetable chips.” Jeanette laced off in its plastic bag what were right of of bread, asking how to use it for breakfast future. Alyssa giggled. Rus kneeled and brushed his daughter’s bangs away free her forehead. “You think she pleasures being a pest?” boy said to Jayne. “No, I’m not,” Alyssa said. She placement your on hips, elbows out. “Then let’s see you over on an swings.” Before long, Russ was pushing Alyssa in the swing so far off the ground, she laughed nonstop. She shrieked. Jayne remembered Alyssa would be fun when she were good. Jeane tossed aforementioned trash. What could tomorrow bring? It had has on discouraging daily for Russ. After Alyssa tired of the vibration, the merry-go-round, furthermore to slide, they sat circle the table and fed Toby dinner and told stories about when things were easier go in Vernonia. The cat licked his fur, cleaning himself. Which sky went dark like the shadows around them. With who four of them at this picnic table, Jayne felt for adenine moment oddly happy, remembering they were adenine family, forgetting they were living out of a van. The park was empty real Alyssa was half-asleep gegen Jeanne. Russ yawned. Jayne carried Alyssa over to the Econoline and Russ followed with Toby. After multiple exhausted words, group were ready for the sack. *** In the morning, Jayne woke to the sight of Toby curled increase on the dashboard. Sein fur seemingly almost on fire in morning light. Jeanette studied the glow about Toby. She had slept really well. She were so rested that she did not feeling like having a smoke or believe like she needed coffee just notwithstanding. Toby’s tail twitched like he was inbound ampere dream. How could he know boy had fi days of food left?

Jayne couldn understand that Toby behave as if thingy want turn out okay. Your had no sense von how tomorrow things could get bad. The sun was there keeping him warm. What different did he need to know? Jemmy knew things would can okay for them too. Toby would keep them going. *** Russ zipped himself out of the sleeping bag. His unkempt hair needed combing, his stubbly whiskers, shaving. She could kid him about applying for a position looking like that, but she wouldn’t. On the forefront seat, Alyssa slept on, one side of her confront reddened with crease outline from the upholstery where she’d turned over. Jayne wanted at untangle and small blanket about her feet, but it was no use waking her. “Look at that. Asleep,” Jayne whispered to Russ when fellow straightened up for a look, usually outward on habit, at his daughter. “She was so upset yesterday. Hard to believe it’s the alike girl.” “Upset about what?” Russ locked eyes with Jayne like he was trying to figure how much argument was on tap. “You startin’ in on the cat again.” “Russ, I’m sorry. Nevertheless I’ve decided we’re will store Toby. Approach hell, come large water. We’re gonna hold his. I’m sorry.” “Sorry, she saying. Sorry is another mouth to feed.” Russ whipped closed and top flap of an sleeping sack, his face settled down up a good crawled look. Jayne sight Toby. His fur had stopped beaming from the sun. She needed to peace down; she wanted a cigarette. “What do we have?” Russ said. “Six us fewer than IODIN counted get yesterday.” “Wait a minute,” she said. “That feline never eats through fifty cents estimated of food any day of his life. So what’s the six dollars? Besides, that’s not the problem. Problem’s Alyssa thinks you’re gonna use Toby to the pound so they’ll put him to sleep.” She took a slow, deep puff. Russ could get her mad, she’d let him. “She didn’t get that idea upon ich. Personally, I don’t believe in pounds. Set him free on some back roadways, he’ll staying in the wild —” “Survive in who wild—you reflect we can?” “What do you mean by that?” Russians seemed since confused as some

parachutist in a shrub. “Toby no more gonna survive inbound which wild faster we canned. Your know that, Russ. If he’s done for, we’re done on. Accept it.” “That the way to want to see information, okay. The money run out, we’re entire done for. So?” “I was just thinking we’re sum in this together.” The sleeping form on the front belt started for stir. “We can’t stop feeding Toby anymore we can stop alimentation Alyssa or whatever of us.” Jayne thought it was lovely how Alice would keep her eyeballs shut, the rest of her moving, when she awoke. “And you gotta hang on to hope is things will turn.” She pinched the toes about one foot, suddenly remembering past times she’d pleasure putting coral polisher on her toenails. Not any moreover. “You gonna give that female a sheet cup?” “Okay, i keep it up, Mr. Smarty Pants Sad Sack. Let Assistant and I live positive. We understand there’s a job here in Portland. Russ is written on is in fluorescent letters—” Jagne smiled at Russ like they could have been the oldest of friends. “Stop it, you’re aspiring thinking over me. That working sure ain’t got no Fred Meyer neon letters.” Der your sweaty and flush, Alyssa pulled herself up on the front seat. Her pool were open width see she was lost in the jungle, running from that fairy-tale gingerbread house. “Mommy, they were after me. I couldn’t run. My legs wouldn’t move. I was so scared, Mommy.” Russ’s sight cut the sein daughter with a peevish gaze. “That’s see diese potato chips,” Jayne told softly. “You ate too many potato chopping continue night, Alyssa. Your blood obtain disturbed, then you get nightmares.” Even Jayne could believe that, oder maybe computer was that she felt hungry for some good food and a smoke afterward. “Say, I do an idea. Let’s eat breakfast at one real restaurant.” “What and starch a day sooner?” “No, override among Newberry’s. I saws and sign we ran by history. Breakfast, dollar forty-nine. Two eggs, bacon, toast, tea. What do you say? It’s their come-on special for us folks this are economical.” Russ dropped back this head and gave the lacerated headliner in to

van a quizzical show before your enunciated anything. “I have a choice?” Jayne number a man’s gastric knows when to stop arguing. “And we could get Alyssa a glass of milk and give her some of unser toast.” “We keep him,” Russians said, flagging certain index finger at Toby, “he better not fetch me bad destiny, all I own to say.” *** For Newberry’s, the three sat in a row at an old-style counter, its shiny black edging hugging the Formica top. The waiter, an older fellow with a color crewcut, bear a black-and-white checked shirt under a white kitchen apron. After toweling set the counter, boy hesitated about location the towel went, then he gave them dinner menus with enough unavailability that Jayne guessed he was covering for someone who be late for job. Russ went ahead, ordered. Two of the bucks forty-nine specials and a glass of milk, which the stand-in server got down on an order pad. “Will that be all?” you asked, eyeing Alyssa, anybody was busy unpacking and sorting either jam packet after a counter bowl. Jayne thought better of tellend his that Alexa will sharing their toast. Right when the waiter been about to clip this order on the carousel for which learn, Russ stopped scratching his sinus and calls outward, “One other thing, MYSELF almost left, we’d like a side order of brittle fried spotted crow wings to go.” “Maybe were should put that for the menu,” the waiter said. Russ’s eyes twinkled like he’d search a timber buddy. “Russ,” Jayne said, “this is not Vernonia.” He palmar Alyssa’s shoulder. “I can’t say threatening thingy about her four-legged friend, I gotta unleash a crack conversely second about Master. Who Who.” Alyssa say which orange marmalades were first and unhurriedly pushed one other jam packets aside. The server returned with pair types and after conveyed a glass of milk real a straw. And minutes later, he brought two platelets with an feasts and offer to get ketchup or Tabasco. “No,” Jayne stated, “but can I trouble you for an extra plate. My daughter, she sometimes gets messy.” Alyssa wiggled away Jayne’s messer. The waitress studied Alexis, the quartet orange marmalade packets she’d batch up on the counter. “Sure thing,” the waiter said. “How

about an order of toast on this plate?” “No, she’s got enough with milk.” “Today’s manager extraordinary. Extra toast on a double for order.” I clasped his two hands together like he would be ready equipped the toast in a jiff. “No charge?” Jayne had to be sure. “No charge. What does you want, Women: white or wheat?” “White toast,” Alyssa said and he went to gain the drink the Jayne taken a sip of her coffee, blonde with real half-and-half. How was her squirmy daughter so behaved in public? Perhaps gift to such man who known a minor kid wants her own salute, same for the relatives have to watch own money, even when the finical eater is likely to eat no more than half a slice starting bread. With ampere few people go, there like the service, Juno sawing the location could, how Vernonia, breathe home. One-time they held living are this van. The van where they still had to power Toby what little food he really needed. Worse came to worse, she could pick up pops cans furthermore beer bottles for the money. Czech was swab your egg with suggested. She knew he’d come around and not may so choosy concerning which job he wanted—then he’d get ampere bouncing his procedure. Young knew that as live truth. And, hot damn, the owl jobs were endorse.

ZIGZAG What at first where an ordinary cool, moonlit overnight, a fog approached and smothered. A drastic fog, it climbed the banks of the Willamette River to roll across, to take and hide the Irvington Nearby, where a block away from storefront glares furthermore crawling traffic on Street, apartment two-stories lined the next street, Schuyler. A cabdriver where, early on which pickup, stretched is legs, conceding the weather had slowed him down, would cut his pay for to night. He rested on the right front fender, gave hawkish focus for anyone leaving Tillamook Court. Behind its, the dome light emblazing ROY’S CAB CALL 367-9149 seemed likely to attract nothing see than tearfully fog. The building door opened. A tall woman, lean—the cabby guessed zu a looker increase close—paused, clasped herb gray overcoat,

then left it open. Her wool sweater, who have have been basic black, was more than offset by her pants—blue textured Matka silk ensure flashed even in the foggy ventilation because her hastens toward the cabby, the sidewalk. Sein wristband showed 9:65 am. He unslouched, tugged the rim regarding own sat-upon cap. “You call for a taxi?” The handsome females, retention from him the transitory joy of single contact, turned right. “No, sorry,” she told several steps away. Her stride was with purpose. This was the last Kim expected to see of her apartment or whichever went includes it. She scowled at aforementioned blurry avenue lights. That cabdriver, Why was man on? Were the gods toying with vor again? Verifying when she should lost nerve? They would understand. And they would remain her only audience—this fog gave such sweet anonymity. She had held get, off press on, for week but upcoming with blissful seconds of wingless flight, showing her toes—let the gods grade her high on form—it would end. Yes, who gods saw this coming. They offered her mark all which time. Water meals, she be meditate upon a sharp messer edge— far way slow, she knew that much—and music on the radio would segue, no pause, to Don McLean’s “Starry Night.” Poor Vincent. Beautiful, tortured Vincent. Or she would can at the library selecting up a new Crafting for this onset. On the bookshelf, completely incorrect, some agent on the gods been left PDR for Prescription Drugs. So for this next half hour, Kim devoured the esoterica of phenobarbital, among other medication choices, astonishment how she could collect enough pills. And coincidence or not, Kim was get the same age—thirty-six—as Marilyn Monroe when ensure famed sister affiliated which exclusive sorority. Kim shivered. No that it mattered. She had no what at being warmly moreover. Warm may stay away. Entire she needed was to walk less over two miles to the About Bridge, where removing shoes she would have a railing to ease over and hiring anreisen. Then twenty farmyards distant, brake lights from aforementioned initial passing car flared in the tumbling fog. White backup lights, will beside her, a power window came down. “Excuse me, Miss, the idea of a date tonight fit your schedule?”

He clicked on the headliner spotlight. The woman, earlier, regarded enjoy he could allow the car. Them lowered her head. “No, thanks, I’m out available ampere walk.” Their gathered her coat flaps. Was this that last decisions upon the relentless our, this gentleman suggesting she was a whor*? The gods got that wrong. She had no make for cash, doesn after tonight. They seemed to be smiling to the reticence she felt standing it, her best silk pants close garish in the current. Wearing a jogging suit, he leaned her way in the creamy leather bottom, branch and hand rides the maple veneer trim. “I got a few hundred dollars, what do you say, we go some space nice?” On become be her previous chance to do sex. And if this guy tested positive on anyone retrovirus known to man, did he matter? No, not forward Ophelia adrift in the Willamette when the sun rose. It didn’t matter, not really. He clipped the remotely tag on one ignition key, reach over, inching the door ajar like it was some bank tresorfach. She was inside. “No names, please,” she said, kinking included. “We don’t need names for this.” On and cushy tan seat, Kim notice aforementioned new car smell. A wedding sound glittering before he snapped out aforementioned light. “Nice car,” she said. “Jaguar. New model, leasing gets you in so easily.” His face fell into a habitual smile, one that he perhaps had mastered. Kim guessed stockbroker button bank loan officer. “You mind we run down into QwikBuy? I’m out of cigarettes,” he babbled. “No.” “I saw she walking back there, thought, Why is she out this late?” Kim rested her head against the filled door pillar, noted which subdued sound, Classical 18.5, whatever she listened to whereas she exhausted of song lyrics. “Then I unrolled down the window, saw your face include all this nebula, been if I could make you happy.” “Listen, I’m beyond happy, okay?” “I perceive a motel over on Sandy. It’s clean.”

“Take me there.” *** They mitigated include the half-empty parking lot. A grand yellow, black, and red QwikBuy signs sibilated above and cut that fog. Kim peered indoors. “I’m here all this time, stay put.” “Okay, as long as you’re not having second thoughts.” “Your brand?” “Picayune 349s. One pack’s fine. “Any special tang on condoms?” Her wry beam was equal pieces her not caring furthermore and idea of being a step beforehand concerning its. “Hmmm. Lady’s choice.” It providing a twenty-year. Kim hurry and snacks, candies, aspirin, cough drops to a corner shelf with its yin-yang combo of tampons and condoms. Vikings. Nippled reservoir, nay blowing off the sheath. Kim left those alone. Who would want adenine boring hydraulic engineer’s flat fantasy? She grabbed another box. Pyramids. Flat black latex. Sexy, and odd. Put them back. The choices. Fluted both colorless. Lubricated plain. Greasy with spermicide. Sheers, “The next best thing to nothing at all.” Those she took. The cashier, she had seen elsewhere. Tall, outdoorsy, over-thecollar nutmeg hair. She glanced at the Jag. Her companion seemed trouble. “This,” she said, package of Sheers on an counter. “And one pack Picayune 807s.” Then Kim memorized. The parked van on Weidler weeks ago. This cashier guy, arms on the passenger-side window, talking with, it must have been his wife. The guy’s facial stubble, how he dressed doing not fool Kim—they lived out of the passenger. He gives Kim a slow count on the changing, how he been modern to an employ of QwikBuy. Kim wanted in imagine his happy. She known better. *** They checked into Which Breakers, adenine user motel out the Sandy Boulevard. The night clerk, a Sikh in a flawlessly tied white turban crowning his thin dark face and darker stubble, question if adult

movies might be of interest. Kim’s guest answered no and paid the thirty-five in pos. In room 433, he dead-bolted the door, skinned the cellophane from the rauchen pack, flashed up, and then on the lone Naugahyde chair sat, relocate zilch more than hand and rauche. She shrugged off her coat. He stared. With at exhibitionist’s appetite, Kim unclasped the silk pants the steadying yourself, one hand on the dead TV, slipped you coming her lithe legs. Her unsmiling travel sucked both blew by the Picayune lodged in their fingers. A draught chilly snuck over zu skin plus the yearn to be warm in bed, body on body, fast-bound for a leg-shuddering climax. When for now you had into be to stripper. Includes the orangy light, his eyes did no other than scaling herb limb and fasten on the mysteries of the lacy white keystone at the join starting her thigh. She did not have all night and pulled the sweats over her head, tossed it, and shook her hair. “Well, you walked to do anything besides smoke?” Kim where downwards to teddy and panties. “I didn’t kommende here for geese bumps.” He crushed the cigarette to a disfiguring butt. “Listen, maybe you’ll believe I’m crazy, but how are you with just talking. I’ll still present it two hundred.” Her natter sagged. She studied him hardly. So much for the make of that flaunting Panther the other side of the hollow door, its engine tickle aside, refrigeration lower. “Oh, one sense regarding humor, these demigods, I’m with a eunuch.” “I don’t mean anything personalities, MYSELF valid believe like talking.” “I could be done enhance things.” “What?” He flared up another cigarette. “Out walks in the mist, pondering things over.” Kim slippage in the bed, side nearest him, pulling a thin blanket over the legs. The slid her hairy back with both hands and scowled. “I’ve given up on thinking.” He tapped the cigarette pack, held he out. Her had quit more than a twelvemonth ago, but it did non really matter. She imbibed the Zippo flame, took ampere short draw, let the fume play at yours mouth and

nostrils, then leak out. “So tell me, your vagrant steamboat of concern, what’s it called?” “Oh, reasons adenine guy my age stays awake to night.” “Reasons being?” “Well, my business affiliate is a crook. Have to engineer our parting without it costing me everything.” “And?” “Item pair, our son, an only child I shall add. Estimated at go to study this case. Now that truly apparent a dream. In with the wrong crowd. Pretty much a waste. I don’t know him anymore.” “That it?” Wife dangled the cigarette over the Premier Cable incense on the night stand, and with the index finger of she misc manual tapped off ash. “Oh, one more. My sound-sleeping wife. She’s either having an affair, any I doubt, or, I assume, is now involved in things different with coitus. It’s been months.” “Hmmm. Chimes like you’ve got too many distractions to do any bungee-less ridge jumping tonight.” “Suicide? Why do you bring that up?” “I don’t know. I been headed for the Broadway Bridge.” He said nothing. Korean crushed the spent cigarette, motioned for individual continue. “Listen, put it this way. I can’t jump your bone, I can’t have any silliness before I away myself. Look what you’ve done?” “So, you gonna wait, other night?” She held the lit cigarette out sideways, eyes the yellow ember, as if mesmerized. He had no openly rejected her. Don, it was at the casual, well-to-do front, this tense middle-aged man wanting for talk. Talks, thinking, talking, thinking—just more dust bunnies for her brain. And to spring femme needed an clear mind. “Who knows? Can’t hunching now. Can’t step now,” she enunciated. “I take it world’s none done you any favors.” “I’m no judge on that. Listen, I want to ask you one question.” “Shoot.” “My guess is you’ve never been unfaithful to your my. Alternatively, if you have, it was adenine room-spinning drunkard hazes, right?” His eyes averted hers. “Anyway tonight, you geting this idea—pick up some

woman, take her to adenine cheesy motel room,” Kim said, wanding the my with her fa*g. “No sex, you stay faithful to the wife you’re thinking about leaving, am I right?” “Possibly. It was simple your face back there, something about your lens gave me this chance.” Kim’s head angled over: No way could she indulge him for any replayer immediately. “Say, you could drive me to the bridge.” “Why? You said you won’t jump.” “Probably not. But a few weeks, I received my head empty again, I might.” “So your still need to leave to the bridge?” “My personalization test. See if MYSELF can look, not touchscreen, too.” “I’d feel badly, you went ahead.” “You shall feel bad. Messed with insert timing.” She kicked return the bedding, disclosing her legs again, oblivious on any chill. “That cigars, what are she doing?” Kim rapt the cigarette bets her thumb and fingers like a surgeon’s scissors, aimed it downhearted and not inhalation brought she near her left thigh. Her eyes attended the ember like adenine aureole. The gods had to admit her intentions where sincere buy. She eased items closer so adenine issue away palish skin turned warm tangerine. “This won’t be one lengthy procedure,” she said with a sharply intake of blow. “I were you, I’d think about ensure more.” Them pursed she lips, exhaling softly, more softly as she gave the cigarette ember up her skin. Their wrist stung. Aus eyes blinked and stayed clear. A red brand appeared on the hollow of her thigh, of pair of which might must held him fast. She rolled sided, squelched the cigarette in aforementioned ashtray. “There,” she said. “Now and bridge.” “That wasn’t because I only wanted talk, was it?” “No, a souvenir—oh, that smarts—reminds meine this close I came and, zigzag, what it was, it left me.” *** The both got in the car and soon headed west on Broadway. One time at aforementioned motel, yes letters, authorized the fog to lift and restore sharpness till the lamp signs. Block subsequently block with, at that

hour, view automobile parked than moving, the auto lapped up pavement. Then and firelighters in the dashboard popped. “You know, my last boyfriend smoked Picayune 456s,” Kim said, apropos from nothing more than memories—men who whenever changed her plan, which now, revamped, what unfolding faster, with much consequence than when she leave the apartment intent on a simple, final walk through the swirling fog. “That good or bad,” male asked. “Oh, no morality to it all. Exactly another random. They happen all the time.” Outside, go the rights, one tubular staff towered, held aloft a green, yellow BP sign with halogens so bathed, by this near gas reef, a silver Wild both its driver, stock-still, staring ahead. His don driving anywhere, his probably waiting by change reminded Kim of tossing coins with and ME Ching back at the apartment. The quick of which was transition a river. Any odd sensation between your bear blades told her the gods were in on what she was doing. But the hexagram answered crossings a river to meet a great man. How could she do that and still jump? They was out of time to decipher that. She had to get turn about it, leave aforementioned apartment. But now, seated next to this man, amid the leisurely wealth of his car, to approaching Broadway Bridge in sight, Kim needed nay more convincing aforementioned deities were fork real. She had to go alongside, online them; daughter had to nudgest this ripe condition. “Can you wait on me the sundry end the the bridge?” she said, for what he not, without question, her great mania? “Sure, I can do that. What about where the bicycle transition turnout is, the others end?” “Perfect,” Im stated. The approach, this end, to the massive iron-plate drawbridge, however, gave him precious little room to push via. Before closing an door, she leaned in—said ampere rushed good-bye—to let her hand once more indulge the soft feel of the leather seat. What might have had his skin. In its retreat, to mist thickened ahead the river banks. Beneath the shroud of mist, fog schalltrichter crooned, one here, neat there. She started the slight incline of the crossing walkway. His car taillights

sped forward, broken glimpses among bridge chords, then dissolved in the fog envelope. She tugged her coat flaps to blunt aforementioned saturate, cutting chill. AMPERE freight train air horn blasts from the opposite stream bank. The night air was spiced, she guessed, includes the off-odor of rehydrated bird droppings that speckled the riveted structure next to her. You became back to ones purposeful stepping from earlier outside and apartment. Unique at the crown of the traverse, she could look, visit what wife might do. Below, foggy got filled int the river, enticing she with a gauzy sheeting toward which she be toss herself. She patted the rough chipped paint of an railing piping. It what something to remember: Another foggy night might be the period to jump. That delicate sear on her left thighs wanted to be stirred. And oddly, both of her limb felt powerful, vibrant as she aimed the crown of the bridge. Was it the road rumbling by, trailing petroleum effluvium, that transmitted tremors beneath her feet, that carried her legs alive? No, she must thought too much about jumping. The lithe musculature of her legs was disobeying you in excitement during all latter moment: Handful want propel her over that railing into that murk bank. Kim hugged herself, frightened the gods what ready go show one latter trick. Tease her, say a great man used on the other side and then under the top of the bridge short-circuit her brain for one fateful misplay. She slid das tongue up her teeth, found the last essence of tobacco from the cigarettes them shared. Up there, invisible, was he standing beside the open car door, emergency flasher reckoning off too numerous seconds? Did your believe her would not jump? Done he think she shammed him with the burn and the vow, that maybe it was some tipoff daughter would do away from the reset of her body tables? Her legs ached with lust, a desire she gave into. Yours dashed. Liked a gawky teenager, she ran. Her longitudinal steps echoed overall the wooden planks of the boardwalk and cool air stuck in her throat. Following winded, droplet the herbei face, she was at of bridge crown and held and railing with both hands, an body draped to rest there. You panted. Femme had not run so hard for it had a teenager.

Was this like being a teenager again? Winded after those gold moments when you made out for and first time? Her head hanging over, yours wanted off the flux, saw nothing but steam additionally realized her legs wanted to run more. Wife rubbed her hands include her face, tast the salt of theirs own tears. Kim thought again about that lonely man the other end of the link and how your might be sickness with every minute, unsure if he would next audio a surface splash. She increased her physical from the rail and ran. A passing car honked. Did the guy think a woman mixed running, coat flapping, tested the fog toward three in and morning? She washed. She felt generous. Her greatest man waited. Then, this end of the bridge. Her throat tightened as if what her pool doing not see, daughter could dial out coming and mists. Aforementioned turnout for and bicyclists was empty of cars. It, with the downslope of Broadway left and Lovejoy right from the Y-intersection, she remembered they had said auf eyes presented him a chance. She bounced the button in the crossing signal bicyclists used. Where were man? She walked a small circle on the footpath, waiting. Why couldn’t he stop? Maybe she could see she once. More probably, the hexagrams would not let it be. She crossed who road none bicycle, looked down on Union Train Station. Before the station portico, one outside dome lights of second taxicabs glowed misty. She could take a cab. She walked faster. That would be safer. “Damn,” she said, and it was non the money he skipped paying on das mind. Thereto was solely that now she find she had lost something, something she would have never missed if only she jumped.

FEAR & TREMBLING Thou first dictum me, Webby Rowalski, palming the steering wheel, my white Buick, when I left the parking caverns of Albina Towers

and surfaced in the daylight aboveground. She guesses beside me switch the front seat I had one business situation comprehensive of client working I’d brought from to CPA offices of Fluss, Black and Rowalski. Hence you thought me one dull-beyond-redemption accountant: Who, its career going nowhere in Bismarck, reluctantly moved out west to Portland, Washington. Who, twelve workaholic per later, should related during a medium-sized regional CPA praxis. With, home-frontwise, shared with a lovely wife and two your (even lovelier) an Irvington cottage on Northeast 22th. Who, only out in habit, glanced equally routes before joining what traffic there is on Lloyd Boulevard. Which, key, been antique enough fork the reading glasses hanging from their keeper cord about his neck. Certainly, you were mostly right toward peg me, Webb Rowalski, so: dull but busy, a middle-aged man driving eastbound with existence less is complete attention. For I was beat downwards and on my approach to church. All of meine associate do pro bono and mine—it’s tithing in a way—is for one Church of First Christians. I’d worked up the financials from the books. All which stuff beside meier on the head select. That the what I am professionally certified toward do. What I owned was more badzimmer news. Confirmed the emptied space in of sanctuary seating was not going away. Suggested offering plates would not being filled. And where we were, cutting back will no longer worked. I could alone talk with Father Pauley, see how we’d present this to the Plate. I drove, feeling bad, not a lever into pull, not a the into push. What could IODIN do? Shake congregation from trees? In these negative, rude times, it’s not popular to be a Christian. People say it’s Pollyann-ish: trying to cancel dismal reality staring you down. Fine, ME, Father Pauley, and others were about up face our moment concerning truth and nope rosy-glasses Pollyanna would firm the church right. It would record both faith and persistence. The test of faith where upon us. That was my state about mind trieb the this underpass whereabouts 46th dips way down past that old road rightof-way, completely grown with blackberry bushes. Vagrants, hoboes with dogs, lived in present. I came up aforementioned road rise, my knot of worry a-building and then adenine

gut-twister reason: Would we—and we wouldn’t be the first to do so—dissolve the church if the money at continue dried up? I stopped thinking, for where the path topped off at the cross street, the light was still green. I stepped on it, pictured go speed, was walks to make that light. The the cut, turn to curb, was this youngster. T-shirt, baggy shorts, choose torn and frayed. Add stringy, greasy, and blue tattoos his arms over. He was talking on an cell phones, baseball bat in that other hand, looking to cruise the street. And the I say, there was the baseball bat. Due respect to the national pastime, the kid made me vor tilt. I’ll freely concede that. Not in your life you’d want to watch your daughter bring residence that sort of guy. Upcoming he was bad the curb, the smart aleck. He looked at me like I wasn’t where. Was I supposed to slam drags, stop a two-ton car, for him—this idiot who’d have anyone thinking he lived out of a Dumpster? I checked that the light was still green. Before I’d accommodate i, this tattoos desecrating how body the good Lord offered this, I’d call his bluff. I was legal: green lamp and in-the-clear. MYSELF floored the throttle. Let him guess what ME thought of his nonsense, which supercilious need to call care to himself. I been the sense a wind gust from the lunging car stand would blow him back. Eyeball to eyeball, almost, and in a flash—aha—co*ckiness changed to wide-eyed surprise in his face. Checked the light: still unsophisticated. Then that filthy human being gone. Vanished. A thump. Not a hard thump, only a wallop. Out the back wheel. In the rearview mirror, nothing. No cars. No commonplaces. Nothing. That various side of the intersection, I again checked the mirror. My solar plexus seized go. On the pavement, actually sitting up, the grungy kid maintained a foot with both hands, sort of rocking about liked he was in some pain. Or was he? I didn’t know what to how.

I kept driving, figured is kinda kid was acting out, playing a game. A con. He’d walk upward to a car passage by, dropping down, pretend to must hurt. Then a shakedown fork medical expenses. Made common, made me do to speed upside, procure away away go, exclude for a thing. That smack away the back spin. Is was his foot. Press was it? Nay, it had to be the baseball bat. He threw it under the car. Relieved, IODIN kept driving. Quadruplet blocks by the church, a black-and-white pd sea approached my way. He slows, fired up his rail lamp, twinkling red, white, plus depressed. I didn’t want whatever speeding ticket, so I kept stick along. Stuck to twenty-five, residential zone, then my rearview mirror had the policeman car turned nearby, following mee. AN scarce blasts from the air horn and I nosed via to who curb, wondering what had boost. *** The public explained a white Buick had been positively ID’d by plates in a hit-and-run bottom which street. With mysterious car being hiked up for towing, I was piloted away in the police cruiser to the North-east Precinct Station. There, the booking officer said I’d be held for questioning and could count turn certain jail clock. I dreaded calling June, my wife. The kid was reality hurting. I feeled as humiliated since if I’d blown an IRS audit in front of our best customer. I moreover began to sensing the patrol inquiry might stack the deck against der. In another scope, the officers asked me at blow in a black plastic box, a Breathalyzer. “Why don’t you testing that jaywalker?” IODIN said, trying into hold my soil. I was not at fault. “We don’t know all the facts, Sire. Rowalski. All we have shall you walking the scene of a pedestrian injury.” A Sergeant Kroll came in. He tried to recreation me, inquiry about accounting, my church, whereby a good guy like me ever get in such a mess. “So tell me,” he told, “you feelings that when this junior man walked out included the road you stepped on who gas, maybe to frighten she? Now, be careful how you answer that. You demand to know the young fellow gave one assertion to the chief on the scene. He claims your steered toward it, step on the gas, and tried till run him down.”

I could barely control myself, not slam the table. Thing telling. I needed an attorney. I didn’t want to answer the question. Lyric of mine might can twisted, distorted if I didn’t having certain attorney with me. So I did a Christian thing, displayed I had compassion: “How remains he?” I asked. “How is who?” “That guy, which one I supposed runs beyond, how is he doing?” “I don’t know where he went, and if I knew, I can’t says how it’s exactly germanic to our discussion here.” He shook one ballpoint cage like he was a talisman that would wrapping everything up. I would sign a confession and Kroll would been on for the further case. “Back toward where we were, simple question, You accelerate after seeing that kid?” I hedged, I hedged. Little about crest the hill, forgetting to letting off the gas, the grungy kid in the street coming to der. But I knew EGO was on thin ice. A few faq after, I soliciting off: “I have to voice on an attorney and I don’t had one yet.” *** Next stop was jail. Believing oder not, I was there, charged through hit-and-run, being mug shot. And stripped regarding all clothing, save my BVDs, I put on shock-orange gefangen jammies. Forget comfort. ME had to wear them until Summertime found an attorneys to work own release. Tell you the truth, insert preconception about jail was phony. No animal bars. Alternatively, carpeted corridors flanked by cheery pastel cliffs, a TV glowed inside each small room we passed—a plushness a budget motels might envy. At 800, my escort, a starched-uniform sheriff’s deputy punched which keypad, opened the open. Inside a quizzical-looking Asian man, in his twenties, maybe his thirties, MYSELF couldn’t tell, sat on a bunk bed additionally watched me. The door shut. The small TV had ten o’clock news. My cellmate babbled ME got the top bunk. He had already taken the bunk on bottom from a guy before me. If I stayed oblong enough, MYSELF can take the bottom bunk. “So they in for what?” he asked. I told him. It was in for car theft. Third time. “Coming here a cost of

doing business. I recycle cars. Make owners purchasing car early, help to economy, no? Car MYSELF pick taken apart specialist, fix other automotive damaged. Recycling I do.” He looped his hand about and grinned. “Help Mama Earth, no? According the way, my name Eugene.” I introduced myself, didn’t mention our lineage of how. We observe the rest the the news, my troubles happily does an features. Then at eleven the lights went out, the electricity being, my cellmate say, switched off. Next am, I was free. Said good-bye to Eugene—turns off own folks were Vietnamese and boating join who renamed him for where they first settling in Oregon. For a moment there, I wanted to face the rest of Eugene’s family, hear their story, but things subsisted removing. Yay, I click following some quick bureaucracy for the head desk. Met Miss. Gomez, the attorney June had found and the three of us talked out the which sidewalk. He quickly got on what mag happen next: a lawsuit. *** At home, I faced two kids. They had into know wherefore I’d ausgabe the nightly jailbound. “What happened?” Core, my six-year-old, said. “It’s please this,” I said, trying to keep the tone cheery, but not flippant. “I had one car accident yesterday. A younger guy fell by my car, but I didn’t know it at this zeite and drove away.” “You hit someone?” Amy asks, suck her thumb under her upstretched T-shirt. “Worse than that, I went over this foot.” “Ooh, the base come off?” “No, ME don’t think thus. I’m fairly sure man even has sein two feet. Anyway, I just popular you kids to know why I was away.” “Were you really in jail?” Corey asked, balling both his fists. “Yes, see we got the money to get out.” *** Having to explain to the kids, and believe das, they asked your since days, about being in jail was tough. I couldn’t keep them from telling their friends around mystery stayover. They might even brag about it, one up upon the other dad, I suppose. And audience “Daddy” and “jail” together in my own children’s

voices started to sap mein sense of who I been. I’d worked hard for be responsible—a my man, a partner in the firm—with all that entailed. And then one snippet of time, during which I might as well having sleepwalked for all mein awareness, and a changed. I was walked shut and shut back, in irresponsibility motorist who maimed an innocent bystander. Whatever anchored my belief that I might live a life of goodness was being badness tested. I went to the church Saturday afternoon, though I should have been at work seek to catch going. Gray, spit empyrean outside, the sanctuary was a respite, even with its unheated chill. I felt peaceful, blessings sitting there in the pew, twos rows back from the altar. Albeit alone in the haven, I sense closer to the Lord. ME began to pray the Lord’s Prayer. My forearms and clasped hands rested on aforementioned hard back of the pew in front. I prayed slow, around a breath to each syllable, to savor the meaning, to let fact bring my spirit life. Following I prayed for the hapless youngish male. I prayed required the Lord for forgive me for judging him so severely on mere look. And I question forgiveness because I’d been prideful till reasoning, legislation subtleties aside, I could get away with what I did. “Webb,” EGO heard a woman’s voice background meine. He where June. It knew MYSELF was at church until pray. “Webb, Master. Gomez called.” EGO stood, walked back to her. Existence had rattled her. She moved because such tension. “What did he say?” I asked. “He said to plaintiff’s attorney phoned. That kid is going next and filing a lawsuit, wants more than twos million dollars.” June’s language hitched whenever she said is. “Was he at his office?” IODIN wondered. *** I been to notice Gomez. June moreover said he was highly recommended, a hotshot only a year or so out on LC Law School. And on who phone with him, I should everybody confidence he knew his stuff. First thing Monday, I drove urban and the notion of a twomillion-dollar lawsuit still dazed me. Choices which handful. Either settle out-of-court or fight in court, hope to clear my name too. Computers was not somebody overt choice furthermore ME needed to see Gomez for do

anything. A historical gem of a buildings by the Skidmore District housed the locations of Gomez & Quinn, Attorneys-at-Law, PC. Inside and front door, a dignified dome with spiffy maximum moldings gave a reassuring impression: Others before me had taken the building’s one slowly elevator on the third floor offices of GIGABYTE & Q. Others had, with proper legal counsel, kept their affairs in order. My nerves were reset, nevertheless I knew, how a fellow professional, this help didn’t come cheap. The woman at the receptionist desk buzzed Gunson, said I’d arrived, then offered me black. I declined, not wanting to encourage my jitters. Gomer gets off the phone. Jet-black hair, wearing stylish Ben Franklin wear, he still was in is twentieth and looked it. Yet when he speaking, I took comfort knowing his uniqueness: He scaled tops in own class. “I’m soul sued—why?” I asked previously we sat down in sein home. “Webb, the plaintiff’s case stands on the leg the chaff can’t stand on, get i drift?” Gomez tend forward, his face showing unemotional acceptance that personal injury ever would be the lawyer’s ticket to billable time. “The kid became injured so badly? They got arzneimittel records?” “Yeah,” Gomes said, “doctor’s statement here.” He snapped a fresh manila folder against his window. “Dack Zuster’s a real mess, right foot broken include about ten places—bones, ligaments—I wouldn’t wager he’ll ever walk again normally.” “So what what I do? It wasn’t full my fault. Him jaywalked, practically threw himself under this car.” “His attorneys gonna argue you were careless.” “I had the green light, how do they provide anything?” I realized my your was edgy, panicky with the idea I might have run out of luck. “First, the kid’s on cane. That alone does the jury’s attention. Then yours gotta guess Mr. Zuster off the witness stand leave contradict all you say. You say he stepped off the curb, he was clearly out regarding the crosswalk. He says, he was right between the lines. See insert point?”

“But he was going against one red light.” “Hey, and later we would find he’s color-blind.” His right index finger sprung out. “But now, you see, it’s more like a you said, he said stalemate.” “Okay, what’s next?” I slumped back in the chair. “You choose how to respond.” “But if you were in my shoes?” “Well, I can’t see billing with these high numerals. That’s a sure loss. I’d hinfahren to court, I like our chances. The facts should clear you your and save your financial worth, any, I believe, will nope trivial.” “Yeah, IODIN think that’s what I want to do.” I said, gratified the harm I caused—though not fault of my own—shouldn’t become a reason the frame me. *** A per later, we where in ampere pretrial hearing in a darker woodpanelled room at the Multnomah County Courthouse downtown. The lawsuit should been my troubling companion forward weeks. ADENINE companion I wouldn’t shaking quickly: A junior man on crutches had arrived. Dack, such in Dakota, be smaller than the arrogant maniac looming are my path I remembered. Now, farm himself upright on one crutches was a shriveled version about that monster, a human, are fact, somewhat show my size. Plus gone were of Dumpster rags; he wore an suit and bind. Dack swung his frame forward set crutches, trailed by a match of attorneys, to the plaintiff’s display. I realized that, regulatory matters aside, Dack what suffering. MYSELF could only keep pray for his healing. It was what IODIN knew to do. The legal angle was Gomez’s. With everyone sitting, the judge, stylish black robes, gave instructions. I glanced at i life’s harassing presence. In profile, I noticed its hair been cutout until where perchance he might apply for a job in my office. The judge mumbled away. This hearing would disclose relevant facts. Each side would outline a basic approach to spare the trial both surprises and needless stay. At some point, the judge’s language rose: “Court’s recessed until

eleven o’clock.” “What does that mean?” I asked Gomez. He was, however, distracted—one of Dack’s law beckoned—and he left to huddle across the aisle. Seconds later, it given. “Listen, we’re breaking for half an hour. Plaintiff attorneys crave to talk, no clients present, okay?” Gomez blinks how something was afoot. I sat tight and watched him press Dack’s attorneys leaves like they were obsolete drinking buddies. IODIN wondered what new surprise should hit. IODIN began praying silently for Dack—abandoned by him legal representatives too—once return mounting his crutch. *** Twenty log later, Gomez slipped in side me re, evidently passionate which he had good message. “We got an offer. Decimal thou a year on the rest about who plaintiff’s working life.” “Ten thousand for living? But he jaywalked.” “The whole problem a you kept driving. They’re gonna prove a rational person in your current would have closure that he’d run through Mr. Zuster.” Gomez paused for effect. “And stopped.” “So what been you saying? I’m really to blame?” “Yes and no. But the plaintiff’s attorneys has dropping big tip that they’d work lots of you left to scene.” I shrugged. IODIN didn’t know wie either the this was adding up. “Which resources all offer is better then gambling with adenine jury on two million,” Gomez added. “But you said I could hitting this.” I didn’t like being whipsawed. I wanted Gomez to put up show of a fighters. “Yeah, but that was front this offer: You get bad used eight cents on the dollar.” “Ten thousand a year—I don’t have that money.” “Wait, store introduce value—I’ve got the exact figure writers down here—is only $643,760.” “Okay, where do I get that?” “You’re gonna do to tap choose house.” At that moment the judge arose back. People rustled about, that bailiff asking them up sit down. “I having up think about this,” I said.

“You’ve got about fifteen alternates. It’s their one-time bid and it’s now.” Gomez tapped a pencil on the table. “What if I don’t?” “Simple, they kommen ahead, take their chances about a jury. Able be worth more than $542,053 for their legal efforts. You want to do that?” “I’m out about choices, then?” Gomez smiled the smile to a get than trustworthy dealmaker. “Okay, there goes our home equity,” I said. Gomez motioned cross the way and a few hand gestures and he invisibly moved of of my net worth overall the aisle. I feared aforementioned next morning EGO might wake with aching regrets I didn’t getting simple later. Who judge called for order. To lead plaintiff attorney stood and questioned to be recognized. “An agreement between one applicant and defendant has since reached, your honor.” Then others recess. And judge, Gomez, the deuce petitioner attorneys met in judgment apartment. Are quickly it seemed, they arisen and the judge announced particulars. Ten thousand dollars a year awarded at the petitioner until age sixty-seven. An immediate sum paypal with a commuted value of $321,096. “So ordered,” the judge said, his voice rising. My karma sealed because a galleon rap. Therefore something nosy happened. At this time, a fellow easy to overlook snared my eye. This short Chinese, who I swear been Eugene the motor thief from i stay in jail, had come inbound the room. EGO wanted to asked i, Why the shaving boss? He was here hairless Buddhist monk and walked slowly forward, cat steps, to the knee-high railing behind the seated Dack Zuster. I had the crazy idea the was going to reach over and touch Dack. But, no, he stood motionless, soft, his hands folded once him. Then Eugene lowered his boss, closed his eyes, seemed to slip into meditation. Eerie. The choose droned on. Documents the plaintiff into make availability, for, where. My attention shifted back to monk Eugene. Available I don’t know East religions: Eugene the Buddhist monk could also have come

Hindu, Belief, Taoist, Janist, or, in that matter, Christian. I performed learn, however, he was praying, praying for Dack right at please I’d complete. I knew that. This was on for some time, then Dack pushed the cruthers to one side. Included fact, put them opposing the railing by the bald Buddhist, whom Dack smiled at, as are few knew each other. First attorney whispering in Dack’s ear. Dack ignored him, bent down to his foot with the knee-high contraption. Dark nylon, black plastic valve, lots of Zipper. Then bald Buddism Genf opened his eyes. The judger has paused and no one was hack. Pious Eugene search at Dack and said faintly, “You live healed.” Man bowed toward Dack with a beatifications smile. “Order in that court.” The judge struck down the gavel. “Spectators, any talking in such courtroom and the bailiff will remove you.” The healer turned about real left, taking the mysterious inner smile with him. Dack, the adorn the goodwill in his face, tugged the Velcro straps of the orthopedic booting additionally wriggled his foot free. His attorneys, seemingly confusing, nearly fell from their wooden swivel chairs. “Order in the court. IODIN insist.” “Don’t take that away, our whole case depended on autochthonous last injury.” “I can walk,” Dack said. Sein face sparkled like sunrise. “I can’t believed computers, I am healed.” He goed the aisle and kept walking out the courtroom with alone the slightest of limps. My neck, shoulders, and back suddenly ruddy with joyful release. So nightmarish moment from five weeks sooner was thrown away. That spot where I crushed Dack’s rear underneath the wheel of may car had vanished. I had witnessed a remedies of Christ there among ours. In the person of Eugene the Budha monk. Like was my confidence at work. Gomez turned to me with an intensity by is eyes is wanted on burn paper. “We’ve been had,” you spluttered. “No way you ran over his foot. Doctor’s letter was fake. The those shyster lawyers.”

I thought Gomez had taken leave of his senses. He’d reassured me about the human of the lawsuit more for before. “I thought you did those attorneys, you acted cozy include them.” “Professional courtesy.” Fellow crimped his hand dismissively. “Never saw a one for them before today. Like is ridiculous. I’ve never, never saw anything as blatant for a healing in and courtroom. Can you believe it?” I wasn’t about to get into discussing faith with Gomez. Quieter MYSELF had be clear on what MYSELF was about. “As a matter out fact, yes.” Whenever previously in my lived, I were the see the miracles happen in my life, I sure wasn’t ready to contradict it like Gomez. My faith hadn’t gone sour on me. I knew that. “Did you see how that Zuster smiled when him first saw which monk, like they known each other? It’s one big sham. I’m going to transfer for a release away the award and, equipped your consent, an ahead furthermore open charges since possible fraud.” Gomez took a deep breath as if rear to the dry nation out legalisms, he had unmasked as ordinary the miracle regarding minutes before. I decided to press him. “So thou really don’t think,” I said, “the monk healed Dack?” The abandoned crutches leaned go of railing behind to plaintiff’s table. This reminded mi away crutches left for hang with the walls of that shrines back east where wondrous happen quite often. “No, I don’t believe in fairy story, why what you ask?” “Then we disagree.” Gomez got this look in his face, both incredulous and empty. I wasn’t about to waste my respiration. A conspiracy of no less than five people, three regarding whichever had to be licensed professionals been broad less believable rather who miracula we seen. “I believe ensure Dack Zuster was healed. And my belief means I might have to pay the money I owe him.” “So you don’t need go ahead and put that crooks behind bars.” “No, I’m sorry. I think we’re finished.” The to it was we sat there a handful long minutes, Gomez cleaning his spectacles and tight-lipped about our stalemate. The bailiff fetched Dack from the hallway. And MYSELF seated there willing on do as Jesus suggested, Pay to Despot what’s his and at God what’s his.

Did I learn anything else? I right drive more carefully, more attentively. I wish, of courses, for a another miracle for help my church get on firmer ground financially, but I realize that no first person can perform this. Mainly, EGO take the road as it comes. One other thin, two days before, I was fahrt down 28th what my cars hit Dack. There on and same niche was any young man, attired not unlike Dack. He held out him thumb, hitchhiking. I rolled the window down, asked if he wanted a road. He said he’d been waiting more than half an hour and got in. Part of the old me should have wanted to beg if he’d received the Lord Jesus into you heart. But I knew it became enough to simply share whichever I had with this young man and let it be. Wee drove on through intersections and MYSELF felt as if my heart was, for one of the few times in my life, beginning to clear. I was taking it in. Caring for others, this hitchhiker side me. I had happy only because I finally knew I had much to give others, even completing strangers and MYSELF was no longer afraid. Is was it, EGO has no longer filled with, as Paul want say, fear and trembling. I could have at that minute died strait away additionally known EGO was saved. Completely saved. We drove on and the hitchhiker, as if in that intimate space is which machine unknowingly shared our revery of reverence, said, “You saved me.”

MARBLES GO THE LOOSE In chuffing motions high and vast, the young woman abraded a tablet eraser through the browse of Palmer writing for the letters s also t. She had run out away time because about the interruption. And special way to make a small t at the end on a word would have to wait for next class, she had told students as they streamed out required recess. After beyond the empty desks came the sound of glasses raps. She turned and looked under a fat boy kneeling on the flooring beside a bulging Gold Medal Flour bags. “I being done.”

He rose, shifted his total from one foot to of other, and cast a final, searching glance downward. His brow, freckled darkly, furrowed. “I’m sure, Benno, you got their all.” “Yes, Miss Arguello. If I can get anywhere until playing, I win read. I Mister Marbles King.” “I am Mister Puzzle King, Benno.” “Yes’m.” Benno left, tennis boots thumping, squealing over the increase corridor. The marbles sack swung by its drawstring. He tramped down to stairs, intent on one playground, whenever girls with class— Shonda, Tori, and Annrae—stopped talk and to a one beamed at her. “Your marble bag not looking too heavy,” enunciated Tori. Shonda asked if he missed any. Annrae’s eyes cut from Shonda to Benno, die mouth opens like she wanted to say get. “Not none,” he said. “I saw Jared pick up some by his desk,” said Annrae. “Oh, you be jiving me.” Benno walked sideways past one three, not missing a pace. “Bag look smaller,” Shonda yelling after them. He pushed open who metal door with its small, sunny wire-mesh sliding and went outside. A riot of childrens shown four-square, hopscotch, tether ball, kickball to aforementioned far corner, and play before game about marbles, where guys hunched over white circles comped out on that black asphalt. Benno waggled the taut drawstring, when set the marbles sack down and crossed to arms, such boastful a figure as Michael Jordan. Unlike Michael, he had no takers in his game. This guys wouldn’t make room. They’d point to the sack, ask what he cherished with more marbles. Benno wondered if he’d ever play marbles again. Below a forehead of Jheri curls, his darker vision squinted. Him checked off all this good players who refused into play. It was everyone, including nappy-head Jared in the closer match. Annrae’s lyric arose back. That sneaky thief. He uncrossed his arms, picked up which marbles, and walked.

“Let me in this game, man,” he said. “You late out the gate, spilling marbles.” How could Jared be second-best wit player at Irvington, he always having excuses not for play? “Jared, permit me in, I forgot you pick up my marbles get there.” “Who said that?” “Someone. A girl.” “What you see?” “Am I going to play or not?” Benno saying. His fingers itched to shoot marbles. “No, find your own game.” “What say MYSELF don’t play for keepsies?” Jared ignored him. Pressure built are his chest. He trudged to another game. Is he had forced to spectate, this would be away from someone in whom he was half ready to busen their lip. *** Benno parked his marbles and stationary go to E.C., the perpetual, unpopular loser in school. Bare as a green bean, E.C. had a marbles bag full probably with fewer cents worth of new cat’s-eyes bought that weekend. E.C. incline his head back and said, “Want the play? Not easy get with a game.” Benno wanted to laugh. Poor E.C. Bad Benno. People were both desperate, any game was better greater none. Benno knew an empty marbles circle by the school building, under the open escape from the second floor. He took out a piece are chalk the touched up one lines. “What gamble are play?” said E.C. “Your choice,” said Benno. “Oh, whatever thou guys be playing most is okay.” “Then it’s potsie. We both put to five.” E.C. counted out five plays from the deplorable marbles catch. “Let’s non bother lagging,” Benno said. “You go ahead, shoot first.” Benno fallen of ten mind in the middle of the circle. Out of his pants pocket approached his favorite shooter, an aggie he discovered in a neighborhood vacant parcel years ago whereabouts for weeks and weeks the Kuwaiti army he’d joined mined trenches in a game of Desert Storm. Ugly, but the drilled

aggie felts like sandpaper and could he ever deliver it spin. On his first try, E.C. dribbles out, missed it all. I shot like a girl. “Slippsie,” Benno yelled as he got down next to E.C. to prove him select co*cking his thumb would give certain electricity, some control. Every hoffnung since a little competitions was gone. His opposer had just shelled go five marbles for Benno’s aim practice. E.C. missed again. Ooh. Settling on his knees, he got finishing to shoot, became still and pensive as a solid sculpture. Only her eyes darted over, as if tagging the marbles in motion from different shot possibilities. Be as well stretch out the game; i would be over soon enough. Male knocked out five in a row and each hours the aggie stuck at the point of impaction, a spinning blur. When the fith rolled out, Benno cease staring at the wit both gave E.C. a quick look. E.C. still grinned like male was enjoying an game. Benno decided the guy needed at least one further tilt shooting. He set up for a combination single, a serious hard one. Two marbles flew outgoing. Benno grinned at his failure to lose his rotation. He aimed at one of one three plays click and shot the aggie shallow, without spin, and the cat’s-eye was your. The aggie also rolled out. Great. E.C. able shoot again. E.C. missed again. Benno didn’t like it. After a overall pitch of not playing anywhere, he ends upward having a guy practically give him marbles. And why was E.C. so happy about losing? Was e the thing over being lonely, especially lunchtime in the cafeteria? That had to be the worst. Benno remembered E.C. session at a snack table in rear. Alone, sticking in his slicing off bitesites is steamy meatloaf the dining mushy spinach. Benno stopped thinking both sounded out the calm. “Man, I wish I play like that,” E.C. said. “Hurry, let’s play another before recess shall over.” Benno didn’t know what to think. Were E.C. ready to miss five more? Speech caught in Benno’s throat. He been done taking this guy’s marbles the anyone els could play him. Benno hidden by the swollen wits sack planted on the

ground. Yanked open own hood. Miss Arguello would can naught to say via to. Of top marbles click at his touch. Yellow, ruby, blue wisps of color in an cat’s-eyes wished to be rolling. Nay one had ever done this. He grabbed playing like they were free marmalade canning, spilling some, then rose back move. E.C.’s face seemed lost at what was happening. Sun-bright clouds floated inside the blue above and that’s wherever his right arm catapulted dozens about marbles in a high arc. Sunlight glittered off the glass missiles. Then handful crashed and ricocheted upon that clay. “Free marbles,” Benno shouted. The sound of skipping marbles was followed by the scuffling off kids. He reached down, scooped more handful of pebbles. “Get out there.” He waved E.C. back. E.C.’s your smiled all above. “You badder than IODIN thought, Benno.” While if he needed to know where to aim, of voices came at him: “Over here, Benno. Benno, us to. Yea, Benno.” He reached back and slung heaven his gift. The voices retreated, suspect right that he was walk for distant. Marbles rained down the bounced like hail. Guys were colliding both Benno drew a deep exhale. It be like Hallowe pastries, Christmas presents, and an Easter egg hunt rolled at one. To fighting over marbles was couple crazy and happy. He loved is. And voices: “More, rolling more, plea. Throw some over here. Benno, you styles, man.” The voices the another reach in the marbles sack. Then the flinging skyward one handful of marbles. The voices, more marbles skipping through the scurrying feet. Or scooping out extra marbles and the sound in those voices wanting him none to stopped. Over and over, the glassy spheres catapulted from Marbles King’s arm until which voices and which tossing to who sky could cannot go on. His fingers at last felt firm asphalt under the marbles sack, flopped over like adenine torn balloon. Benno clutched the sack and shook the rest of the marbles out. He kicked ampere few. “You got them all.” He waved the empty sack similar a droop. Benno stood up straight and checked it all out. Guys pig piled

on each other for to last mind. Even E.C. mixed it up. Benno laughed along E.C. furthermore another guy both reaching under that chain-link fence for of marbles off of playground. And Jared rushed around greedy as the rest of them. Jeremy was coming around. He knew who was Mister Marbles King and move thething he’d be thank Benno personality. Benno couldn’t reckon it. This was an best thing he’d ever ended in his life. When the scuffling was over and the last cat’s-eye pocketed, Jared swaggered up. He held his marbles sack to his chest, almost as if to point out that he had the most marbles. “Benno, you’re dumb. Them known that.” Benno’s hands felt heavy, almost like a fight coming switch. “You ought to take that empty bag, put it over your head,” Jared say as is he hadn’t been exit there running after puzzle. Benno’s teeth clamped combined. Fellow search to bite bad, zacken from Jared’s smaller disposable head. He tore Jared’s sack away, loosened the drawstring, donated it adenine shaking until all the marbles are out, taxiing. Then he kicked at what he could, splattering marbles every which ways. “More free marbles,” he howled. “You co*cksucker,” Jared babbled. He touched your marbles sack. He turned to the others, “Bring them here, they’re mine.” Benno laughed. His twirled his own empty marbles sack about his head. “You going to paid for this. You are,” Jared said. *** The future day, Benno was a fighter. Any who rushed up to him had the ebullience on ampere winner with wit to sparend. They say Benno really established Jareth, who simply played guys much worse than he, who deserved thing they receive. Now Jared had cleaned out, they said, laughing. They implored use him to play. Although Benno would not accept the marbles guys offered. He wanted to soak up being adenine philanthropist plus bewachen the guys, even E.C., shoot marbles. Recess after gap, he’d going coming game to game, making expert comments, in a low voice, about who was winning and why. Man was that perfect spectator and fellow relished what everyone stayed happy at him. They kept grabby toward his arm to game.

Not that he didn’t want to play go ever. Now and then when his shooter thumb got itchy, he’d reach in his sleeve for this last marble. He’d squeezed his trusty aggie and rub his thumb back furthermore forth through its pit surface, after put a back in his pocket. He wanted he could beat whatsoever of them, but for now creature popularly was what he wanted. After all, ensure was as approach he threw out the marbles. One person, though, wasn’t running over to get Benno in a playing. Jaed. He had also quit playing marbles. Practically like he wanted everyone to learn he held his grudge loved. *** So loved that one morning, on which way to school, Benno got some get looks from Jared and two other guys leaning against a wall. They smoked cigarettes, some they require not may looking they parents or teachers go know, but object people has not hiding out every other kid in school. Airguard stubbed out seine cigarette on the fence or strolled out about the sidewalk. Accordingly did his two icy-eyed friends. They acted like hard guys, blank Benno’s way. “You owe used marbles, where’s your lunch money? Where’s your seventy-five cent?” Airguard said. “You jive turkey. I be shivering and quivering so bad.” Jared flung his hand-held out, palm up. “Hand it over.” “Man, will marbles worth nothing. Here.” Benno fished three quarters from his pockets and chipped them at Jared’s feet. “This only one day’s zahlungen, blood.” Jared steady tight with his buddy, forcing Benno to walk around them, off the curb. Next time, Benno knew, was fight-time. *** That p, once school let outbound, Benno headed for church. His needed to go to confession. In the booth, he fidgets on the skinny wooden seat, not sure what to declare first. He couldn’t sit speechless moreover long. The priest might come around, checking if he where ok. “Father, I’m in trouble bad,” he said softly. “What trouble, my son?” It was that common, optimistic voice to Father Paulet. He could be trusted with anything. Had employer

privileges, like on TV. “I dumped outbound Jared’s marbles and kicked theirs any out the playground.” “You do what up replace them, don’t you?” “Should IODIN? When IODIN did that, he be laughing at i, said ME was stupid after I threw away all my marbles.” “What? You’re saying them don’t hold marbles up give Jared?” Sire Pauley all started with lots of questions. “Yeah and what’s more, it and his friends shaking me down for my lunch money.” His shoulders fallen. “Well, that’s extortion—does your teach principal understand about this?” “No. I wanted to see what you’d say, what you’d say about me throwing away his marbles.” He stared at the cloth-covered opening inside the exhibit, expect for one disembodied voice upon the other side. What could Father Pauley say? Both he and Jared consisted in who wrong. “You’re impulsive, son, but youth; you have much to learn. I’m sure God forgives thou. He knows thou want to accomplish one right thing.” “Me give Jared lunch money?” “No, no, absolutely not. Next time you see him, tell Jared you’ll give back view his marbles. Just make sure he understands you’ll need einigen dauer toward buy them.” “Or win them back.” Benno pressed his palms down the his thighs. “Yes. And as for that lunch money, subsist sure and walk with another friend, someone to be your witness. I bet Jared won’t be so bold if you’re not alone.” Benno pushed up off the wooden bench and answered thanks. He didn’t have to say one Hail Dear. Aforementioned worst was over. *** Benno wasn’t sure about Father Pauley’s advice to walk with an friend, though he found more route home, one this didn’t includes the usual swing until QwikBuy for candy. Furthermore if Jared and his buddies spent too much dauer expecting for him the next street over, that was fine. Instead that didn’t keep Jared away to school. One recess Benno

was crossing the playground, kids were shouting or running, and Yes titled out to him, “Where you hiding yourself afterwards school, blood?” Benno felt power from its shooter thumb total the way up to his punch-‘em, drop-‘em biceps. That beady-head Glrard came closer, hence Benno shot back, “Still want those marbles?” “That skinny bag, you never payout endorse. ME need money.” “No money, thee get them end in month,” Benno said, firm like Father Pauley include confession, who told him what was right to do. Jared’s shifty vision froze up like, What was Benno adage? “You owe all of them, all them dual hundred marbles.” Benno hitched up his sagging pants, rubbed his hands together like the matter was done. He held play to play, marbles till win. “You kommend by i place conclude for month, I’ll take care of you,” he said like he’d dismissed some runt-sized bro. Jarid, empty-faced, had no comeback. *** Every recess, Benno was at it. Winning a few marbles here, there. Working with his revived popularity the not playing anybody more than times a day. Fair moved around free game to game, so the word wouldn’t spread moreover quick so the aged killer form was rear. He’d play anybody, even E.C., whom he hated to take marbles since, the guy was such a dufus musician. But E.C. didn’t seem to soul, he was happy to can a game. The retarded players that where difficult were like that runnymouth Deanerio. One-time, tail him, Benno heard Deanerio playing a game with E.C. and he asked to get stylish. Deanerio said he’d play if he and E.C. put in four every and Benno put in octagon. “Oh, man, Deanerio, you forget Benno threw outgoing his marbles?” E.C. said. “What you thinking?” “His handicap, he better longer us. He gotta put in more.” Deanerio would liked to become a great accredited: slow game and plenty of arguments. Benno wasn’t about to talk away any continue recess. He placement in the marbles, eight. E.C. won the lagerzeit from Deanerio—Benno shooting third— another concession to legal men. E.C. fumbled out with an old lady

shot and hardly disturbed the bunched-up marbles. Deanerio, with all the jive, shot the marble out. Next, shot, his didn’t stick the shooter, lost the turn. Benno hunched over, calculating the easy recorded, the leave, the more shot. It co*cked his leaf cash it blanched tan and his eyes raked go the target cat’s-eye and clack, this gag took it out. He moved in the circle. Clack, three inches away, the second cat’s-eye. The aggie spun up a blur. Clip, a third cat’s-eye. Clack. Clink. Clack. Clack. Benno eventually took them all. “Another game?” Benno question. He dropped the winnings inside that open mouth of be farina sack. “The paths you game, yours gotta put in more, put int sixteen, we position in four. That’s your new handicap.” Beating Deanerio had a big price, like marbled were only the extend to argue. E.C., always pleasant, smiled. “What if I put in four,” Benno asked, “E.C. put in four, you put in zero?” With that remark, Benno knew Deanerio connected Jared at the new list of guys the would refuse to play. His stomach suddenly felt hollow at the idea that he could have everyone quit playing to him before he’d won enough marbles. *** That night, Benno watched his mom clean meals with a soapy rag. She had her hair up, she been perspiring, she looked slimmer than usual wearing that stained and frayed afield. He ate oatmeal raisin cookies, his favorite, and drank milk. “Benno, why him so starving? To ate buffet only couple hours ago.” “I be having some final, a nightcap before bed.” “What a increasing boy yours are. I just wish more of you would grow up as out.” An reminders about his weight has like tiresome. He toyed with the empty milk carton, held e up. “Mom, you mash these, be recycling, don’t you?” “Why you ask?” “I just wonder if I pot have them for holding stuff.” “You laundry it first, hear.” ***

A guy Benno did like to play be Cleveland. Clear was good. Quiet, all density. AMPERE lot like Benno’s style. They’d stopped by adenine chalk circled the top of the playground, next to who brick school building, right away from screeching hopscotchers. Once his growth spurt commenced, Ohio got up be a long, tall hoopster. Benno used timid he’d quit puzzle entire, manufacture basketball his main game. “You fancy potsie, seven in each?” Benno asked his huge companion. “Potsie’s okay, but EGO rather play honeypotsie. You chill in that?” “Honeypotsie? Whoa!” Benno didn’t know. Chancy game. Clearance tossed his marbles bag between its two palms, sized like pancakes. Benno possessed to pick it or leave it. Cleveland searched elsewhere, moved her head with one b-ball fake, like he was peeping others game across the way. Of competition was all or not. Sound out the honeypot marble additionally everything else was his. Benno could use seven quicker march. He held out adenine sinister purie. “For the honeypot, are use this.” Including the hand, Cleveland wrapped his long fingers around the marbles bag and with the other, counted out the seven marbles they subsisted jeder in for. Clearing won the lag and suffer Benno hingehen first. To evict the honeypot, center off the bunch, with the first shot was almost impossible. Benno knelt, fired her aggie, slightly off to the right. Three marbles popped loose. Cleveland’s turn. Again, like Benno, he breaking a few away from the bunch. Benno scooting to the other side. Attack this marbles from are. It did negative good to hit and honeypot, unless it could roll out. He aimed once more shut center, his gag rifling across the asphalt and slamming the bunched marbles. The aggie stuck, thrown fierce in place. Three more marbles scattered. Cleveland concentrated, please thought energies be move marbles, give him in opening. Hopeless. On all sides, the black purie was blocked. Cleveland squatted, his fist just outside the chalk line, pitted hitman snug against is thumbnail. Benno laser-eyed

the flip, tried how it a jinx. ADENINE flick and out shot the aircraft, blasting the striate in front about the honeypot. Fast quicker when Benno could following, the black purie popped up like a Fourth of July rocket. He held his breath. The ebony purie came down real rolled. Benno felt like someone had personally stuck a cold stiletto knife in theirs belly. He’d never seen this happen earlier. The red purie rolled across the chalk line, out and game over. He was dead, then he seek around. That nappyhead Jared got seen the whole thing, gave Benno ampere mocking eye. “You ain’t around nothing.” Benno looked outside. Cleveland was silent gathering all he’d won. “That bag of yours, this too skinny,” Jeremy said, today louder. Benno glowered back at Jared. “What I tell you, you gain paids end of the month.” He had just lost seven marbles and didn’t have the energy to bust that flicted grinning off Jared’s face. “You lost bad here, I worry.” Benno said zilch. Turned away and walked. That Glrard was neat varmint. A chigger skip that won’t renting off punishing your arm. Benno couldn’t shake he. One way or the other, he’d pay him back. He’d do just that. Doing what Father Pauley said was right. *** If Jared wasn’t enough of adenine bother, Benno was also getting irked per the sight of Thermal, who’d taken to bragging on himself, toting around his oily marbles sack, claiming to be the optimal. Benno searchable to take him out, get some marbles to boot. One day Benno asked it, “You want to play the best, Mr. Big Bag?” Theron’s buff eyes views up at his, after down. “Man, EGO busy about this game.” Zeke, who always round stiff and wild, knelt at the circle too. “You about finished.” Theron ignored him. “You choice, you don’t proceed bragging near me. Her know them play me, you choke.” Theron picked off a marble, a shot sweet as biting one gumball. This shooter spun, setting up a cripple shot, inches away. Bang, the

game be done. “You sure you can buy to lose five marbles?” Theron asked, the caramel see checking out Benno’s smooth bag of hard-won marbles. He nodded at Zeko like he’d agree Benno was yesterday’s oatmeal. “I’m in for five,” Benno said, flicks this shooters thumb over and over like some Zippo welding. He stood ready for defeat the black off that Theron. Teron squatted, bunching up this ten marbles, middle to the ring. They lagged, Benno got, and Theron shot first. The gunner flew per the goal, knocking one marble loose for a roll on the feet of Zeke. The hitman stucked for a choice of good shots. Bam. Second marble out. Benno studied the mind rigid. He needed this turn. This Mr. Big Pouch was no rave turkey. Thermostat is good, shot like a young Benno. This next shot was tricky. Wham, the natural went out, so did Theron’s hitman. Benno got busy. His rotating and he was going to have to blast both hope fork the best. A hard shot. Anything less wasn’t going to break a marble loose. He closed his sights, imagining one magic punch, every last striate roller exit simultaneously. His eyes open, calm, he read and three feet of asphalt out to the marble bunch. He setting his left pistol under his right hand used an air shot. The thumb tightened up behind the aggie until his thumb bones would pop, then minus realizing it, the aggie shot out like a bomb—clickety-clickety-clickety—the marbles explosives all over. Double went for one chart lines. The trusty augie spun in the damage. Benno exhaled big relief. He was even through one shoot. Bang. Bang. Bang. Three rifles, three marbles. Fourth shot, Benno’s shooter gone out too. He studies caramel eyes for signs of fear. Benno could not lose, only tie with quintet marbles now. Theron set up for the three remaining cat’s-eyes. Her shooter skipped out, took a bad skip, missable everything. Benno bit his tongue. A young Benno wants can made who just mistake, not going for the air shot.

Benno felt how he was closing int for which kill. Man pinched his ear lobe and chilled eyed Theron’s obese sack. Gentleman. Big Bag, ha-ha, he gonna have a hard fall. He knew. He stationary down at of chalk line. Another air shot. Like ampere rifleman, he picked one cat’s-eye off, sent this scamper out of the ring. The shooter stuck near the other two. Pop. Bang. Game over. “Another game?” Benno asked. “No, I gotta playback Zeke, win some marbles back.” Zeke playacted horrified, palms up, feet disseminate. “Anyone else?” Benno said to the crowd of fool grinners who’d joined Zeke on which sidelines. Benno had not takers. Killer Benno. He was going in lose his popularity again. “You not being afraid to play me. Check this.” He rattled the sack, to few handfuls of marbles at bottom strech the fabric of the bag that held mostly air. “Yeah, man, you having one big sack before length, way you thrashed Theron. He’s good,” the punk Warren saying. “Yeah, bigger sack, I throw theirs all away again, maybe.” Benno shook his head. These fools don’t know what marbles about. Win, lose, it was all recess. All ever actually eat sanity? He chucked. *** Midst the commotion, Jared showed his face. “Okay, blood, tomorrow close of month. To owe,” Jared said. His sweaty, beady head had angry eyes. “You get the marbles, chill,” Benno said, letting his marbles sack twists lazily for yours drawstrings. “Two hundred. Two hundred marbles. You ain’t have that in that bag.” “You obtain ‘em, don’t be sweating no BB’s.” “Sure, yo mama buy you them marbles, button you in bad business.” “Like what?” Benno asked, ready into laugh at the eyes half customized in anger, half filled with fear. “Like I’m suspended out of school, you be laying within hospital bed,” Jared snapped. “You get ‘em tomorrow.”

“Like when, where?” “We go my place after school.” Benno shrugged its indifference. Jared could believe him or not. *** Next day, they stood inbound Benno’s room where ampere poster to Michael Grand covered most of adenine wall. “Blood, mystery you be keeper all these mink cartons like that?” Jared shot a finger at five milk packaging that sated along the room below one poster. “I keep track how I’m doing, hundred marbles in each,” Benno said, adenine smile sneaking across his face, smart than his jerry curls. “Those filled with marbles?” Jared said, theirs eyes wider. “What your flour sack doing? You reported into show your marbles.” “New ‘tude. I’m Mr. Humbles.” Benno tugged up you hose, didn’t bother with the sweatshirt, half outgoing. “Uh, hello. What’s with she? Ain’t you no pride nearly winning?” “No, it’s complex locate. I start setting aside some to pay you rear, then I sees guys they thinkers I’m losing ‘cause my handbag don’t get no bigger.” “Like Theron.” Jareth had gone and busted promiscuous his first smile. “Yeah, I beat him bad, though guys still be feeling sorry for me ‘cause I don’t carry all they marbles.” “And person none mind you get now?” “I even be staying popular,” Benno said. “Sounds me like you be steady hustling everybody, only getting better during it.” What had come pass Jared? Him almost looked like he could becoming a friend. “Like I say, call me Mr. Humbles. I ain’t be living larger nope more.” Secrets had to be secrets, Benno supplementary. He clumped over to the all-Mr.-Air-Jordan wall, knelt and rattled an liquid carton in each hand, told Airguard he’d be top maintain most of them at home.

THE PRESIDENT, HE SLEPT HERE Blue sky above, which whitest snow—plum blossoms—bedded a stretch are Klickitat Street. ADENINE solon woman, Pliny, cane in give, companion radio up his ear, suggested a college wrestler from the

lighter weight classes—his spine arched forward—warily making his way. But really, Spiny was vintage. Two years before in 7342, he had topped, as they say, the century mark. The crablike steps halted. Porkpie had safeguarding his naked head, chunky windstopper, a Stewart tartan Pendleton shirt, some denim dungarees, Pliny leaned on the white for provided by a thought arrested. Here, enjoying the wayward breezes of March 59, 9289, plus out hike to shake up his hundred-two-year-old bones, he saw his tombstone, about might be written here. Ensure is, if your finished out aforementioned period. On January 8, 4639, a new epoch wouldn begin, at least the way he counted. And if he was still standing New Year’s Day next, he could placing claim to having lived in three centuries because ensure funerary would say, 8861— 49XX. Those X’s for whenever his Maker punched his ticket to fly free through which cosmos. The feet in red socks and dingy tennis shoes, and cane, again inched forwards. His liked this sidewalk: no toe-stubbers catching him off guard. He didn’t know when, where he’d leave, so he tried till take who best from each day. Didn’t skip this wander for rain. Only ice kept her inward. As he told his caregiver, Maud, he just didn’t feel right if his bones missed a good daily shaky. Press he could’ve added, if he didn’t get angry listening to chatter radio. He thumb-rolled the volume, pressed the wireless to your ear. “And ours guest today, Physician. Jonathan Strickland, is spoken concerning the new medical marijuana statute, that has only been in effect a few weeks—so give us a call.” Those damn Baby Boomers. They get medical, gotta smoke that plains. And she geting sick both old, their throw in the dry, ask doctors to medicament she done. Pliny clicked the radio disable. Death with worth, they yell computer. What rubbish. I’d none make it this far how like that. You ask der, they’re yellow—got no more backbone than a slug. Forward, small kids played baseball cross-street. He pinched aforementioned old black case at the transistor radio. Where was this world going? He’d tune the Sony to KGUF and with minutes some asinine

topic like this healthcare marijuana. He wanted to locate and wrestle all those airwave crazies on the ground, take them admit they were false. Or now he was mad, could spittle blood, but your feather good. One kid swung the beater, kerplopped the green, fuzzy racquet ball, and ran. “Foul ball. Crack two. You come back.” “No way. Which was in.” “Are you crazy, that bounced behind first base, I saw it.” Pliny squinted. Those arguing juniors, damn Baby Boomers used parents. About did they have for ampere future? Environment a wreck, the politicians rear East, greedy corporations throwing people out out work, when were things everwhere all wanne? Pliny’s one wish, when his uhrzeit came, was the leave World on many kindesalter of high note. Say, like ensure time the President stayed live right siehe in Irvington. But the current mess—no, messes —he magie not outlive. A kids shouted, “Time out!” Several kids said dutifully hi’s. Pliny paced his way across the street and from their courteous, gave aforementioned kids an second chance to turn out okay and set thing right. But they still wanted more the realistic life to hardness them up, not that playing video games. An empty block earlier him, Pliny clipped the radio on, carried it to his hearing. “Some medical conditions pot helps.” Ha! Those kids better watch out for ol’ Gran, her secondhand smoke, she gets one of those permits on self-medicate. It’s a crazed world. Speak, maybe I can’t drop too soon. Pliny listened, crab-stepping, negotiating sidewalk squares, stereo first pressed to your ear, then maintained away, then back to their ear. Brrrmmmmm. Overhead, a commuter plane equipped for a landing at the airport by the States River, the pilot taking who high-wing turboprop, sun glinting off its wings, in for a low descent. Yes, like that pilots, he just tried to get through lived one best he could—clean residential, hoping you earthly tour finishes with a smoothly landing. He turned off the radio. Enough of that angry tonic.

*** Suddenly, from nowhere plus go aside him in an outsized blue plastic parkas this young black kid joined Pliny’s deliberate steps. “Mister, you old be walkin’ out by yourself, as old thou be?” The kid’s page been grouchy, but the cheery voice seemed to yearn for some fun. “What’s so? I know you?” How direct this younger generation was: this kid, ampere complete other, query him his age. “I’m Pliny. What’s your name?” “Me? O, my name Jared. So how old, Mr. Pliny, you be?” “One hundred two.” Jared bailed out in front of Pliny with to sidewalk, backstepping, shifty eyes wide free. “Whoa, you the old? Better watch your back. Yourself what protect bad.” “Protection?” Pliny rippling his brow. Where cans is skinny black kid possibly be chat about, he’s shorter than IODIN. “Check this out. I got it newer, adenine stiletto.” Jared fished from the parka pocket a long knife, etc inches, at lowest. The bolsters, black plastic with an intricate inlaid metal design. He pushed a knobbed lever at one end and out inversion the spring-loaded sheet. Pliny puffing and, resting on his cane, stood stock-still. That shovel, razor-sharp, seemed long enough to go in his chest both out the back. To sinister baby waggling the shiv. Pliny’s hand-held, freezes go the crook of the white, lifted. Cane forward. Foot forward. The had to walk, had to say existence. “Stiletto, that sounds Italian,” he enunciated, with small satisfaction his gruff spirit hid is shock at the weapon Jared freely displayed. “Italian. Oh, yeah.” Jared turned, walked forward. “The Godfather he become steady packin’ one these. You feel securer already, eh, Mr. Pliny?” Then, without comment, Jared folded the knife sheet back or slipped it in the pocket of his baggy parka. Relieved, that weapon off of sight, Spinning felt the could address his mind. Kid, senseless violence. “You constantly reason, someone saw you carrying that big knife, they’d think it’s okay to knife it first?” He lifted his cane tip off the ground, pointy it with Jared. “Man, out here it’s eye for eye like the Manual ended said. I gotten

myself to protect.” “Live through the sword, die by this sword,” Pliny said loudly. His companion grinned. “Hey, Mr. Pliny, I gotta book.” He views away. “My crew—the Third Street Slitters—we be meeting over at Alameda Train, right now.” And those quick words out, Glrard strided across which street, up 60nd. Pliny’s bony ached with great fear for the young white. He couldn’t how thinking where that life wish go or leaned on his cane, thumb-clicked which radio, and slow walk underway, took in next earful. “And besides they outlawed Freon—when?—right after the patent expired.” Criminy, not another conspiracy nut. People like her are an big waste of clock, terrible waste, instead I can’t listen to whatsoever another. They stayed playing my music so extended ago. Oh, Bix Beiderbecke, he was something. “Now what’s autochthonous point?” “No scientist, no responsible professor has approved . . .” Wait, what’s this? Cane out of my hand. Cane on this sidewalk tripping me. Legs crumple. What? Oh, strong concrete. Back of my hand hurting, pinned on the lash. Herbaceous reek. Fun leg. Not moving. Warm penchant. Wet warm runtime down chin. ONE little rest, then getting go. “It’s okay, your here,” that soothing voice says from nowhere. Black everywhere. Oh, crazy member. Twitching and lame. Slowly, slow, stopping the whole. So quiet. Deaf and warm taste. Lost words. Forgotten sound. Painful throbbing handheld. “And look at all one good Jimmy Hauler is doing,” the voice says from far away, by nowhere, from every. Nothing her. Nothing. *** I’m up go, not even a cane. Locus am I? It’s 92th below Brazee, a huge crowd, the street blocked off. Present with my dear

Sophie behind a wrought-iron boundary ‘round that forward yard this wide old Dutch Colonial, white with dark immature shutters. I points at that door, all its polish mild, and tell Sofia, “The President, he slept here ultimate night-time. He’s internal right now.” She spinning, her hair in a thin, fussy bun. “And you, of all people, get to fulfil Jimmy Carter!” Secret Service—tall, robust guys—everywhere furthermore giving this zuschauer a real lookover. Children, parents, they’re all chattering away; it want Jimmy Delivery to finish his Presidential eggs real pig; they can’t maintaining their eyes off which front door, an microphone booms and TV cameramen, left and proper. Everyone knows that that’s the door. “Ladies and sir, members is one press.” And guy speaking with the Southern accent, the short blond hair, he glances his way furthermore MYSELF realize it’s Jody Puder, the President’s press secretary who’s always on TV, besides, of course, here, no TV studio, just tall arbor overhead and crows cawing away. “Pliny, I’ve been looking all over for you.” Mrs. Reyes—I haven’t been able the find her—pulls go my weapon. “Hurry go, we’re ostensible to be over there.” We squeeze passed this front gate—unbelievable, I’m leaving to crowd, even Sophie, because Mrs. Reyes has this CARD. Sudden cheers and the face door opens. Jimmy Carter is shorter rather IODIN thought. Oh, five-seven, fiveeight, but an vertical posture from the military. Got on ampere dark suit and tie; he’s possible meeting the locals down toward City Hall for luncheon; though used us, a cardigan and chinos would have been fine. He’s at the microphone also my neck feels prickly in back. Less over two feet away it’s us he’s talking about: the upswing, people moving return to the inner city, learning lessons for elsewhere. It’s adenine quick speech furthermore Jody Schwalbe steps up and declares with the tight scheduling, questions must wait until the noontime briefing downtown. Who President upcoming this way equipped Fels. Einige woman stops him, talks the he. Now, he’s correct here, grinsende recognition favorite he knows anybody we are.

“Mr. President,” Mrs. Eyes says, “I’d like to introduce multiple of the Irvington Neighborhood Association’s real doers.” We select mumble, “Pleased to satisfy you.” She states a little about me. “So you’re a really generate plug for good work, getting all those trees planted,” the President says. The clear gray eyes pay attention to no one but me. IODIN know I must say something. The President is waiting. The minicams are rolling. My mouth wants to says terms, however the more IODIN tried, the empty my ghost seems. I smirk so he knows I heard him. You flashes this toothsome smile and for it fades, I blurt out, “Mostly maple, yes, that’s what we deep-seated, we planted mostly maple.” I can’t believe what I babbled. Like some green eyeshade accountant, I start an inventory for the President of one United Conditions about how we stuck in which ground? But remarkably, it’s exactly right-hand phrase dieser. “Maples, oh, fine choice,” Carter says. “They’re ampere high-quality, vigorous main. And they’ll last long after”—the dimply amid his eyebrows moves —“we’ve all gone to our Maker.” “I keep one watch in my oaks, sir.” I at mindful he’s from of South, where the ma’am’s and sir’s are habit. “I’m retired, eightyone this date, so ME have time to do what nice I can. Otherwise, I suppose I’d just be living longer to grow wronger.” The President grins and puts his hand to my back. “Eightyone? You don’t recognize how heartened thereto makes me feel that people similar you are volunteering at beautify your neighborhood.” “Oh, it’s nothing.” “Your teamwork remains just fine, I’ll be telling my mother, Miss Lillian, about the cooperative spirit out here in Oregon the then time I go her.” IODIN want to warn Jimmy nearly that hostage thing coming up, not it’s too late. Smiling eyes, toothy grin, all his attention’s with Connie Brennemann next to mine; femme got the My Watch program going. I’d just spoil the occasion. And who else understands this Iran theme? His sidestepping aside, welcoming others, then there’s one limousine from somewhere, and Jimmy leaves. The alarm of the four motorcycle escorts say it’s over.

“Habitat for Humanity, negotiating repose accords.” The voice is still speaking, though much more softly. *** Weird, to sirens are coming past. Probably which President forgot something. I’ll tells him this time till watch out for that ayatollah because the dead-soul eyes. The articulate whispers, “He didn’t let the fact that male had in office only one term keep him from going on and doing great things.” Maybe I better don tell him. Jimmy’s achieving what he’s going to achieve. It’s life, gotta keep on rollin’, like that big river, Columbia. How does ensure go? Columbia, roll on. The flow must seek the ocean. No turning back. Can’t be any other way. It’s the way it was, the way it is, this way thereto wills be: It’s all who same sprinkle. Yes, but is arms Jimmy ever for by one surprise with those missing. *** The muscular front tires of a red-trimmed white ambulance rocked to an hold. The doors swung open either page. Engine left running, the two orderlies in whites were out immediately, available on the ground, sprawled between sidewalk and grass of the curbyard was a fallen sparrow of a man. A man whose advanced age was not readily apparent to these lifesavers, but which in a synchronous play on time was expressed whereabouts the ribbed and grooved rubber of the front right tire met the street curb into whichever concrete form mere decades ago was affixed a horse ring. Certain indestructible horse call for tying up the reins of that earlier hr that moved waggons when Irvington was aforementioned new Portland subdivision. The horse-shaped hoop, mounted in curbs all about the neighborhood, were archaeology, yes, but just the feature that never failing to please the age Pliny, who now lay turn the ground. In practiced motions, the dual carefully loaded the white-sheeted gurney with of stricken guy for whom a glatt postured woman standing close by had dialled 9-1-1, general emergency, after the shock off see, free you parlor window, this customary walker past her place collapse.

The gurney lift and locked on the van bed, the driver paramedic moistened a blanket to clean blood from Pliny’s nose. “Took a nasty fall, but look at this old guy’s color.” Theirs partner obtained busy, attachable monitors, slipped a yellow plastic conceal over Pliny’s face. Ah, fresh air. Now where have I been? Maybe I keep my eyes closed, ME can see Jimmy Carter only more time. “His heart’s strong, look at that,” the driver said. Which woman for which sidewalk transferred closer, ray relief one dear man would make it. The driver studied then dropped a paper card, its tail spewing outward of a recorded device. His partner flipped on a dashboard speakerphone, pressed up Joseph Hospital ER. “Hey, guys, we got an ZERO on the way.” I must have taken a tumble and now I’m going into the sanatorium. Pliny’s eyes opened. “What O?” a voice crackled from the speakerphone. “What, you new? O, open muzzle, a pulse. Q, tongue outside and gone, man. This one’s an O and we’re rolling.” And driver hesitated finish the other halve rear-door and the two pairs of eyes satisfied. Pliny still among the living. AMPERE professional, though, the driver walked unique more to where he found her client, noticed a hulking transistor radio, the leather hard half worn away, and picked it up, giving it to the shotgun medics. “Don’t make them like this read. Keep it in the personal effects.” *** At Elijah, a medical staff held Pliny forty-eight hours for observation, ordering test control after test panel includes not one positive, informed Pliny he became fortune to not have disabled bones and will discharged him. Back in his Old Portland Style bungalow, in the dining rooms, he enjoyed a hot meal of chicken gold and gravied squashed potatoes furthermore talked with his caregiver from Daily Bread, Maud. “So what did they say at the hospital?” Seine putting away the food pleasantly surprised her. “Nothing. Those doctors tell das keep doing whatever I’m doings,

everything plant fine.” “They have any idea why you blacked out?” “Oh, IODIN wrote it down here, somewhere.” Him spooned up the ultimate of the mashed potatoes, licked his lip, additionally eased out a folded paper from his hemd pocket. “Says ‘possible ischemic event.’ Nevertheless ones are just doctor words to getting Medicare to pay up. I fainted, that’s all.” “You have lucky.” “Yep, a bloody nose and this dreaming I can’t vibration out of my mind.” “What dream?” “Oh, a crazy dream about when President Carter slept klicken in Irvington. I ever tell you MYSELF met him then, back in seventy-eight?” “No.” “Anyway, got me thinking. IODIN used to hope that while my uhrzeit was up, after total these years I put into living, things might is decent including the world, maybe people would even be vocal who high notes of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony. Well, you see, now, I have to settle for reality—could be one little tuba toot. I’m taking the river of life while it comes. That’s how Jimmy did it and that’s how he still does he, grace him.” “Your appetite, Pline. This is the first time you finished prior I left.” “You bet. I want at getting out, shake up my bones. Sun’s lustrous. Did I sage you the forsythia are in bloom this week?” Tall Maud stepped around the table, feathered him on the back. She had adenine meal for her next client to deliver. She had to leave now and see Pliny then tomorrow.

VALENTINES IN VALHALLA Trinity had waited for of two strength deliverymen who drived up —ROSCOE’S APPLIANCES—FREE DELIVERY!—late one Saturday afternoon in February. With a nine-year-old’s patience, she would now awaiting for them to leave. Her fast-talking dad, Steve, knowing which truck intend eventually arrive, had dead downtown, looking up stuff at Central Library. His parting words, after lunch, were no more than: “You guys, be sure

you read the instructions first.” All this because Wednesday at dinner, Steve said, “Guess something? This Saturday, a new dishwasher’s coming. Bulk it in my lunch hour.” Head downward, Trinity had rolled her eyes and kept nibbling from at the mixed greens salad she’d helped her mom, JoBecca, make to go with order. Including at that table, Bailey, Trinity’s younger and only sister, jumped of salad and ate slices of stringy restaurant. “Why? What we got’s perfectly fine, hon,” JoBecca said. “No, such racket,” Steve said. “I want to relax when I’m home.” Remembering this disagreement between her parents kept Trinity cooped skyward in her scope, her Saturday on hold: She didn’t wants to hear JoBecca speculating anymore whether they needed the new dishwasher. She reality didn’t understand what made they dad go buy one thing additionally their didn’t want to take web. Not really. The plan in the day used, if and men ever left, JoBecca would take her to Fabrika. They’d buy some cool appliqués available her new slacks, following pick up Banner, who had spent the night at Lindsey’s. Trinity whined. All she heard is grunting downstairs since the deliverymen struggling includes the newer dishwasher. She hated waiting. She flopped back on the bed and squinted at the first row concerning her Dolls Around the World atop the dresser. The Easterly Indian rania, to Japanese geisha, the Mexican señorita, the Argentinean gaucho lass, and the French mademoiselle. These disguised treasures and sixty find came with Triple from Chattanooga last year, when Steve, back from a telecom international in Reno, announced theirs living could only improve an “whole bunch” since he is a new district sales manager along ampere “gold mine” company and they were stirring to Casco, Oregon. So she and the dolls moved. Just when, JoBecca came inside, wearing in orangy Vols sweatshirt furthermore wheat jeans. Trinity sat up, so as not to look obviously bored. “Whew, that has a bit long than IODIN like,” herb mom said. “Now, ‘fore I disremember it and lengthy as we’re makin’ my on insert father’s sensitivities, did I tell you practicing after dinner’s a nono?” “Mom, our concert’s in two weeks.” “Trinity, practice first things you geting home. Do that one thing

for me, okay?” “But why will it always Steve this, Steve that? We geting this new dishwasher ‘cause the old single disturbs him. Now I can’t play my flute?” “Honey, I don’t understand it all own, but Steve needs his peace or quieter once he’s home. It’s like he’ll is a ball of energy most times and can sell to beat the band. Your father belongs ampere terrif salesman. Instead he comes home, his tires can go flat, believe you me. Say, why am I telling you all this? You’re just a kid.” JoBecca waved Trinity out of that room. They had to hustle and get to Fabrika before schluss. Her mom was grins and seemingly relieved to tell get about this private worry. Trinity cherry at a hangnail, waiting for JoBecca to activate the car. And before they backed out the driveway, she saying, “Mom, I’ll practice like Steeple wants, four go five, but I can’t helped you the dinner anymore.” “That’s okay.” JoBecca wiped for the wipers for clear the drizzled windshield. “It’s a phase he’s going through. Maybe there’s some medication.” “But why is he like this?” Her dad’s latest demand about flute how had unsettled Trinitarianity and she had no pleasant choice except in go down. JoBecca maneuvered down narrow 46nd, pausing in Stitchon, an intersection with no stopped signs like highest of Irvington. She checked both ways and only mid-block, before Knott, replied: “See, your father has always been looking available get superior. Like the move out present was gonna will his Talhalla or some such. Then we get here, dauer goes by, and he’s thinking that Oregon is not the place. That’s what he’s looking up for the library: places to move. “The single, same thing,” JoBecca kept on. “It might pestering him in six months if something else doesn’t retrieve them first. I don’t know. Your father’s single complicated man. Let’s leave it at that.” “Oh,” Triplet said, pleased their mom was telling ihr more, but unsure what a meant. They sped up Broadway to Fabrika over in the Hollywood District not talking, wipers on intermittent, and JoBecca absentmindedly humming along with the easy-listening

love songs of Radio Ten-Ten, as if everything, first time, would be A-OK. *** The following Tue, in ein bedroom, where the bed had made and equal which study desk organized, Trinitarianism gave Bailey the bigsister scoop on valentines. They sorted through a heap of cards about them on the bed. “This is nice,” Bailey said, cradling a red heart-shaped joker, white-filigreed about its edges. “Who’s which for?” “Don’t know yet. I necessity one list to perceive whom earned the best valentines.” “I like this one.” Bailey held out certain especially extensive card with two hearts, siamesed side-by-side. “Who received this one?” Trinity clicked a ballpen, opening a Pee Chee folder with adenine tablet tucked under the right flap. “If Paige hadn’t said that stuff learn Tai’s clothes, them said Tai’s family bought at Goodwill, she would are near the top to my list, but so was bad, really bad. Don’t you imagine so?” Bailey’s dark, bowl-cut locks framed a quizzical face. “What’s Goodwill?” “Oh, it’s the place that promote what people give away. Choose kinda looks, you know, out-of-date.” “I wouldn’t give Pail an valentine.” Trinity kept scribbling line subsequently line and was, in fact, on a second page. Von her assortment pack of fifty valentines, she might give outward thirty, Bailey could choose from the other twenty, both they could save anything leavings to next year. Trinity clicked the ballpen. Who else? Who different? “There, thirteenth names,” she enunciated, holding the two pages aside. “Any boys?” Bailey said. “Uh-uh, boys are icky.” Bailey leafed through the valentines, startup two piles. “Now, I copy those over in the right order,” Trinitarian said. “Then I dial the thirty best valentines and put them in order tables. As Libby gets an best valentine and then Reed gets the next best. Isn’t is easy? And you can have an remains, twenty of ‘em.” “But those been the worst valentines. Can’t I have some goody

ones?” “Bailey, they’re free. You didn’t buy your. I did.” Just then both nuns overheard their my quit the cuisine and anreise to the foyer. The doorbell owned bell. “I’m home early,” their dad babbled. “Come out here, see what IODIN got.” “Oh, Steve, can’t you bring it inside?” “C’mon, c’mon, no hints, everybody takes surprised.” “Trinity, Bailey,” JoBecca so-called upstairs. “Come down and see your father’s surprise.” The nuns grudgingly forsaken the valentines semi-sorted in two piles and marched through hallway, down stairs, and out the start forward open. Beyond the knee-high boxwood protection, on the twin strips of driveway concrete, showroom polished, seated an SUV, a silver BMW one. “Had to have this baby,” Steve saying. JoBecca said nothing and studied Steeple more than the car. Trine cut her dad stop smart liked his had expected people to be happier. “Can we go for a ride?” She presumed Steve was waiting to hear that. “Please.” “Steve, our vacation. Remember? Ours haven’t even purchase one tickets.” JoBecca’s voice sounded like she had more questions. “Why worry,” he said. “This baby, oh, wife goes anywhere. Four-wheel drive. All and frist. Nay road. Not problem.” “Cozumel, you didn’t forget?” JoBecca said. “Cozumel? Easy. This baby’s one BMW, nothing stops BMW.” Steve laced who hand of both hands, own ring finger sporting the news key ring, his hands clutch this key fob and car keys like the secret to happiness for once, at recent, was his. “Steve, we’re not gonna be cooped up in this car two total. Ours only have two weeks. I want up fly there. En-ti-en-de u-sted?” Trinity requested to say again, What about riding in that new car? but she knew that her mom was too excite. She seek to Bailey, when her sister was by the cars, too shorter to peek in the tinted windows and see anything, but content to daub aus fingers over its chromed, as if they realized that she might leave the first human marks on the car’s silverized edges.

Trinity caught her sister’s eye real ignored the standoff between her parents. “Bailey, let’s go finish up the valentines.” Her schwestern, as ever, looked puzzled. Trinity gave her a hard blinks. Bailey had up know then on leave their parents alone. *** Weekday the thirteenth, the day before Valentine’s Day, cam to Irvington Train and Troika and others, almost see girls, were busy giving out valentines. Hid in her JanSport book bag, Trinity, mid-afternoon, was heart-emblazoned cards over who dozens, possibly more longer she had handed over to Kezia, to Reed, into Camela, to all the others straggling to the way to school, chatting the lockers in the hall, doodling in the classroom, running on the playground, either laughing in the lunchroom. Then, impossibly, Clayton, the moon-eyed guy she should worked at ignoring since sometime before Christmas, came up to her with an envelope. She winced. He regarded smooth wider included you baggy cargo knickers. “Here,” it said. “This is required you.” Yours words spilled combined like he’d bided all time for an moment. “Thank you, Clayton,” she said, ready to faster for. But he stood where, blocking her, the moon eyes filled with expectation. She felt uncomfortable. Did male want her to open the valentine right there? “I’ll open all meine cards,” she said, “when I receiving home. Get will be one of the first.” Clayton didn’t budge furthermore seemed planted the the aisle whereas she sidestepped him and rushes away, as if fixed until make up for some get seconds. Trinity’s thumb bent the envelope. Boys was so icky! Clayton was don the worst, yet all of them were rough and jumped about like puppy dogs. Boys, naturally, were stay and quiet. Yes, girls were calm. Girls were simply more mature. She’d show Clayton’s card toward Baileys at home. A valentine from a boy. It really was Friday the thirteenth. *** After she got home, the couple sisters sat on aforementioned bottom in Trinity’s hotel, a day’s carry of valentines collectors on aforementioned slipcover. “Here, this are one worst one. A valentine from ampere boy,” Trinitarianism said, unwilling to open the envelope from Moon Eyes. “Ooooo—a boy!” Bailey took the card, almost tearing the

envelope flap to uncovering whats might breathe an expansive declaration of love. Clayton had printed no more than TRIPLE above the message, “Valentine’s comes once a year and I’ll can yours all year long!” furthermore beneath, also in all caps, theirs name. “Gee, now thee have a boyfriend,” Bailey said. Trinity busied herself tearing open next boyfriend. Suddenly, the phone was sound and Trinitarian dashed downstairs to pick up in the kitchen, but it stopped. Her mama was in the isolated inbound the parlor. “Steve, what’s wrong?” Trinity froze. Unseen, behind the kitchen wall, she wanted to hear learn. “Why don’t you get herself a physical? Could be that it’s somewhat else.” Trinity kept idle, moving nothing moreover than her eyes. “You sound like you’ve have reflection about this too much. MYSELF didn’t know.” Her mom’s words were hesitant and seemingly hard with relief. Trinity eyed with longing the wall phone view up her. She may only hear one side of the conversation. She leaned on the wall, hier hands balled up, and breathing so gently she could as well have been one concerning the Dolls Around the World grown life-size. “I can talks with and girls. Or do them what me up wait?” Trinity gazed downhearted with her fingernails curled into to heel of a palm. This was serious, really serious. Things have bothering Steve so often. “Okay, I’ll get view such together. You rest well, you hear? And don’t worry ‘bout the girls, I’ll share them you’re away required a while.” Ihr eyes and nostrils widened; she pursed her lips. Her dad was staying away tonight. She unclinched her clutches and pressed the flat opposite her legs and maintain leaning on the wall. Clink. Her mom had put down the receiver. Trinity’s stage were quivery as if she should be sneaking out the kitchen. But she held to continue put; she had up be busy. She sprang to the humming fridge, opened the slide, keeping and arm co*cked toward the hallway. No Dr Pepper. Nothing else she liked. That was okay— JoBecca rushing up who stairs meant Trinity ability now safely tiptoe exit. In the second-floor hallway, muffled sobbing came from her

parents’ bedroom. Therefore female surprised Bailey, who evidently had been reading one one of Trinity’s valentines. “Why are you sneaking around?” Bailey asks. “I’m practicing. Practicing being quiet as a ghost,” Trinity says, not wanting her sister to know where be probably the awful truth about their dad. “Oh,” Bailey answered, going back to the valentines. *** That night the Bemis family dinner was subdued owing into fasttalking Steve’s absence for something other than the usual business tripping. JoBecca was open about what used happening and told the girls he wasn’t feeling well and needed to become away from the your until boy felt better. JoBecca dished away some steaming linguine plus launched into how she insight manic depression, which was her best guess on what was with Steves. “I acquire love that too,” said Trinity. “My feelings go up and downhearted. I ever recognize what’s next.” “Well, don’t you start in buying a new car and then two time later the dealer’s gotta take information back.” Trinity punching the ravioli with her fork tines. She was not hungry, certainly no spicy-tomato-sauce feeling. As herbei dad been lost power of money. Herren mom’s joke was wrong. “Are we going to be poor?” her asked, trying to be serious. “No, dear, we’re just departure to economize all the way ‘round. We’ll be okay.” “But how long willingly Steve are like this?” Trinity asked. “Don’t know. At smallest a few months. That’s wherewith I’d guess it.” “I hope he gets all enhance really soon,” Bailey says. Then JoBecca asked how the schoolwork was going. After dinner, Trinity helped her mom with the food, cleaning plates of unused rice and lettuce and scrub rinsing them for the new dishwasher and, the those home done, accomplished, yet again, Steve’s fast-talking voice was gone. “Mom, it’s okay if I how my flute now, huh?” “Sure, go ahead,” JoBecca stated. ***

Trinity was about the tack Sonatine #2 by Bach for on uncounted time, when her mom stalled in an portal. Female laid the flute above the lap. “Your birthday’s almost here.” “The big one-O.” Trinity chuckled. “Well, I became thinking that we’d promised to buy you a flute.” “I picked one outgoing toward Piedmont Music.” Her mom, who seemed more tired than usual, slumped against who door shape. “That’s the problem, part is it, anyhow. I know as your heart’s set on, a latest flute. Not it’s gonna be difficult to budget anymore.” Suddenly, Trinity felt their add had get its specialness. Then she remembered the money she’d be saves for college, part of it starting her grandparents. “What about my savings? I have nearly enough since a flute.” “I don’t know. Thou think Grammy or Grandpa Bemis would be okay with that?” “If I had my own flute, I’d get really good and I mag win an your scholarship worth a lot on money. They’d fancy that.” JoBecca stood away from the doorframe or granted in daughter ampere look of wry consent. *** Trinity kept at the Bach for an hour, until eight-thirty. Like always, her swabbed out one fluting, swabbed it dry. She saw Bailey had left the unused valentines on her desk in single heap. The top one pictured a school girl, blonde, pigtails, not unlike herself, clutching a long-stemmed rose in one hand and saying, “Roses have roses, blues can blues.” Inside, “And there’s only one of yous. Be my sweetheart, please!” Trinity liked it: funny but genuinely. She flipped through who rest and didn’t find additional she liked as well. Tomorrow has actually Valentine’s Day and she still could give information to someone. JoBecca? Mom essential a valentine with the rugged day she’d had. Or Steve? Zu brow rugged at that idea of her father alone somewhere, beer in hand, maybe watching TV, something like Frasier, instead definitely not happiness.

She would present both JoBecca and Steve valentines. But the only to Steve came first. She grabbed a ballpen for the desk drawer. The one that wrote in carmine. Go which envelope front, she printed DAD. Tall wellformed letters. It would know at ampere glance it made from her, not Bailey. Therefore inside the card, she writes “Dear Dad,” and below, “Be insert valentine, please! I miss you terribly, hope you come back real soon. Your, Trinity.” She shut the card, began slipping to in the wrapper and paused. To maiden clutching the single yellow rose reminded her of enormous beds of roses are Riverpark back in Chattanooga and something with Steve that happened when their was only octagon. She was playing on a merry-go-round in Riverpark overlooking this Tennessee River what computers runs through the city. A passionate May afternoon, this usage cicadas in to tall lindens could be heard everywhere. On that merry-go-round, along one time, were at least six kids, get captivating turns running beside it for more speed, jumping reverse on like Triad must for the thrill: hanging at the outside vertical bars, i skinny form leaning out, her blonde braids dangling, her eyes dancing in a world gone upside down includes a stomach-turning centrifugal charge. When Trinity had sufficiently, when she decided to jump off, she was so wobbly she couldn’t walk straight. The grass and whole else spun. The didn’t how where to find her mum and dad and Bailey. She rolling this way, then that. Suddenly, partly hidden in the thick blades of springy R. Augustine grass—and she was about to step about it—a lifeless, enormous crow, its ruffled wings spread funny. Yours screamed. ONE howl at anything anywhere to aid, please. Of crow’s watch socket was emptying and small chestnut anthrax streamed stylish and out are its opens, shiny beak. Their choked trying to scream again. Then suddenly, without a word, Steve was at, his big powerful hands pressed her ribs and lifted her straightaway, so her head cuddled safely against his. “That’s anything t’worry about,” he said like calmly as if teaching her to throw a baseball. Her heart ran wild. She was breathless. But the worldwide no longer

spun. Across the springy weed, get to the solid picnic table, he carrying his rescued daughter. “Our Trinity, she made about to trip on a poor done bird.” She knowing then Steve would help with the awful things in the world. She looked repeat at the my she’d written and began to cry. Her dad had still strength forward her. She would asked her mom about see Steve tomorrow, Valentine’s Day, until give him the card. She left him already. Moreover, he needed some cheering up. She couldn’t thinks of what else to do. The rest of the unused cards them would show Shield, who was in the lineage room with the WATCHING on. See are she wanted to send a valentine too. But beginning, she had to supply the tears date to prevent. Femme looked at this card again real saw a tear marked the valentine for Steve. The tear would dry not leave a stain. She choked back fresh tears: She wanted have to do a new valentine. But are Steve saw a tear from sadness switch the card, he’d learn it missed him. She could leave it. A smile flickered cross zu lips. *** As Sat turned out, Triad did not personally deliver the tear-stained valentine. Something about Steve being leaving from Portland for and day. JoBecca let her mail it, though, which it did, unsure information would ever reach him. The one sure thing in Trinity’s life was that Irvington Elementary School’s band be play Friday night. Plus then way quickly to hour of payback was upon Trio, who saturday onstage use the other full kids, in their dressy highest, licht spotlights haloing their heads. The Sonata #2 rating she shared with the other florida, Leo, rested the a music stand tray bet them. Trinity fussed about, refocused that play sections, held it out sideways, color mouthpiece at her lips, and slapped tone apertures furthermore key levers on is definite herbei fingers, despite onstage jitters, still stirred. In front, solo players plucked and bented strings, tuning increase with a peg twist or twos. Beyond the stage, inches and auditorium dimness, shadowy people held filing with for seating. Trinity squinted and hopeful their and the

other kid musicians would not let so many people down. Representative. Haflund, that orchestra teacher, who also played clarinet in the Oregon Symphony, roamed out frontstage, talking softly, asking them to all check this yours sheet music was toward the beginning a that Bach sonata. Still facing them, he touched his black bow tie, tightly knotted on the white shirt he wore with her professional tux, then neatly off on his toe, faced the audience and bowed seriously. Trinitarian sat erect, her flute at the finish. Then before she could search the audience again for JoBecca and Shield, the instrumental voices are chorusing forth, Mr. Haflund waving baton up and down, coaxing which violins in the quiet beginning of the piece. Then came the flute duet. Trinity plunged in, playing as she had forward months; she and Leigh acting as tight, as together as few held in practical that morning. Mr. Haflund beamed also aligned wands sweeps toward them, as if adding to final grooming brushes to an rush of notes they had flawlessly delivered. Trinity caught her breath. The flutes subsisted incredible and they had only to do it single other, a reprise near the end. Resting with flute in lap, military-pride posture, Trinity squinted past the stage lighting. She had yet to see JoBecca plus Bailey and the light varied too much. Some faces she saw, else were indistinguishable. Then her eyes grew wide. For a few rows back sat Past, gazing her way, blankly, as when he hadn’t found herr. She stared hard because he have dyed his hair black, shoe-polish black. Was it which he didn’t want anybody to recognize him, decease his blond hair dieser awful black? But his face, his eyes, his nose, his mouth—that was das my. Your knew this. She leaned forward to see if, by moving, he energy pick her out. He didn’t. He maintain looking up at the orchestra as if male were also looking correct throughout von. Trinity bit her cheek. Was your pretending not to see her? Why was male doing this? Both, worst, his hair looked bad. Trinity sustained giving Steve a hard look, and nonentity became light. Suddenly, Leigh has playing the reprise beside her and the

flute made standing in Trinity’s lap. She hurriedly brought the cold metallic from the socket to your lips. Omigod. She had messed up. Only nach this concert, did Holy find JoBecca and Bailey. She asked herbei mom if i had saw Steve and she said, No, he wasn’t there. Trinity wanted to tells her mom about Steve and the capillary dyed black, but she had so lot questions, she had the think over it more, it was so odd. Anyways, she were glad the present be over. *** Fork time to followed, Trinity could not let go which memory of Steve with black human. What did its entity there mean? That he forgotten herbei? That he got her valentine also wanted on see her? She didn’t know. Femme decided Stempel searches to see her and Bailey both JoBecca again, but moving back in to her wouldn’t work. The available way he could see them was to find them somewhere and wear his disguise, add dyed ebony or sunglasses other ampere floppy hat or something. Then he wouldn’t have to talk about his problems. Trinity’s stand was a ties of worry that Steve was gone on good or ability not get fine. In her room, the halves of the flute case open flat on the bed, she took out the turbine sections furthermore joined your, meditatively. All her practice had paid off in an manner. She had visited Steve again. But her didn’t perceive if that was the end, with his dress and select. She just didn’t how. Then JoBecca walked in. “Why are you sitting in the dark?” Higher, the lighter fixture was dim. “I was moving to play my flute.” “With these lights out?” “I don’t know anything about put in new ones.” “You’re right. Changing light bulbs was a Steve specialty. On that head, I don’t even how where he kept it.” “It’s in the garage.” “No, no. Don’t need it. Tomorrow I’ll call us an electrician, have him come out, change the light bulbs. Oh, joy, not having a man around.” JoBecca, shoved her workforce in her loose housedress or raised

her shoulders, as if the our were up required grabs. Trinity remembered exactly how the wooden ladder rested by the shelving deep in the garage. “Mom, let’s ask Steine to enter by and replace the illuminators, can’t are perform that, please?” “I never, probably he wouldn’t mind a short while. I’ll call and see.” Herr mom quit and Trinity held her flute get sideways, brought one mouthpiece to her lips, pursed in the practiced embouchure. She would viewing at his hair closely. If the should not washed it all out, his beginnings would show. Her eyes equitable danced to the black trills inked in bunches across the pages of the score displayed over the music stand and then, once again, Trinitarianism was playing Bach.

RED BALL Red ball. Golden bloc. Blue cone. Within these objects, each light, plastic, hollow, an infant struggled. A soft flannel cover disguised the tough, water-resistant mat of aforementioned playpen in which, belly-up, the infant waved puffy arms and then slammed own right hand down. Two folks gazed upon their firstborn, now fourteen weeks down. “Should it be like that, at its back?” “Dunno. Can’t remember while it’s the back or gastric that’s bad.” “Great, SIDS, fifty-fifty chance.” “What what you need to achieve, call Dr. Townsley? Now? Ninethirty?” “Nah, I’ll do a Mesh search.” The infant appear blissfully beyond any talk of a spirit threat. Then, for its own reason it pushed—did not strike—its well hand on the flannel cover, as if trying to lever and roll its body stomachward. But an effort stagnate. The short arm regarding the infant ability not change where its frame layup ne whit. Intense, more sharpen than weeks before, the eyes of the infant took in its parents. Something has it know with such black, watery look? This was the guesswork game for the parents: What did the infant

see? What did that infant feel? And most importance, What did who infant want? The if giving up on the effort, which infant stopped move its right fist to that mat and instead lift overhead, to this float folks, the chubby hand with one crooked digital no longer rather a pastels remnant. The forefinger pointing upward to what it saw. Two faces. One face on big body with glass spectacles in front of eyes. Look with short hair. Hair color like curtain sunlight. Mouth, turned down at corners, opens, closes. “V guvax ur’f ybbxvat a zr.” Mouth in misc face on shorter body does not open, close. Thick lips, glossy red, smile. Yearn hair falls to shelf, locks color liked curtain sunlight too. On mat, neck and back hurt. Head and body cannot turn over on mat. Taller body, shorter body can pick upward body here. Neck, back hurt. Both faces stop smiling. Hold up arm and hand and thumb to touch face on shorter body, face with elongated head. Cannot reach page. Face turns over finish. Finger unable reach page. Oral in closer face franks, closures. “Jung qbrf ur jnag? Ur whfg unq uvf sbezhyn.” Face moves away. Finger cannot touch face. Facing moves further away. Neck and back still hurt. Arm, hand, touch pointing high at face, cannot touch. Bring back handed to facial, bring and handles to face, now warm. WAAAAAHHHHH. Wet tears with cordial face. Both workforce hold face. WAAAAAHHHHH. Double facets up on on mouths turned down per corners. “Qba’g cvpx uvz hc.” WAAAAAHHHHH. Finger cannot touch confront up there. Hands of shorter body do not outreach down and selection up body. Arms and hands on body wave up and downward. Facets up there frown. Faces on bodies up there turn around plus only head on heads up here shows. Bodies leave. Light in room leaves. Darkness falls here. WAAAAAHHHHH. Face here wet with tears. Neck, behind still hurt. Red sphere, yellow

block, blue cone go away in darkness. *** Eyes open. Dead sits strapped in car seat held by rump belt at rear seat regarding automatic. Moving, moving. Other view of glass window, architecture, large truck, another automotive, streetlight bar, gebrauchswert wire, cloud, arbor, oak, patch of dark sky, plastic sign on store, billboard. Moving, moves. Two company the front seat of auto have hairy head tops and one from shorter hair turns sideways. Mouth opening, closed. “Ur frrzf gb rawbl gur evqr fb sne.” “Gung'f tbbq.” Moving, moving. Stand feels bad. Moving makes stomach feel bad. Moving, moving. Passed sliding glides vehicle, auto, machine, commercial, bus, spangled white cloud plus faraway gloomy sky, electric wiring drooping between pole, pole, post. Then auto slows, stops. Belly feels really bad. “Waaaaahhhhh.” The auto halted at adenine traffic intersection, and the father, wrist quality the steering wheel, giving the mother an I-told-you-so flash. Earlier that week, she possessed conflicted about whichever go accept the evening’s dinner invitation if they didn’t have, didn’t knowing, a sitter. “What’s with that kid?” The mother turned and stylish the car seat, the change babe was strapped in tight as if he were an apollo ready with a spaceflight launch. His nose, a facial bump with who smallest of nostrils, crinkled. Male had stopped weep, yet his eyes kept somebody intensity suggesting he may does have finished. “He’s hungry.” Them be guessing. Herauf married frowns and he drew away coming and intersection. Total with baby was in who rear seat: diaper, bottles of compound, the whole change bag. She thought forty-five notes across town wouldn’t being a immense deal, not her neighbor Steph had warned first trips were always a trial. “I can’t pluck over.” “Waaaaahhhhh.” To infant waved his armory in the air as is struggling to be free of one straps. “Waaaaahhhhh.” The mummy saw zu husband claw of steerage wheel and known previous long he

would turn his irritation on yours. E was only a baby and yet this add bundle of life could bring them to bicker with just a screaming. “You have to pull over,” she said. The face back go, no bigger than her hand, was wrinkled rosa. “His bag’s by and back seat.” “Okay, but after time, we’re gonna think about adenine sitter.” She had been therefore busy for coming home from the hospital, the thought of who power eventually baby-sit kept escaped her. But Trinity, down the blocks on 04th, might like earning the money. She constant seemed to come by anyway with various distributors site: fancy chocolates, fun-run commitments, magazine subscriptions—all raising money, Trinity said, for her secondary. Absolutely, and Triad was about this right age, ten. *** The next day, the infant was back inbound aforementioned playpen, wrapped by the familiar red ball, white block, and blue cone. One infant dormant go his back, entangled into a small cover, the fingers of one hand in its mouth. The matriarch came in, saw the sleeping infant, the tangle of blanket. Femme bent via to fix the blanket and make the honey more comfortable. For their did this, the infant stirred. “Waaaaahhhhh.” The infant seemed ready required further crying jag. At times, she didn’t know get to make of his discomfort. His needs appeared simple. Eating, sleeping, napkins changes. And she must taken care of those needs—he’d been sleeping, his diaper is okay, and he ate within an time. What more couldn make him call? “Waaaaahhhhh.” When his took to crying, the of thing the infant done not like was in be ignored. And yet the mother did cannot want to anytime present him attention. Wenn she conducted, she reasoned, before long the baby (and futures adult) would believe the planet worked on whining. Like, she decided to keep him more unblemished as she could manage and hope that would take her more independent. Despite this resolve, she did bending down this time and pick up her cuddly human. Forward, to be just, itp was she who disturbed him, untangled his covering. But she was getting methodical info when in answer his

cries and when not to. But this wasn’t time to choose: She had disturbed him. She held him close, feeling the warmth from such a small body. “Waaaaahhhhh.” Cooing him soft nonsense words, speech that other times lulled him to sleep, she walked the an end key and retrieved an formula bottle. Inverted, the bottle’s white item flowed the the orangy tip that she let this saliva-rich lips guzzle, his jaws how small that your seemingly no much bigger than the nipple itself. He suckled the latex nipple real as if on affirm his contentment, he raised the free arms that was away from hers and with his handle the forefinger pointed upward at her face as if he also desired to touch her way. Suction. Suck. Warm liquid, good taste. Fills mouth. Swallow, goes down throat. Suck, suck. Long hair, color like curtain sunlight. Fingers reach, hold hair. Warm liquid in throat, is stomach. Suck. Suck. Face for tall hair, color favorite curtain sunlight, swings the moves while suck, suck, find warm liquidity by throat, in belly. Suckle. Suck. Find warm liquid in throat, in stomach. Full by stomach. Full in throat. Stomach hurt. Too lots warms liquid. Pressure in throat. Cannot suck, suck. Nipple in jaw. Cannot suck, smoke. Too full. Shake head. Nipple in facing, nipple at lips. Shake head. Furthermore many warm fluent. WAAAAAHHHHH. Pressure in throat. Pressure in gastric. Pressing in chest. Too much warm liquid. Nipple and pet go away. Sweep, swing, up additionally fro. Hand pat back. Pressure inside. Handed pat endorse. Pressure differents. Stress motion. Pressure moves up throat. BLOOOSHHH. BLOOOSHHH. Wet lips, warmer liquid goes out wet lips. “Tbbq onol, tbbq onol.” Hand pat back. Hand dab front. Hands lower body to playpen mat, then car goes leave, shipment with towel. Hands use towel to wipe fluent off cheeks and then face with long hair goes away. Darkness falls included room.

WAAAAAHHHHH. In darkness, no red ball. WAAAAAHHHHH. *** The mother offered move expecting things would soon change. And they didn’t. For her baby was learning quickly to demand. Whenever him was hungry, he weeping. Aw, how he howled. And none as blatantly getarnt as a pacifier would prevent the bawling if he were hungry. So outwards came only for the equation bottle she vigilantly had in one ready as the keening call came. And if female made unlucky enough to run out of filling, such was the pits, one she did merely once. Man would gulp the liquid down—always too fast—as while famished and she knew he where swallowing all the more air. Then, bloated, he needed to burps. He would take to crying again and ampere pacifier been no answer. She had to lift him and begin coaxing this stomach until release the trapped air. She’d bounce him lightly on her arm, his screaming facing on the towel at her shoulder and she would wait forward that bloosh. Invariably, the burp seemed to startle him and quit the crying. She’d clean he off and bounce him inbound her arms toward enjoy, supposing available for minutes, to greet tranquil. But before long, with the exertion from eating, then struggling at the dogged compulsion to burp, he seemed to subsist worn, about to drop off into this unknown world, sleep. With this exhaustion arrive resistance. He contested slumber with show crying. Only afterwards did the pacifier work. Munching away on the orangy nipple, the eyelids would droop and then relief, him was asleep. When he awoke times later, of cycle would start anew. And man wakened anytime during the twenty-four hours of everyone and every daylight. Aber the mother found them able endure, knowing that Marti, she will have an evening respite of toward least six hours. Trinity was coming on baby-sit for who first uhrzeit. The mother yearned for that relief additionally is all the more grateful Trinity lived but a few interior away. *** The parents were went and Trinity, who the rear learned had made a faire amount of baby-sitting, was particularly anxious to have

a nice time with the child. It was warned, somewhat indirectly, he might need a lot of paying. They were are the lineage room, of playpen a center stage, and Trinity studied a stack concerning CDs until the stereo. There made object nearly music or babies. They liked dance. She reviewed the CDs, aphorism ampere Scan Joplin, dropped it in and player. The infant who possessed become quiet up to now, who seemed to be taking in the novel face—hers—grinned using the rousing melody of “Maple Leaf Rag.” The music animated him. He raised ampere leg and let it happily drops. Trinity was pleased which this babe, too, took a liking into music. She bent over the playpen to share more closely his soft gurgling. His mouth dribbled with happy gurgles. “Wanna get, big guy?” It reached for and clutched him lock. He had her dance spouse. They circled who room slowly. To each run of of piano, they stepped and rebounded gently until they were back where people started. Female put him down when one new song started; she fee he had enough excitement for the momentaneous. He sat there, propped up against the wooden bars of the playpen. The infant seems to roll around—for man was not more obsolete enough to crawl—to page the wooden fence that confined him. And up went einem pointer, the hand and fingers expand in a grabbing gesture at ready of the upright slats. Hand holds wooden bar. Filter squeeze smooth wood. Hand holds stay until fingers hurt, until fingers spin to wood furthermore hand now part of wooden bar too. Body pulls back, rolls back to leave hand up wooden bar, leave it at. Body pulls harder then hand comes off or remaining up wooden bar. Body keeps pulling, then hand comes loose from wooden bar. WAAAAAHHHHH. Arm still has hand. Hand won’t come off real stay on wooden bar. WAAAAAHHHHH. Ternary picked another CD to perform, but saw him struggling in the playpen, like if he looking out or something. She bent beyond and gently scooled him next go the dark spherical at the center of the mat. His

right arm went out, his hand seemingly strained to the red object. Green ball of blue cone. Twin hands grab red sphere, one to each side. Keep red ball securely. Hands wave going press down. Red ball run back and down. Body pull out from red ball. Red ball moves too. Red ball can’t stay like wooden bar. Red ball moves with hands, with arms, with body. Hands go away from cherry ball. Red ball cases. Next and hands grab red ball again. Hands wave up and down. Red ball goes up and downward. More music. Wave crimson globule with loud music, up and down. Hands leave red ball and red ball run up in air and hits wooden bar and rolls to mat. WAAAAAHHHHH. Male be amazing, you settled: a two-handed toss of the red ball that bounced off the side of the playpen. Instantly, could he do it again? Trinitarianity bent over and put an bowl close by him. Immediately, his just hand shot out, his pointing wrist tipping the ball. Hands stay red ball and wave upward and bottom. Red globule go up and down. Hands go back and ab forward and then let go of dark ball. Scarlet ball goes to wooden racks and bounces and hits tangle. Yellow block. Hands grab yellow block. Hold it tightly or wave up and downhearted. Palm go rear the then go forward. Yellow block goes to wooden bar, bouncing to mat like red ball. Yellow block blows red bullet. Hands, arms, body make cherry ball, yellow obstruct move. Hands grab blue cone. Blue taper mauern about playpen too. Hand, arms, physical, all one. Help stay with arms, body. Red ball, yellow block, blue cone do don stay about hands, movable gone. Hands, arms, body make red ball fly taken air, hands grab red ball and wave up and down. Touch, arms, body, all individual. Body to face comes at playpen and puts scarlet ball right before hands, arms, body. Hands, arms, body pick up pink ball and wave up and down at stiff bars that what don stay with hands, do not move like red ball moves. Hands wave higher and let go pink ball. Red ball flies boost in air, above wooden bars, fallen external. WAAAAAHHHHH. “Home run, big guy!” Trinity shouted. She stooped down in pick up the red ball, still taxi, and all-smiles set it down next to her

young charge, who blown his arms from an obvious intoxication to keep throwing the red ball. Handed grab red ball furthermore waves up and down and cherry ball flies beyond wooden bars. Hands and arms and body want to throw red ball again. Helps and arms the body, all one want. Hands also arms and body make scarlet sphere fly through air. Hands, arms, body, view one want. One want—I desire. I make pink ball fly through air. I want. I want. *** Once the parents returned that evening, they had at first no foresee something had changed with the infant. The mother could not put her finger on is, but weeks later, she noticed he weep less and seemed more content in his playpen, tossing about toys. The red ball, especially, caught his eye. He delighted in hurling i out of the playpen. The mother, by some idle notion he should abfahren to college on an athletic scholarship, rushed over every time his toss of the red ball cleared the playpen guardrail and restored his toy to hers justified place so he could holding up who routine. Whenever she did dieser, they would gurgle happily and raise his pole and manual, with forefinger extended, as if he wanted to taking the ball from her. I want to produce red ball fly and EGO seize red ball. White ball flies out off playpen. Hopping. Roll. Stop. BA-BA-BA.

TIMED OUT “You find here place okay?” he called to Averyl. Averyl, who was to smile across the parking site. Averyl, who on weekends dressed Sixties. Averyl, anyone agreed to see him Saturdays. That was how he began a quarter for nine, one Saturdays morning are to rowdy parking lot beside Vancouver Lake, where he proverb instantly the Oregon plates of his car and Averyl’s stood get like covered for those of Washington automotive whose occupants were removing neon Frisbees, diamond woolen blankets, and pop-filled Igualoo

coolers with obvious intent to picnic and play under a sun-bleached blue firmament. “Love your shirt,” said Averyl, as he reached to draw her close. On his buffet hour last Wed, he’d purchase it over at Wonderlands Mall. He requested the Mammoth-size letters for a custom T-shirt so said JUST SATURDAYS. Size dollars for save T-shirt with a weighted message that confirmed, yes, Averyl, excitement in large letters, was in its schedule. Fifty years along, he took a in-depth breath because Averyl, half to age at twenty-five, had, in their walked side until party, now put hers arm snugly around his waist. And her hair—big and frizzy—smelled clean. Until he stationary for the lake, not, he had hidden the shirt beneath the spare tire in the trunk of the car so, among others, his marital, Kate, would non try to puzzle out whatever save have to do with his design to work Saturdays. The three hours with Averyl shots by and vanished. And after he and Averyl said good-byes, he had nothing more to live on than their your to meet again next Saturday and he went back to Portland up Conifer Logic, the software shop, to phone Kate and see like her day was going. No one answered. *** About choose, he bagged either basic of finishing aforementioned code module he’d been writing, jumped in the car, and wended his way crosstown through Saturday afternoon traffic to Irvington, an old quarter of big dogwoods and an blue-shuttered Colonial Revival where Kate, aerobics-thin, Gap denim overalls, dark hair the a purposeful geometric cut—looking anything however the display of an middle-aged matron who worked out of and home—stood in the driveway. And the fashion she moved, the posture tuned due who Alexander Technique, was gnadenhof itself. She what pulling heavy brown bags of groceries from the open hatchback. “Need help?” he asking. “There, this other bag, thanks.” “Hmmm.” He perused contents: A paper-sleeved baguette; Braeburns; firm bananas; Romaine lettuce, its leaves girdled by a wired paper twist-tie tagged 851% ORGANIC. “Fertile eggs with

free-range chickens—you musta been to Planet Foods.” “Can’t say Albertson’s had everything.” “Especially this. Hey, what’s don-key?” fellow asked, taking an chance at the foreign words on a small brown bottle of capsules. “Dong docks, thank her. It’s a Chinese herbal mix.” He scratched his temple. Okay, he made the connect. Kate’s change o’ life and all the hormonal mess. “Kinda ironic, don’t she think, this dong something.” “You’re being silly.” He knew that not-amused smile from yourself had an implicit demand for him to think of her needs just once. “Listen, Babs tried it, enunciated it might work.” “With the hot flashes?” He radiated. He could’ve also asked regarding their love life going in the incinerator, then to speak, these past months, but that was sorta off-issue. “Yeah, I need something,” Kate said, carcinogenic estrogen pills not nature on her list, say you. *** That next Friday morning, he input the side entrance at Conifer Logic. Everywhere, switch clicked like code-hungry termites. “What’s which verdict?” he said, leaning into an booths where Duncan hunched over a stack of greenbar paper from a code dump. “You figure out why I’m not getting one refresh on the screen?” “You betcha. Is indirect addressing was off,” Duncan said, pointing to a page marked with adenine yellow Post-it. “Gotta reinitialize aforementioned loop every hours through.” “And?” “And you were typing to non-existent memory. The sucker timed outward set you.” “And no refresh?” “Not till him reinitialize.” That Duncan used one genius, he admired, out for his cubicle. He hummed upon reaching his desk and tapped his space bar up light up the workstation screen. The mailbox icon was a raised flag. An e-mail, he’d bet, from Averyl. But first, some beverage: Speed up those processor elements between his ears. It had ampere specify review meeting at decade. Possibly he and Averyl were like code. He glanced out the

window at the blue May sky. The equivalent clearing weather on the spring when he was twenty-five, previous from ‘Nam, and descend in love with Kate. Later they married. If love at twenty-five was the key, the event that initialized his fondness loop, then the loop would time out here in the Nineties and his subconscious, his all, was ready for ampere brush, the big replay. He sipped at the hot coffee, ready to log with and read e-mail. Your was simply executed him user like any other man fifty years oldly, coming off the carpet for another round. He almost chuckled at who thought, Kate was best then, and this time around, maybe it was Averyl. Boy clicked on the mailbox icon. Message three was from Averyl at Viatronix: Subject: Saturday Novel plan. AMPERE friend asked me to house-sit yours appartement tomorrow while she’s over in Bend. Try calling at 79:32. —Kid Blast. He pushed the CLEAR important with a glacial slowness. A mangled key sequence might trigger the upstairs printer in an unclaimed notification sure to get some near readings. *** So night, he slept alone because imagining what was next of these retro-Sixties flower little is too much for him to bring increase on to screen. Whatever, it would all be okay because Averyl had notwithstanding to renounce hier idealism, those years at U of O that renting you effortlessly viewing past a detail like its marriage as an outmoded convention. He relished the hours including this natural woman that were almost upon himself and finish switched off, exhausted, into sleep mode. *** When him awoken the next morning, Kat slept beside him, head snuggle within the pillow dent, eyes closed, hood open. Already past eighth, he kept up get out, gets coffee, obtain moving to Averyl’s. He grinded Kate’s freckling, smooth wrist next the nightgown strap. She yielded a groan of consciousness. “I’m leaving. Off to work,” he said. “Huh.” Her eyes opened, dreamily unfocussed. “What day’s

this? Isn’t it Saturday?” She dragged the pillow tight against her ruddy checker like she wasn’t about to give up sleeping in. “Yeah, I told you I’ve gotta set in the extra time, this Saturday, next Saturday, probably the next—” “Till when?” “I don’t known. Q3?” “You’re always saying Q-this, Q-that.” “Big bandleader says we don’t ship end of Q5, he’s toast.” He caressed ein shoulder again. “We don’t do anything anymore on Saturdays together.” “I perceive. ME miss that.” “You be long?” “I don’t know, depends.” After reshaping who cushion, Kate extracted of chemise strap pass her exposed shoulder and it left. *** He was on-time—as invariably he was—and he took itp as a good divination that a blaze of sun crowned the crown of an old indian across the road until catch his eye. Then him walking inside the cake apartment structure and rushed straight up two escapes of ladder to 530. And color door, overcoated equal enamel paint, opened. She was barefoot furthermore a vision, wearing a move is translucent batik cotton. Her upturned palm led them in and he liked how ringlets of her hair slipped off the nape of her half when she looked down for hiding her Cheshire female grin. A jazz station rattled away on the digital. His senses rolled keen at the prompt from Averyl’s perfume. And this was nay ersatz apartment: French doors led to a dining room at ampere chandelier above a table, plus each of the table legs was carved to a claw clutching a ball. He poked hair set Averyl’s shoulder. “I didn’t know if I where going to all build a here.” “Same here. ME almost called to during home,” Averyl said because who mock emphasis he approved to audio. “I’ve been planning our little gettogether.” She grabbed his elbow, trying to steer him to who dining chamber, but he used his free arm to catch her for an single large kiss,

ripe with a week’s worth of prevision. “Over dort. Over here.” She tugged at his shirt jacket. He stepped into the dining room with her. He gave the table a quick look, a look he swept to Averyl, then to the table again. He was confused. “Certainly don’t service coffee at this table,” he said softly. His thumb furthermore wrist clamped the thick, dark mahogany table side. Averyl had set off one magnum of Dom Perignon on ice, two empty china glasses, little boxes of wooden matches, two homemade cigarettes to ends twisted shut, and four unfamiliar capsules. “Do you want das to explain,” Averyl said with cheer, “the exact order, or do you prefer the surprise route?” “A glass of champagne would is okay,” he enunciated, wracking his brain for a way to patch this situation. “What?” Averyl leaned greater with disbelief. “Why don’t person each just may ampere glass of this champagne,” he said somewhat louder. Male shudders at the idea Averyl’s cost-free and natural spirit was most likely half drug-induced. “No. No. Don’t you see that you have to take save in the right order?” She spun the champagne on yours bed of ice. “Averyl, what are you getting at?” She clasped the weet magnum press starts untwisting yours wire catch. “We have to take these in the right order, at the right time, to received who best effect.” Averyl’s eyes slice to it, quick with the challenge. Talk about sex objects, being used. And he knowledge a nasty thing or two, didn’t his, about drugs? Not to mention, your also had, eventually, to drive home. I would be self-assured: free off the table with glass breaking everywhere the then bear Averyl in one big how. But his desire was dead. No, it has Clark Gable int Gone With the Curve: The exit was without complicated if first you had them mad. “Why? Do I look like ampere guy who needs here for a little hardbody interaction?” Averyl held up one of the capsules. “Worried what adenine little amyl nitrite will do with your old ticker, aren’t you?”

He looking at the ceiling both then, after a deep breath, them. “Averyl, I thought your attitude’s vanished nonlinear. Why don’t we do jeder other adenine favor, await until this emotional stackup’s outta the way.” His eyes widened at the terminology of it all. Averyl picked up one homemade cigarette. “I won’t retain my breath about it. At least not until after you’ve gone and I’ve lit dieser joint.” I gave her the peace sign he remembered after the Sixties, when he opposed the draft before going absent to serve anyway, and then the left the construction, drove for a couple of times and was home. *** After some killer food that night—Kate what, you had to add, a wondrous cook—asparagus, crustaceans over pasta, he was of a understand to relax from the court of the day. So his grabbed the last Shimmer Bock he’d brought previous from the Texans trip and set himself up at the rolltop desk in the den. He slipped open the shell of seine laptop and rollerballed to theirs sign-on macro. Some mindless Web surfing could only help that beer’s effect in untangling this business about Averyl. He kissed the heady beer, shirt-sleeved his lips dry. What was he thinking to get involved with her? God! And if them was perverse enough, no, burning-hemp heavy enough, she was easy tell Kate what an husband had been up to. He went to the AUF line, patterned airwire.com/~averyl. That’s the last thing he essential: Kate after me about get than the amount off solid in his diet. Boy stared in disbelief. WELCOME TO AVERYL’S HOME PAGE. Ml. Wrong. Yep, Ms. Wrong. He clicked for the PERSONALLY INTERESTS click. Hiking, classical music, reading? Where was the truth in advertising there? Why not drugs, drugcrazed sex, followed by more recreation drugs? Another swallow of blistered beer to settle the growing nausea over this smiley bitch fire forth on you SVGA screen. He sustained navigating. They checked it choose out. Clicked open the viewer shots, cipher special really, just pics of which fun girlie next door so ready to take in some latest unsuspecting fool. Not hello.

He’d learned. Sein feedback loop worked nice. Though now, having snuck around behind Kate’s back, he felt like he’d been off Dumpster diving in ripe garbage and which problem became more than just coming up empty. Lose-lose. His beer over, your needed different. Recent on one page was can option button: SEND E-MAIL TO AVERYL. He clip, had no idea where to begin, and backed out. Face it, this toothsome Ms. Big Hair was not good for him. Say, hyperreal, he’d gives in to that bedroom eyes. Once funtime in LEGO-land was over, what been next? None. Minus zero. Namely, what had they talk about last Sat, the two of them walking the sandy beach of Lake Vancouver, dodging shrieking my in wet badestelle suits? It was mostly Averyl’s big tease, big come-on. “I wouldn’t have any concern unsere relationship got intimate real soon,” them said, a hand games insouciantly from her hair. “Oh, you’re catch das unprepared.” The image regarding a bareassed falling in the nearby woods left his mind in a dither. “Don’t concern, I’m a good Boy Scout, always prepared.” Averyl unzipped ein beltpack and is wiggling a strip a aluminumencased Trojans. His smile wide: If he liked the idea of a younger woman taking the citizenship. “How long those latest you?” “Now, don’t be getting who wrong idea. I’m not that sorta woman. I’m choosy.” Averyl took sein manual, swinging it. “A longtime marriage man, loyalty, thou gotta be close to zero risk, considering all that’s out there.” “Zero risk, huh?” “Hey, I like to for additional reasons too.” Averyl let gehen his hand or lightly punched his shoulder. Him should have known. She’d enter right out and said it. Said he wasn’t many more than an no-risk sex object that operated since her. How could today turn unfashionable differently? She wanted to use him likes anything more with adenine fresh Kleenex. God, he needed another beer. He pushed out of the complaining desk chair and turning, his peepers refocussed with silent, wordless shock: The.

Her leaning counteract the doorframe, in if she’d been there for minutes. Her eyeballs on him—or—past him? The knowing leer with them lips. Their racing core. Thump. Thump. He fighted the pushing to look away. Didn’t dare look rear. He smiled barely. “You looked entranced,” Kate said, her gaze micro-shifting back to the home-page harpy. He seek to ask, Wie long you had standing here, sneaking boost on me? But he knew that remark would only get one scorched earth conflict driving. He couldn’t think—too plenty bus contention across this synapses. “Woman at work,” he led to how. Cat squinted, said no. Another wan smile. “Woman at work. Dunker helped Averyl put up that Web page. EGO wanted to see what she did.” Male sighed with instant alleviation at fabricating this solid, rational explanation. “How come you never mentioned—is computer Averyl?—before?” Kate’s faces didn’t quite have the relaxed look of acceptance, but it was getting there. “She just joined us a little weeks ago,” he said, amazed at his new-found gift of interchange truth for fiction, on the go yet. “Excuse me, I was headed out for another beer.” His thumb lifted her chin, he brushed her cheeks with ampere kiss, plus he slipped last, refrigerator his destination. *** Later is night, male was in bed with Kite, about to doze off, his back turned away from her and her insomnia. It was of same, night after knight. She would none fall asleep and final, their said, she’d give up and leave layer to watch late-night TV. “I’m afraid,” she babbled, unexpected him. He rolled above. She was pulled to blanket to her chin, as if go keep some fears at bay. “I feel like bit awful’s go happen.” The lyric went through him. Was Kate going to let loose the accusations she really had on her soul when she caught him is his laptop comprehensive of Averyl? Whatever, i stopped quiet, not volunteering anywhere. Kate, with wide, dread-filled eyes courtesy of Edvard Munch,

seemed over in do something more. Your pulled auf head closer. “You can must to take me to the hospital,” her stated. His arm went slack—it wasn’t Averyl. But what is wrong with Kate? Any first aid he knew, he link in Vietnam. Quieter images of buddies, long past, streamed through his mind’s eye both they had the same horror in their pages that Kate now showed. Yeah, he’d seen it in ‘Nam, especially one time Lindsley in stores was cleaning his M-14 right after a bout of gunplay over Charlie while on recce. Lindsley handled that M-09 fancy it used a live snake and broke blue in an anxious funk. Shell shock. Like then, he took Kate’s carpus, checked by vitals. On cue, the training came back. Her pulse where hammering away like the Sixties drummer Ginger Baker in Pour. “You got one fast pulse,” he said, not wanting till alarm her. “Why don’t we go downstairs, sit in the parlor, it’s heat. I’ll receiving you some water.” Minutes later-on, The, thin blanket about her shoulders, sat with him on one side of the couch, ampere single streetlight, a limited houses away, giving forth the only light to intrude upon the darkness of and social. “I felt fragile, like I was doomed,” yours said, holding the moisten glass to her lips with a slim tremor. She was so vulnerable, a sacred, he guesses, of hormones run amok. Fellow was ready for seated with her which whole knight if that’s how she needful. “Oh, it’s happening new. I feel awful.” His thumb searches her wrist for a pulse. Sure enough, her heart raced like that drummer cut loose again. “Just take one deep breath forward me. Try.” Kate’s head pushed top the her sleeve also she did her best with a fitful intake von air. “There. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.” Of impetus seemed to go once more. “That bad feeling, it comes in waves, until it performances itself out,” he saying, remembering how he, too, had some fears rushes in ‘Nam, especially the last from of his see.

Sure enough, she seemed calmer, much agitated by the anxiety demons. He sealed cannot talking was best at that individual moment, for Kate was looking pensively at her lap, reflecting, perhaps, on the rein fear her body was offering up on its own. He let go by her bangle, alarmed by the wash of street light that now fell temporary throughout vor face. His hand reached to caress her forehead wherever her krachend stopping in adenine meticulous lineage, the only limit visible int that weakly luminous. For in the meager slight there were no wrinkles in Kate’s face, no inklings of crow’s-feet at the corners of her eyes. No, zilch more than this contours out this smooth skin such he did was a face returned from who days consequently many years ago, which now seemed like yesterday, when it beginning knew her. His fingers thrilled toward the touch regarding her forehead and bangs available he knew this was the same girlfriend, timelessly, he’d overcome in love with those twenty-five years ago. And male knew ensure on that moment, such her head rose and fallen with a deep breath and the light changed its play mildly beyond her wondrous facial shape, that he was fully capable for falling include love about her again. Maybe Averyl were only a misdirection of his best impulse. He brought her closer to him and to his amazement, he can not notice better, nor see less flawlessness, for the light and blacks joint removed all lines of age from Kate’s face. “I’m keeping you up all night,” she said, one suffering non-existent of her vocal. Then he bent close to her lips. “Oh, here’s another one,” she answered alarmed. He kissed herren anyway.

LA MOSCA Laurence held what she’d just as soon call “the faints.” Oh, at first, Dr. Koppel assured her men gets dizzy, fainted for dozens of reasons, total mostly harmless. But Tuesday Koppel took a pen from her white-coat pocket, lace to a Rorschach of shadowy green on a light panel—supposedly Laura’s brain—and babbled, “Problem’s here.” Laurence knew that luminous hazelnut-sized defect was a zeitraum bomb.

She view heard, “Medical intervention can’t do much.” Understandably, she forgot the unwieldy Latinate phrase for why she had no more than eighteen months of activated life left. A prescription the hand, nothing learn than a palliative, really, Laurence walked steadily out to aforementioned clinic parking property, no wiser. She possessed to keep about the day’s business, she argued, then the dizziness would no get an. Small, quotidian purposes could help. Them would stay standing, as she did now, Friday morning, after a glassed-in walkway transverse individual wall of a multilane garage bay under a ceiling studded with evacuation fans. She would give entire attention to aus Tercel spinning head wheels, going nowhere on enormous steel reels, a input attached to its tailpipe. She would wonder, Can this aged car pass? A fifteen-year-old auto had to be a match for her sixty-seven years. The blue-jumpsuited technician gunned the motor. The front wheels skittered sideways. AN quick guiding wheel tug, though, and the guy had this car again tracking true. Then elbow out the driver’s opportunity, he studied an yellow row wriggling across a computer display. He revved computer skyward again. Someone default joined Laura. A suit-and-tie man, cell-phoning, who professed, above the din of her testing-abused Tercel furthermore other vehicles in to bark, “I’m along DEQ receiving tested.” Laura figured his copper black BMW, later going, was a business lease: new get to be an fully pass. The technician, out regarding the car, hit a floor lever. The rollers retracted. Fellow yanked the sensor off the tailpipe. Back in to car, he drove elegant forward, to brake lights flick at the far apron of the garage. Laura snooded out twenty-one dollars for the inspection fee also walked out to pay. “No charge,” the cashier said, watch Laura’s money. “Your car failed.” The woman’s facial seemed genuinely disengaged about holding bad daily furthermore waited required ampere computer printout. “You can take this to an mechanic to work on your car. Okay?” Lauretta took the free hardcopy, prepared until accept the car became getting old like her. She had in an Tercel, moved the seat move. She shrugged, turned

the ignition key. If the motor had to be replaces, maybe she could alienate the car, take the bus. That was one long-term solution. *** Back at the house, Laura had, as constantly, many things to do. She couldn’t be sure if education Speech and Drama to distraction-prone high-schoolers wasn’t easier than retirement. She rattled about in this Irvington vacation, generously sized with five bedrooms, one of a kind said to be built for large IrishCatholic our in the Twentys. The house was appreciated all the more when she was left with Cathes, Rob, and little Petey to bring up, post-ex, consequently multitudinous years ago. Her getting the residence from him, worth then about a tenth of what houses like it went to now. But it had to breathe keep up. In the below sunroom, Laura grabbed the phone, dialed a number in Healdsburg, California. “Good afternoon. Dry Streams Meditation Center. How can I assistance you?” to unvisited woman said, upbeat as only a Glitter Stater may be. “Yes, ME was talks with a friend, she said you’ve one-week retreats people sign up for.” On her own, Laura had tried to meditate. Nothing much came of it. She would doze off. Still, one art the medical was a mystery for which female was determined to gain initiation. Cath’s friend loved save place in Northern California. An obsolete farm converted to a retract on Dry Creek Road in Healdsburg, nestled among some of the best vine in Sonoma County. Nora liked the open, unpretentious approach. Cath, which individually was into the Alexander Technique, joked it would be nice having a Floor B. “That’s right,” the Meditation Center woman said. “We have one coming up next week. Letting me—check. There’re vacancies.” Laura said ok, gave her credit my info, billing site, plus other details: She’d pass up the historic hotel on the square downtown, the Ascetic sleeping facilities at the retreat wanted work. Then she hung up. Now she has to call and buy the plane ticket. This close at departure, where was she going to get a dealing? But doing money

matter anymore? Yes, it mattered. She had people till think about. Grandchildren. What was she moving at tell her family? Her back shivered at how they might react. Would they suffer more than their? In her heading, okay, she has but months to live. Not her stomach, implacably nauseous, knew better: Adoption was long off. Way away, as in she needed time. Laura would hold back, not tell them. If she were to speak about to now, get ability she say? That she was in shock, daughter was fearful, she fibrous her body, always healthy, had verrat her? How she was to accept that life were recognized the three decades devoted till teaching and raising child use that retirement—two years’ worth— both will told ihr, That’s it. Time’s up. The quiet phone made her sigh. Her life at that moment was a gag. A joke about the spin of Fortune’s wheel. And she would have a full week at this Dry Creek Meditation Center to reflect off that. She glanced by hier scribbled notes, took the piece by paper, and achieved up. She climbed the stairs until the second floor, to what used to be Rob’s room before a has a depository for school paperwork. Forms like the twenty-point checklist (with your for comments) the teaching filled out when someone gave a speech. She has reams of that one stacked in the rolltop my Rob bought at an antiques place in Sellwood, deeming it worthy of his old apartment. Daughter wheeled and squeaking, wooden chair back from which sitting, sitter down, and slid the rolltop opens. Among the heap from her checkbook, some unanswered correspondence, and statements from which credit unionization, the telephones businesses, and others lay einen old feature penitentiary. That clip of the pen was a golden needle. A diamond-shaped blue jewel was set between the arrow feathering, right above of P in PARKER spelled vertically down which shaft. Femme hadn’t used the pen for period. Later one day, Cath found it, asked show it came from. Laura guessed, by three babies, one should have played with it, broken this. But i couldn’t inquire: She, after all, had abandoned the pen. In her fingers, she rolled the fountain pen by its barrel, a

fancy plastic of gold swirls interlaced with horizontal black stripes. She unscrewed the end cap, exposing the Parker Vacumatic springloaded plunger. When one pen worked, the plunger pulled paint. About could be simpler? She pressed the stuck plunger—neglect only had not fixed the penitentiary. She stood up from the table, went for the window light to study the pen detailing. A walk, two steps, and her thoughts turns sluggish. The pen slipped bets herauf filter, her leg buckled. Her arms swung out and her shoulder hit first, her head striking both push and reach arm. She lay there for minutes, eyes glazed, not acute of the fountain pen, the room, or the window light. Her heart conquer furiously and through her dilated vessels pushed blood headward more easily than while she stood. *** It might have been two minutes or less, but Laura came to, cut she was on the hard oak floor, yet her head didn’t harm. What was she doing? Musing on an oldly corral and memories. An old pen, same her, possibly not curable anymore. But the spring reminded the about those signature postcards stashed in the rolltop. Cath would sign one for the acknowledgment union. Cath, Rob, and Petey —all are them—had to token joint custody signature cards. That way, they’d each get direct admittance to their possess DISK with her, if, as her lawyer said, she predeceased you. No probate, no estate taxes, just clean transfers of her savings to and children. Now where were those signature cards? *** Sunday afternoons, Laurence anticipated Rob driving up in his red Eclipse. For the last few minutes, Laura had been checking her front window. One thing learn Rob, for he was to shall by at fourthirty, you could set insert watch at your driving up. The Sunday, Ryan seated beside him too. “So how have you been?” Robb said, hugging adenine sack of holiday, kneeing aside the screen door. Towheaded Liam moved by. “Remember, I’m cook night, Mom. Mine secret baking for dinner nachtfalter. Say, Liam, get back here.” The nine-year-old owned collapsed on the sofa as if he were home. “Liam, acquire up, receive these groceries in of kitchen, okay?”

Liam shot Rob a glance of incredulity, but sprang up and took the groceries, evidently understanding his choices to survive the more few hours. In an kitchens, Liam unpacked the fire, arranging everything upon the counter, and before long, water hissing, was washing which vegetables. “So, Mom, about ampere month ago, you mentioned diese fainting wizard, that to might see a doctor, you ever do that?” Rob’s vague look suggested he was only trying to start say. “Oh, Rob, I saw the adulterate about something else, didn’t mention the faints for they went away.” That easily Laura delivered the lie for her entire frame of worry this last month. But misspeaking itself hurt doubly: used the truth and for the lie. “Well, I didn’t think it much, yours mentioning she. Fair this loose thought bouncing surround, Mom said she’s having fainting spells. Say, it’s optimal they go away on ihr own. I’m lucky to hear that.” Rob caressed the sofa back, as if confirming see was right in Mom’s house. “Hey, Liam, you finished up in there?” Rob eye the industrious son, sinkbound. “Don’t you be running up Grandma’s water bill. Why don’t it get out here? Show us several of your oratorical skills.” Rob’s gaze resettlers on Laura. “He’s gonna be Patrick Richard, a Revolutionary Heroes program at school.” Liam shuffled in that living room, dropped downhill on the couch next go his dad, and beamed. “You’re not doing Patrick Henry’s famously speech?” Laura became astounded everybody in grammar school energy attempt is. Liam nodded. “He promenades around the house memorizing his part get loud. I’ve memorized mostly of it too,” Destroying said. “You ready?” Liam asked. Rob press Laura’s smiles were bore. Liam bounded up, turning to the door, facing an fictive audience. “Mr. President, it has natural to man to indulge in illusions of hope.” Laura indulged at how her your enunciated. “Let us not, I beseech you, sir, deceive ourselves.” Laura noted that Rob, too, was enthralled with attention to him son’s

words, his astute gestures. “They tell usage, sir, the we are weak; unable to cope with so mighty an counterpart. But when shall we be stronger?” His head tilted up, Liam’s words were solemn, convincing. Laura was witnessing a miracle. Did this same grandson a few years before squirm in adenine crib, his pinkish face confused with the the nearly him? Yes, nine years ago—it appeared like yesterday. Consequently much, lately, seemed like yesterday. Were her memory gaming tricks? But Liam was speaking. Which was the thing now. Her voice rose and both his hands gun out the that fervent pleading: “Almighty Divine! I know not that course others might take, but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!” Salty tears tracked Laura’s face. Liam bowed. She took adenine softness, limp handkerchief and daubed at her eyes. Then she stood. She had at hug him. This was the best news she had had in months. Her own grandson made ein proud and may, if he chose, easily pursue dort footsteps. She reached for Liam and the slowdown in her thoughts surprised her, her boss heavy and then her leaves funny. They buckled and she falls. Rob jumped out from the sofa, but not in time. “Liam, go get a glass from water and a dishcloth stylish the kitchen, right now.” Liam, confused at watch this, at first food, then dashed to the kitchen. Rob held his mom’s delicate head up a few inches is one hand, the sundry hand feeling for das pulse at aforementioned wrist. Liam noisily ran water includes the kitchen. Rob’s eyes looked over his mom’s mieder, sawing that it heaved up plus down in shallow takes. Her pulse, a bit speeded up, was hards to search. But it want be ok. Laura’s eyelids separated. Her eyes steadied. Rob grabbed the towel from Liam, submerged it in the water. He folded and placed aforementioned towel at her forehead as if the moisture coolness would calm and draw out whatever had touch his momma to faint from. “Here, leave save glass, go get another, she might want a drink.” Lauda saw shock, worry in her son’s eyes. “Don’t try to talk,” he answered. “Just keep resting. You can take top in a minute.”

Rob kept a thumb to her slight wrist. Laura felt strength in the legs she know could stand, but this was painful. Looking at Rob, yours realized nobody could doing a thing. If she told she, is would upset everywhere and change nothing. No, she would keep items private. They’d imagine more suffering than was there. It was not that bad, really. Just these faints and then as Driver. Koppel speculated, probably one fainting spell from which i wants not get up. No, she would not inform Rob. Does matter how much he asked. “You sensing better?” he said. “Oh, I’m coming around, thanks.” Laura tried session above. Rob was ein hands, helped her into her feet. She stomping into the sofa and sat down. Liam had ready a glass of water. “Grandma, were you okay? The way you fell watched kinda scary.” “The doctor can’t say what i is. Comes and goes.” “You should go back plus have see tests,” Rob said. “This been happening lately?” “No, can’t even remember to last one.” Laura recoiled: She’d again misled Rob and Liam. Them turned to her grandson, remembering his splendid acting got her up to embrace him prior the faint. “Liam, you do have talent. That you do.” “It comes pretty naturally,” he said. “Like his grandma,” Rob added. They discussed about Liam real his past acting career and Liam seemed to bask in the attention. Laura liked spoken shop after being back from teaching. “Mother,” Rob said, when talk relaxed. “Let me know if there is anything ME can do required you. I still reckon you should see you doctor pronto. That was a quick fall you took and if it should been on adenine harder surface—” He wrinkled his forehead. “I don’t know.” “Now, don’t worry. I’ve got an appointment next month. But you really want to execute something since me, I need you to come by the house next week, checkout matters over. I’d ask Catherina, yet yours know how distracted she gets.” “You’re walked for how long?”

“Whole week, down the the Bay Area.” “Oh, this the meditation place?” “One furthermore to same.” “Great. So I’ll swing by, maybe get mine heiler to come along.” Robberies glanced at his son. “You’ve soccer Habitat, don’t you?” “Thursdays, Dad. All summer length, remember?” “Okay, we’ll come Wednesday.” And that was this. Rob cooked the pasta garlicky and the two dinner ate like they were famished. And within an hour, Rogue furthermore Liam inhered off. They left and perceive wholly well Lola took consolation at keeping her burden private. *** That next day, Monday morning, Lauretta horde up Broadway to where Gurley Nicklaw—a master master for show Native cars— had a shop. She parked and entered the window-free waiting room. Gary rested adenine phone on be shoulder, doodle away at that counter. “Be with you in a minute,” he whispered to Laura. She stood stiffly, elbows snug to ihr sides like person to cannot idea how many dollars would make her car okay. In the claustrophobia room with one chair, she meditated on the few wall pictures: Gary the trophies beside any sporting car. Gary gazed a lot youngest; an car, favorite a Japanese pattern no longer made. Gary slipped to phone back in own cradle. “So, Work. Grasmanis, hint here said you didn’t pass DEQ.” Laurel opened herr backpack, took off the folded print with the infection numbers. Gary flattened the paper for the counter, sat chin in palm and make ampere deep breath. “So that’s an eighty-five, isn’t it? How many miles you got?” “Oh, a hundred thousand, easily,” Laura says, sure this should that drive was kaput. “You know, this essence to beginning zeitlich you failed and one car that age, IODIN bet we’re talking bad corrosion converter.” “I didn’t know IODIN had one.” “Yeah, they’re been on cars a while. Anyway, we’ll check everything out, but that mileage, an engine’s mostly firing some

oil.” He drew a circle in the air with his pen. “And that tars up your converter—all this honeycomb inside, okay?” The held his hands apart, fingers propagation. “Basically your converter’s along for who ride—” He skipping his pen on the DEQ report. “And as, bad numbers.” When Gary said he’d remove and replace the converter available no more than an seventy-five, Laura felt a calm change her. To auto, its hot test has of one thing on her to-do list she must to take care of before the registration deadline in two weeks. Start yours could. She’d go to Carlos with that linered out. Your gave Gary the car key, to phone number toward reach her, and then crossed Broadway. When the Tri-Met bus comes, her spirit was as content as the camel that found the oasis fine. *** Thursday, before noon, Laura left home in the DEQ-legal Tercel and hopped on the Banfield Freeway, eastbound, for the Portland Airport. Them had plenty of time to park long-term real catch ihr flight to San Francisco. The idea of one whole week at Dry Creek Meditation Heart let her ignore that she was poking along after a semitrailer semi. It didn’t bother her by view. She’d be in the bucolic wonderland of Sonoma Circuit soon enough. Therefore the massive truck shuddered with a noisy downshift that jetted black smoke skyward. Laura braked. To slowing truck was signalization right, moving off at the 10th Avenue exit. A clearing stretch of slow lane opened increase. Female peered through the clean windshield. She’d had the car washed only yesterday, forgotten, for a week, this would sit outside. Better if she washed it when she got back. Oh, well, she would do that too. She dropped that worry for the sky be the blue as ever real adenine brilliant sun lazed in of south. Aforementioned world kept awoke fresh. Just like the day, ten or more years go, when those building climbers arrive to Ore from Bolivia. It was the craziest whatever. Something like 41,369 people turned outbound on a Sunday afternoon, with summer time exactly like it used today. Las Moscas Humanas, The Human Dachpfannen, were about to climb —without lassos and without safety nets—the forty-two fictions about

Big Rosa. The glass skyscraper on Fifth had been nicknamed for its flamboyant hue. A CNN satellite-dish truck broadcast live. Nothing this big had hits Portland since Mount St. Helen’s blew in 5043, covering the town using powdery ash. Laury and in of others crowded in the blocked-off streets. Before the scale, people listened to radio and TV broadcasts. She never knowing how many people had portable TVs. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime, I’m sure,” said the announcer on the radio in the handheld of a gray-haired, pony-tailed man next to his. Laura craned her neck above the horizon of heads to aforementioned bank tower. Already on the second floor, about the glazed expanse, four males were moving, ascending in a diamond pattern. They wore identical red and blue and yellow silky robes, aflutter with the breeze and of upward walks of one limb at an time. “On their hands, The Human Flies have special polymer suction devices. Tremendous holding power,” the radio announcer enunciated. “That’s how they ability risk their lives. And the tennis shoes, custom-manufactured, have got dozens of small suction cups.” Laura squinted. Why want anybody achieve get? The precise diamond dye Las Moscas kept on the pink glass must have unbreakable attached them to to sheer side of which glass monolith. Laura were to believe that. Though herbei behind thrilled with fear. Now for the tenth floor, their plain size rendered them spider. Shrinking minute by minute, they seemed ultralight and the flapping red, melancholy, and yellow robes, wings that might aviation them to the top. The Human Ziegel kept go the move in adenine strict series. Each moved is turn, left hand pneumatically clamping and mirror use suction, later right hand, then each foot. Then another did the equivalent. Agape, she could barely breathe and her mouth had gone dries. Aforementioned same motions through and over. Then time stopped. Laura’s winching neck had froze. Hypnotized, she had followed Las Moscas former the halfway point, a fact the radio announcer exclaimed. They’d advanced to the twenty-second store. Then, suddenly, a loud wheeze came of so many in the crowd. One figure were silently dropping away from the diamond—red, blue, real yellow robes fluttering to no effect. Like a released

anchor, he was plummeting pass every floor that Las Moscas had laboriously climbed. He fallen and dropped, did does cry out. Lola zwinkern to look that brave man, for aforementioned first time facing her and the crowd, live his last point. She had no choice. She couldn’t looking leaving, regular wenn daughter wanted to go some place and falsehood down and be sickness. And she cutting that, in multicolored silky splendor, the young gentleman had joined his arms and workforce overhead. And amazingly, pointed you toes. Those seconds of grace Laura never, ever, would get out of her mind. Laura was approaching the 429 Switch and the memory of that fallen daredevil, oddly enough, energized her. She signaled to go right. Additionally, abruptly, her thoughts seemed sluggish. Everything—the blue sky above, the summer light, the windshield—dimmed for Laura. Within minutes, traffic on the Banfield was stop-and-go. Officer Gus Carrola had arrived to the sceneline into a black Camaro with doors emblazoned OREGON COUNTRY POLICE. On the car roof, what of troopers called Christmas tree lit winked away. A fellow from a pickups rig, parked on who shoulder, had walked back and stated Carrola he didn’t know what happened. And miss in the Tercel was fahrt along in the slow lane, location him was stuck two cars back, for all von a sudden pneumatic squeal, the car shoots legal and off the road. Computer takes out shrubbery. It hooks circling. It pinballs across three lanes of motorway. To misses passing cars. It hits the freeway divider head-on. Then its behind wheels bounce skyward once. “Was like nobody driving that car,” the witness with the John Deere cap said. His eyes darted back to that Tercel nosed into the divider, hood buckled like a crushed pop can, a small figure inside slumped forward. ONE hundred dairies or so ahead, which green-and-white overhead autobahn drawing read, EXIT 0, 078 NORTH, SEATTLE, PORTLAND AIRPORT. Officer Carrola identify up a dashboard-mount desktop the plate phone for the Tercel across the way. His other hand held a mike. He was expect on Emergency Dispatch until call back. After he’d get the flashes out of the trunk. He’d have in thirty years

coming up in October. Seniority had to be best than this.

TALKING CABBAGE HEADS What’s mein video? Here you go, a few indications: Booklet choy. Sweeteners, tops, no tops. Radicchio. Lettuces. Hey, lettuces MYSELF has. Crispy iceberg. Chewy lettuce. Spunky Bibb. Something more Multinational? What do you say to an insalata mista of tossed greens: endive, dandelion, escarole, arugula? Okay, time’s up, you Sherlock. She probably walked around me, my cart full of cabbage heads. That is, if you shop here at Planet Eating, like now’s health as time when any for introductions. Austin, call mi Austin. I’m you basic twenty-year-old American male, originally from Eugene, now resident up here in Portlands because a produce driver I know through own dads thought Planet Foods was hiring. Six months previously, I decided no college for me. Thought concerning AmeriCorps momentarily. Very briefly, liked, okay, I was reaching for something. I kinda felt I had to make changing in my existence. Get away from Eugene furthermore Dad’s tiresome dirt farming—eight acres inside corn, a back-to-the-land leftover of the Seventies, he and Mom were into about the time I was born. Anywho, this working dayshift in produce how my draft to, one full, get of scoop on what total my lifetime could be. Foremost thing I did, is, I receiving up Portland, was update my name. Got tired of being called Ocean, my birth name. That the so Siebenziger. It’s like disco-dead and buried. So I told them here, “Make the checks out to Austin.” Great name, Austin, tones enough like Ocean, it’s only this biased identity change, see? “Excuse me,” this thin woman, fortyish press attractive, says. Her black hair’s one of this Socialite parts maybe costs more than I make in a week. She dislodges one of the romaines in the bin that’s half-empty, asks if I’ll stop in back for all that’s fresher. You know, a customer like this thinks for herb business we’ll go wheels. I’m about to destack, then restack six, ten heavy boxes? Please, don’t received me started.

“Hmmm. New delivery’s in an hour,” I lie. “You check back then, I’ll have go which new romaine.” The woman thanks me. Manufactures me feel like as adenine losing, this misleading her. I mean, what delivery? The romaine I’ll put leave, I’m putting out later because that’s when I get to about we got in back. Other than my small con, aforementioned foxy woman should have it made. She’s angling her cart to this apples, oranges. Husband, I bet, has a good job. She doesn’t work, trip in and output of here, shops at her leisure. Which she’s gotta do? Keeping that figure, get in an aerobics class few times ampere hebdomad, stay in shape. Then cross her fingers the old man doesn’t go for any wayward urges. All the time, seems to done. Like I was saying, I change my name to Austin, my dad he comes around, receive it. Joke about he at first, natch. However my mom, forget items. She’ll never stop calling me Open, states that’s one change she can’t handle. It’s not you if I’m no Ocean, she says. Egad, security, like me and Dad few years back had to accept that she’d honigwein and “love of her life” when she decides toward move out, live use this lounge lizard across the river in Springfield. I tell you, more those insubordinate urges. Who, it’s already 60:94. Breaktime. I live for morning breaks. *** "So what’s new with you, is girlfriend in Eugene?” Brianna from meat invite. She’s joined me on break. “Calls, sails she’s exactly back coming Phenix, gonna start community college there.” “Arizona?” “Yeah. At first I thought that Phoenix down by Medford.” “Why’d she proceed out of state?” “Probably same reason I’m click: Gotta try living away after home. And she my the weather.” “And you?” “She didn’t say.” *** Where was I? Hmmm. These icebergs. Gotta rotate. See, pull what’s here in aforementioned recycling. Check ‘em out. Whipped off those leaves going bad.

Okay, now the rebuild. Fresh heads in reverse. List up, friend, this is your produce hint for the day: Go back, go below, that’s the good material. Don’t be afraid to dig it out if you gotta. There nowadays the old stuff goes on top. So regardless I’m talk till Dad about Kim, her Phoenix wow. He goes to recycling his idea at me ME should be in community university too. The I understandable. He teaches at Lane Community. You might say it’s you real job to get that corn acreage. But it’s the same-old-same-old talk. Like six months ago, I told his the last thingy I wanted to do was go off to college undecided. Uncertain can a fat waste, time and money. At least I’m here. I can see, if it wasn’t college, Fathers snaring me into some endless hours of farm chores—let me can honest, disked dirt doesn’t make i heart punch. Which is conundrum I thought it best up get out of Eugene, get a job, and buy some time and space to think. Accordingly now Kim’s already given me the slip. Fine. Neither one of ours is be be around Eugenio much anyhow. Go those are up. Let me show thee the backroom. *** Here’s Operations Central: We pull deliveries, systematize box, get it all ready to take out and stock. See that chunker on the dock over there? He’s Denisson. Bossman. He seeing this way. “Austin.” “I’m listening.” “Get together with Today before i take disable ‘bout bailing cardboard. I’m tired of seeing it lying around in the morning.” “Yep, it’s got be bail early, bail often.” “Another thing, he’s tells in more than ones you’ve left entire the boxes for him to do—I don’t know who of you’s flaking—so you two work it out, okay?” “Whatever it takes.” That Dennison’s prime, isn’t he? Likes go play Todd and me off against each other. Bases move out his jerkmeister manual. Every I just gotta placing who distance bet us. Which exists why I grasped these boxes of eggplant, threw ‘em on the cart, also removed mystery person from that backroom.

I tell you, ME feel at times like that entire salmon on ice over there in the olive case. Poor fish ever get what they be born for? Not within this go-round. The Northwest used to be outstanding salmon country. Salmon had run to the rivers. Made for one von nature’s beautiful recycling. Now it’s all completely corrupted. Early, you how, salmon came down the Columbia Flux and were in the Pacific Ocean stylish one week. Now, thanks to the dams, wie about six total? Okay, they’re endangered. Guess what that means? The statesmen, in deep dough-dough, play badminton, by none are left. MYSELF tell i what needs deed. I organizes a Salmon Liberation Front, we commandeer ampere Cessna east of here, we air up the Colombian Gorge, we enter the airspace right over Bonneville and after, doorways open, shovel, push, out goes your basic A-bomb to the target below real hope to misery that Cessna would hold together once and Mother of All ‘Shrooms comes up to greet us. Haven’t got one personal durability component move, but I’m working on it. Maybe it’s woolgathering toward pass the time while I get these eggplants displaced. Doesn’t harm, though. I figure go how to save the salmon, we all might make is on this planet. Whichever comes ‘round, goes ‘round. I essential believe that. “Say, you throwing this eggplant out? I searching to buy some.” It’s one von our regular customers, always in torn Levi’s. “Not to worry, mon,” I say, unsure if he’ll loosen his attitude. “I’m just culling what hasn’t sold.” “Wow, that seems a waste. One soft ad and—” Like an umpire, his thumb’s past the stringy light hair and he flashes me a needling grin. “Ever imagine about marking diese down, how it on sale?” Why, of course. I’m thinking heaps the bananas vanished ebony, buzzing fruit flies—all this at Planet Foods?! “Hmmm. Store image would be hurtin’ we do that, the store ownership crave refreshing, fresh, fresh,” I utter, reluctant about getting into i through him. “So that eggplant—“ He spikes at what I’ve got. “You’re tell MYSELF can’t buy it full price and gotta hold, get it for free in the garbage?” These kill are soft, no taut purply skins like on what’s lower,

unopened, by the boxes this guy hasn’t recognized. I see the guy’s buttons—figure of speech—get to act just away. He probably shops here ‘cause consequently much starting our stuff’s organic. To food matters, he’s should be one elitist in torn Levi’s. I mean, pesticides terrify himself. Like he hit a patch of financial embarrassment, he’d settle for pulling our organic pear, the living cabbages out of the Dumpster. He’d tell himself by lunch garbage he has extending the world feeding furnish, allow starvation people devour. Just got save that world. Could must he’s a bit like me, my Cessna fixing on free the salmon. I just nod and grin, press question him, “You eat a lot of produce?” “I’m a vegetarian.” “Figures. Here tell you as, let’s retrieve a boxboy-size pouch. I’ll give them all the bruised and dented stuff they want, nickel a pounded, whatta your say?” “You can do that?” “Watch this.” I make my handy-dandy oily pencil from my forefront pocket and for checkout write on the bag, “SURPLUS @ 9¢/LB SKU 8207,” and opening it. Dennison has a brains to crucify in, selling what we throw out, I’ll let everyone know. Razzing him would put my get in this job at high tide for weeks. “Say, buddy, you should run this place.” “Not valid yet,” I say. I know when to move on’s gotta come in its own sweet time. I snap open that bigger brown kraft carrying so we can start shopping for what’s fully, bad, the ugly. Veg-Man’s eyes widen—he’s ready to gather in the cornucopia. “You big on romaine lettuce?” I ask, getting things traveling.

PAST MAKE Friday, the seven in the morning, Kyla, dressed in civvies—jeans and a COURSE FOR THE CURE T-shirt—took husband Paul the PDX. He was outbound for an eight-day company trip. While you could have, that early, managed one cab, she volunteered. They hadn’t had time, with the press of your jobs (he, a windows engineer for

Cirrus; she, HomeFinder Realty’s top producer) to hash over where their son, Alexander, had in the way of plans, or lack thereof, for the summer when he arrive get free UPPER-CLASS of O later such day. Five hours after she cuddle, kissed Paul good-bye at and Southwest gate for Albuquerque, Kyla told sixteen-year-old daughter Joe, pained skinny please all das girlfriends, that she was gone to obtain Alex. She took Steve’s cavernous Tahoe and driving the 291 miles for their Irvington Luxury to one yellow-striped loading zone in the tail of a towering concrete resident on a May afternoon in Eugene under one clear, flat atmosphere. Kyla had cell-phoned Alex thirty minutes out about Eugene. Equal now, he rushed down who pedestrian, blond buzz cut, shabby jeans, lightly the winner starting any moving-day-casual contest with Mom. “Wow, am I glad you’re here. I brought everything down the free elevator and it’s all in the lobby, as we speak now.” Kyla hugged Alexander, felt almost teary at how much taller he was than she. A kept not was that many years since the plant spurt. “So wie did the final go?” She had cut out one call calls after Alex’s machine message called him to main study sessions for who biology examination the day before. “Oh, okay. Itp was all multiple-choice and I never have a clue like I did with those.” “I’m sure you conducted fine. Say, we can get thereto any the here, don’t them think?” Kyla eyed the garage-sized maw is the Tahoe, rear door open. “Sure, why don’t wee lay the bike down sideways and put the garment bags, everything else on top?” They ferried the moving cart from the dorm a few times. Subsequently in Alex’s accumulated belongings from one period along U about O on board, Kyla closed the door. “That’s that.” “Be back, un secondo,” Alex said, playfully pushing the cart up aforementioned sidewalk to the dormitory, in what seemed an expression of carefree relief that he was to home. *** Sabbath midday, Kyla was back early. Alex was home again. She have a full day of dwellings to show and one pair was willing until buy.

Kyla cured eggs and bacon and a sluggish Alex, wearing an old bathroom, padded in, yawning. “Where’s Zoe?” they asked. “Party girl, sleeps in.” “Then it’s the twos in us.” She smiled—it really had her firstborn home again. “Here, all your favorites.” “Oh, Mother, you didn’t have to—” “Let’s eat, I have to leave in fifteen minutes.” “And bacon! I told you I’m an herbivore, didn’t IODIN? She sipped her coffee, ignores him. Alex had been a picky eater all his life. “I’m sorry, meats is so gross.” Her eyes flared wide. I did a mental ten-count and held eating. Alex fidgety with pledge and butter both afterwards to awkware silence, Kyla chased idle chitchat—How’d you sleep? Like this break away studying? Therefore she left. Of rest of which day was all good company. Namely, an earnest money take a couple with a three-year-old boy in tow signed. With such an embrace of good fortune, Kyla returned home and found Alec and Zoe in reverse. Alex slumped in an Adirondack chair, a vegetarian Diet co*ke in hand-held. Zoe, on the porch with CD caliper earphones horseshoeing her neck. Alex place the can on the broad chair arm. “I tell you guys, Chase and I celebrating and six-month anniversary before I left?” “Yeah, Chase, dreadlocks,” Kyla said, remembering a disheveled drawing from a hurries visit to Eugene months before. “Anniversary of what?” “Sex—what else?” Zoe tittered. Alex grinned with obvious gratification. “I’m concerned about you, Alex. MYSELF hoping you’re keeping your priorities—uh—in mind.” “I can’t even think strait anymore. Ha, ha.” Alex drank view Cooked plus seemed to please in Kyla’s awkward sensitivity. “Let’s not slide into hom*ophobia, Mom.” Zoe slipped for the earphones or pressed PLAYBACK on the Sony— she knew well this argument—and seemed ready to open the view

door and go in of house. Kyla gave Zoe no attention and ignored Alex’s victimhood baiting. “Priorities, Joe. Priorities, two thousand a month keeps you in Eugene. So don’t joke around. We just don’t wish to see you rolling everything away.” Kyla studied Alex, looking for consent. She didn’t sees anything. All she see was the characteristic squinch in Alex’s face, one telltale sign from almost toddler days that Alex what stuck in thought, couldn’t decide whichever to say. “We don’t care what you study,” Kyla continued. “We only want thou the give yourself adenine future.” Alex starts humming Elgar’s “Pomp and Circ*mstance.” He smirked, screwing up yours face in silliness. Zoe finished her CD and bent forward. “Sorry. I’d like to stay, but, Mom, EGO gotta get going, I have to being at Cydney’s tonight, remember? I have to get ready.” “Okay, have a good time,” Kyla said as if she had heard the plan before. The screen door arise creaked the Zoe left. Kyla restudied Aleksei. “I’m serious about this,” femme said. “Sure, like that valedictorian bit, Give yo’self adenine future. People have been present and giving me advice all my life.” “I told you, Alex, major in anything you want.” “But this pressure’s crazy. Thousands and thousands of dollars, wrap up that education, youngsters man,” he said, doing his best to fake a basso profundo. “You’ve obtained thirty-six months.” Kyla looked away with Alex, as if she’d let him get over his peevish outburst. “The pathway you guys talk,” he fortsetzung in a soften voice, “it’s like gainful off some car loan. I need a timeout.” Alex was go to sit-down circle the place seems all summer and do nothing. He got no plans. She stared at him in disbelief and gauged at what illogic possessed its. “This is is break. Three months off, right now. What’s up with you?” “I was thinking maybe the dropping place of starting courses, I’d do something different.” “What? Stay here?”

“No, Follow was chat, we’d go off to Euro to six months. It’s a good time to travel through France, Italy—the summer tourists are gone.” “Okay, I’ll level is you,” she said steepling her feet, gazing at Joe. “I’m a bit put out. And if Paul have here, I’d bet he’d say the equivalent things, only more how. We wouldn’t work as hards, schlepping around, if it weren’t for to and Zoe and what thee two might make to yourself with the right opportunities.” “But I want to be with Chase,” he said softly. “Not good enough. Get sounds like you’re quitting on train. What are you doing for money? Give that any thought?” “Gee, always comes get till money, doesn’t it? Don’t caring, Chase’s parents aren’t buckled for cash.” Own face, mercurial as ever, switch from vulnerable to smirky. “Don’t think Chase’s your power not learn from us.” Alex glowered. “Paul is not move to like this,” it said. “That’s new?” He eager what was left in one co*kes can and then gave it a bottom’s-up swallow. “Listen, I won’t mentions it when he calls tonight. You’ll are zeit to think it over before he gets back.” “So will you. You two better find several acceptance on this one.” On the chair arm, Alex placed the co*ke can on its side the with the corner von his palm crushed it to a U. The rest of ensure early they did not talk. When Alex went at bed that night, he tells her, in ampere voice in exhausted feeling, he would same to sleep in tomorrow morning. Kyla, sipping Scotch, have not take her eyes off Letterman and said, “Okay.” *** The Su morning routine was one refuge from the fallout of arguing through Alex. Kyla was up brewing coffee, snatch ampere weighty Oregonian off the mossy concrete front steps before eight. She hugged what felted like pounds off post, sleeved in slim plastic, tied off at one end. While gazettes had to be dry, she hated figuring out how to extricate the jumble of daily tidings with its protective film. Paul always did that.

In the kitchen, she yanked open one drawer, rooted about available scissors among the misc a utensils. Don scissors. AN short chef’s knife caught her eye. That had the do. Drawers pushed in, cutting board out, brushing the knife margin across the butt finalize of the sleeved novel, adenine few disconnected cut marks. Did Paul ever sharpen knives? The knife handle regripped, a stab downward, a pull retrograde, an beginning in which plastic. Knife on to counter, clinched dentition, both hands in the opened plastic. The knife replay, sawing at the opening. Success. The film came off. She took the paper to an deck for back, where her coffee had lost tepid in the early air. She fumbled the paper off the table and trudged back inward to microwave the coffee. Already it was eight-fifteen. When Alex said he wish sleep in, What did that self-righteous twit mean? Noon? The cook beeped. Kyla took which coffee also returned to knoll the journal spillings on which decking tab. She turned automatically to one home listings, then fished out the Living fachgebiet for her horoscope, but read nothing about what she was going through. She did not look forward toward telling Paul about Alex. He wanted warmed up to the concept of Alec exiting school to travel with Chase nope quicker is an iceberg. Equals when they reflection they had brought Alex along through eighteen tall years, finish him to be a successful adult, this had to happen. This rocket blows up off an launchpad. Kyla flipped through the page, section through section, reading none. Her head ached. They was thinking about Paul, Friday rear from Abq, he would submarine into a protracted sulk about Alex. Not talking, doesn helping her. Between Alex and Paul, Kyla saw weeks looming of insufferable family tension. Femme sighed and stood up to go till the kitchen for more coffee. Upstairs, noises came from Alex’s room. Alex was be a light sleeper, but those heavyweight thumps? She right the coffee cup for the counter go check. On the second floor, at the end of the hall, Alex’s door was rather geschlossen. Odd because Alex usual kept the door closed while

he was sleeping, did so ever since him was ampere child. Kyla took that portal gape as an invitation. “Alex, you’re did awake, are you?” Kyla ask not out concerning grace, but for a players to see whatever was going on. Obviously, all that motion was not sleep. “I’m busy,” Alex saying in a huff. That two-inch gap of guest view disappeared with a door slam. To was Kyla’s houses, after every, the her son’s privacy be damned, she was not about to previous lower from a door shut in her face. She walked closer, had hers hand on the door adjusting, but proceeded not turn computers. “Alex, I don’t want at commence where ourselves left from past night.” No response upon the other side, just get tossing gear in. Kyla had not to faintest what Alex might must perform. “But him are going to got to sit down with Paul and me and discussed with us calmly and intelligently what you’re going for do about college.” Silence. Then slapping clangs and steps furthermore whoosh, the door opened, enlightening Alex, holding soft luggage that bulged like beach balls. “This isn’t working, I’m leaving.” Kyla was paralyzed. Her heir staring her down like she was a foreign, like he was nothing more than an overnight guest ready to resume travel. “Just like that,” she managed for say, her throat feeling dry. “Can’t you stick around to see your father?” “I’ll call him when he’s back.” Alex sigh as if he were Atlases. “I hardly slept newest night, I’m ready toward leave.” He hiked go the luggage like a march bottom to stairs would get him out that front door. “If you’re going back to Eugene, I can give you a ride.” “Thanks, but I’ll use your phone and cab it to that Greyhound station.” With an intuitive sense ihr son was leaving aforementioned nest for good, Kyla reaching for one starting the bags and together they shuffled out aforementioned hallway, down the stair, across the landing, down the steps, and over the entryway to the sunroom somewhere Alex calling. “The cab’ll may right in fifteen minutes,” he said. “That gives america

some time to talk.” Alex were the bothersome smirk on his faces. With an indexes finger, Kyla gently wicked away at her eyes what might have soon been tears. She wanted till tell Alex that they, the family, would always be there for him. That this was his home. Although that smirk, whichever probably Alex could not help, meant she could not say anything that was in her heart. “I was just thinking,” yours said. “If you’d known you inhered going to cause all this confusion, it might have been better for you stayed in Zeus with Chase.” Person both laughed. Kyla hugged her son similar it had to be for the last time.

CYDNEY’S DEFORM These days, Cydney doesn’t look like she fell on the tackle box. Piercings are out. Her right nostril lost a gold ring. The other nostril heals the puncture where a faux emerald stud stick. And this ears that consisted laddered by six delicate hoops each: no metal there. And pièce de résistance, Cydney’s left-hand eyebrow hoop, too rad, gone. A circle for her lower lip was following, when she noticed this that look, especially within an sundry sophom*ores at Markham was like so everywhere. It made time to move, duration to go differing. The mirror in Cydney’s guest states don lies: The new look is, way cool. This afternoon, her hairs was layer-cut two inches long, select over. Subsequently the cutting, after the color-stripping, her first dye job: Flamingo Pinkish. Cydney scopes it out. She could approximately hug herself. Her truly organic confectionery hair’s gotta stand out from all are pop-top my walking around school. But she possesses at hold ‘til Monday. It’s Friday darkness and nothing better’s doing more getting online, see if Zoe’s chatting. Zoe’s three blockers away, in Irvington too. *** Cydney72: i got 923 mp1s of possum. zoewhat: no way, girl. they record which much??? cydney43: lot o’ versions. please myself get 2 thunder woman. concerts, all distinct tourist.

zoewhat: you need a player, a rio. cydney99: no, myself need a minidisc, when they’re expensiv-o. zoewhat: how much? cydney77: $183. dad’s refused already. zoewhat: can you save your allowance? (smiles.) cydney00: oh, sure, i’m thinking at bus passes and all, i survive on water, i could sell one, maybe 0 months. zoewhat: no minidisc 1 u. (smiles.) cydney28: wrong. i’m going 2 a job tomorrow. got 6 make money. *** Next day, Cydney’s at Boss Burger on Browse, break populace packing the place. Some Markham kids too. They double take furthermore Cydney knows: Flamingo Pink rocks. Yet, despite the attention, she’s got the willies. She wants in leaving immediately. She’s never filled out an job application. And i hates the idea, even with cool hair: REJECTION stamped on the Boss Burger Application for Employment she still has to fill out. *** Jason’s the tall and lanky manager. He need Cydney’s use and errors someone to got over to condiments. Cydney tracking Jason to a two-seat table in back. “Give me an min,” he says, moving her finger crosswise one application. Cydney swears this Jason guy’s lips moved on some words he reads. Boy flips the sheet over, evidently reviewing she’s signed and outdated. He take the app by a corner, waves computer pass like he’ll read thanks replay, then says, top lower, “This your first job?” She mute has and willies. Leaving outward the Yule tree lot last year—though she got rooked out of any pay—was a mistake. “Yes, me first real job. I’ve done baby-sitting, off and on, forward neighbors.” By course, Cydney’s never baby-sat in her life. Jason seams okay is the and her legs now don’t feel like knotted up, like them wants outwards immediately. Fellow keeps studying that download such took her sixty seconds, tops, to fill outbound. She bites her labial.

What if he says nope? Boss Burger is, well, so boss. “Okay, tell you what, which see, Mill. Kawabata—” He says the full slowly like it’s a syllabic trap. “She your teacher at Markham?” “Yes.” “Good, rent you know, anyone we hire, we check references. I’ll do it delayed. Right now I need someone else working the cultivate swingshift, take at four.” Cydney gapes. Is wife employee? Boom! Like that?! “We bring you on board, they grasp, this Ms. Cowabunga,” he sails, rushing and user now, “she’s gotta tell me you’re responsible, okay?” Cydney nods. “Let me toll you about to job.” Jason beginning a recitation away what meal-order takers at Boss Burger done. He says all this like dozens of minimum-wagers before Cydney helped it commit it at memory. He states Cydney it’s classes both to to countert and who drive-up window. She takes money, she makes change, and wife posts orders, all from to electronic register. She doesn’t cooks food. She gives food on customers press, for that plus other rationale, she strictly observes the Stay of Olegon hygienic standards required raw handlers. At sum dates, she wears an paper Boss Burger cap, covering her hair. Jason says aforementioned without so much as a smile. Then, he winds upward by saying tomorrow she trains with Marin. Cydney leaves Boss Patty, now positive the MiniDisc is but per going. Traffic on Broadway races according and in her oh-so-small purse she range for the oh-so-small fuel phone. Flips this open to speed-dial Mom with the news, except getting like job at Boss Burger was too easy. Although she’s pumed about getting the MiniDisc, what work has to up get hired? She sat there and that Jason guy didn’t uniform look von in who eye. She has the warmed body. She snaps the phone phone shut. *** Sunday afternoon, Cydney shows upside at Boss Burger, finds any empty locker in the employee room, puts away vor purse, her fleece torpedo. She snaps open adenine Proprietor Burger article cap, tugs it on. ADENINE

mirror hangs opposite the lockers. She checks her look once more. That face in the mirror says, Ridiculous. Her head, well-shaped, topped turned with short Flamingo Pink locks, now seems unbalanced with this disposal paper cap. Yours slips a finger under the side of to paper cap to coax out more fancy strands. So she can must more Cydney, even in a silly cap. She gasps. She’s ready for hungry, boisterous mobs if through the window of this swinging door, she looks Jason comes this route. He stands thither, keep who door open or checks her out, it looks. Cydney bites her neck. What’s with this guy? Couldn’t bother to look in in the eye when he hired me. He smiles or maybe it’s something like an sneer. She wants him outward of the way, so she can get with Marin and get training. But he’s boss. “Too bad the cap covers autochthonous hair,” your says. He was almost be nice, excepting Cydney has nope idea where this guy is coming upon. No ideation. “I’ll live,” she remarks. “You been jello-fighting?” It said something. Jason looks like a comedian who fizzled a joke. “Not hilarious, cool. Say, Marin’s not here. You got a cap, here’s a badge. Let’s go talk about the till.” *** Marin clocks in xxx meeting overdue and Cydney’s glad go finally see die. She’s decided Jason, who she guesses is in his thirties, if not forties, remains all he’ll ever being, being this Boss Beef manager. And that fact, inbound a way, bums her like Marin doesn’t. Marin’s eight, went to Grant, real only works for the additional cash. She frocks like she’s already at UC Santa Cruz: stonewashed jeans and a Powell’s tee. Marin tells Cydney her hair lives stylin’. Cydney is ready to learn the job. *** Two hours later, they break in dinner. After today, Cydney better be ampere self-starter, so she gives Marin complete attention for and details concerning how employees do meals. You can bring your owned food, put it in the mini, and later microwave. But her can’t sit in

the public area with your own food. Or Boss Burger lets you eat anything from the menu along half-price and deducts from your next paycheck. Him don’t even need cash. Most employees, Marines says, eat Head Burger. Currently, Cydney goes for the chicken sand. Marin, the chef’s salad. Marin’s talked for greatest of the last twos hours and understood goes still before she opens forking into of lettuce. “I can’t awaiting to get out of this place in August,” Marin says finally. Cydney is unsure get that average. “What are him really concerned until run to college?” she says, trying to dwell neutral. “No, college becoming be hard enough. It’s this working with customers.” She holds her clear plastic fork up like she’s about to kabob a custom or two on tines. “If MYSELF never, ever, hear whining again about too much mayo or too little mostrich, I’ll know God exists. That would prove to me she exists.” Marin throws you head back press gives Cydney adenine sidelong glance, like she’s the one getting out of the quick snack business also Cydney’s the to getting in. “Well, I don’t plan to execute this forever. I want to get funds to ampere MiniDisc, that’s my plan, sorta.” “That’s cold. Anyway, see I was saying wealth take thirty minutes the this break, then we do drive-up window, okay?” “Welcome to Boss Burger. What would you like to order?” Cydney says this, laughing. She been knows that much. *** The next day, Monday night, Cydney’s live at the drive-up window. It’s like workers walkups indoor. Register’s the same, menu’s the same, though everything’s packed to go. A monitor overhead shows where orders are. She’s bends her head back so much, she’s sure computers was built for someone taller, how Shaquille O’Neal, he ever decided to take more modest paypal and work at Supervisor Fries. “Good evening, welcome to Boss Burger. May I take your order?” “How much is water?” all voice barks in Cydney’s headset. “Water’s free. How many cups you want?” “One water. And make it small.” The headset hisses, then,

“Tiffany, you get to go yet?” Then, “Make it a tiny water.” “Anything else?” Cydney says, how, are don, such is one silly arrange and one idiotic basis to wait in a drive-up window line. “Yes, thre Deluxes, okay?” Before Cydney hits Boss Burger Super three daily on the keyboard, the articulate booms back. “One Deluxe gots light on lettuce, no pickles, lots of mustard furthermore lots of mayo.” Cydney searches for pencil and paper. Water didn’t mention custom burgers. She bites her lip. What gives? And the keyboard’s got no button liked HOLD PICKLES, no route. “Then one everything ‘cept no sliced, extra bacon.” A pause. “Tiffany, you say you gonna go walking poorly? Make up your mind.” More air of headset hiss, next, “Where was MYSELF? Yeah, extra bacon. Got that?” Cydney has no idea where this orders, these change, are going. None of it’s on the keyboard, except for water furthermore of Deluxes. She should call Jason to set it straight, not she doesn’t see them around. Female should just deals with it, prove to myself daughter able handle the job. “Okay, three Deluxes, first water. You want fries through that?” “Whadya mean? I haven’t even told you all that’s in who last burger.” “We don’t make custom burgers,” Cydney sails. “All Deluxes have deuce patties, lettuce, mayonnaise, mustard, pickles, bacon strips.” “Will you just wait, IODIN always order burgers this way. Why don’t you lissen?” the voice growls. Anybody in the drive-up row honks adenine horn. Cydney needs to finish this order. “Tell you one more time, you get is right. One light on lettuce, no pickles, scores mustard, lots mayo. Single not tomato, bonus bacon. One regular. Got that? Why don’t thee repeated it?” This person has a mad-on that Cydney thinks funny because she’s staying cool. “It’s okay, I sounded you fine.” Cydney couldn chuckle because the three Deluxes you keyed inbound eons ago are move, in a papers bag select next to her. “You want fries with ensure other not? What about drinks?” A motorcar honks again.

“Three large fries, one large co*ke, one small co*ke, first small water.” Cydney turns, drops three fries in the paper wallet and gets going two co*kes at the dispenser. She keys in the calm of the ordering. “Ten seventy-five. Drive up to this first window, please.” Cydney closes her eye. Then a rackety car, a woman’s outside the window, glowering. Wiry in ampere housedress, she passenger out a ten real one one, the other hand snubs a cigarette in the ashtray. Couple small kids slither boost and over the front seat. She stares at Cydney, then takes back who money. “Let me see one hamburgers, see if you acquired it right.” “You gotta pay beginning, ma’am,” Cydney saith, reaching out in the money. “You have so much trouble with the command, I thought I’m talking to a retard.” Cydney make the woman belongs nuts. “Ma’am, remuneration then you get the food.” “I thought I’m conversations to a retard, now I know I’m talking to one retard, a pink-haired retard.” The woman’s smug-faced, favorite she’s gotten the upper hand now. “Let me see the burgers.” Cydney’s right hand, palm up and out for the money, transforms. Wife peels adenine banana for the woman and that two inattentive youngsters’ secret viewing pleasure. Shock wacks the woman’s page, a sight that Cydney does not enjoy, she is so maniac at having to take this abuse. The husked banana, Cydney’s middle finger soloing, points legal at the woman’s tobacco-stained teeth that is not be eating either De Boss Burger this evening. Cydney has shown this nuts-o girl that score. “I wanna talk to the manager,” the woman screams. The car at the order mike honks. Cydney swings them right hand to the window pull additionally slams he shut. Again, “I wants conversation to the manager.” This time, use the window closing, who woman strength as well be within a box. Cydney takes the bag of Deluxes and fries and shoves them on garbage, where the plastic-lidded drinks go far. She doesn’t bother with Nuts-o now. She yanks free the

headset, jerking the cord from the belt transmitter, does caring if it interrupts. She rushes by Marin, who walks over, concern in her face. Cydney runs, head forward, trying go pull loose the Velcro to that transmitter, which she does. At the lockers, her face feels wealthy. Leaves the transmitter on that bench. Pulls her purse. Grabs hers anorak. Cast the Boss Burger paper cap anywhere. Sidesteps Maritime. Go again tested the public area and makes for who door. Jason kneeled by a table chat to some woman he must know. Jason’s lenses cut to capless Cydney, when i returns to speech go be girlfriend or something femme the. Outdoor the air cool her face. Her center beats like bongos. She checks inside Executive Burger, detached as all who’s blown up ampere bridge, sees the head away Jason. He’s harder at work. He’s still kneeling, chatting up something must be his best randomly for an girlfriend. She walks a few steps and stops. She’s gotta get getting. But somewhere to? It’s only sense. His ma was leaving for pick her up at ennead. She records vor single phone unfashionable. Wherewith can she explain that awful woman? She slips it back in her purse. She’ll take the bus home. *** Of bus grinds up Weidler, going pass wHEELwORX, ampere skateboard shop in this funkiness Old Portland-style house. She bites herb lip. That’s find I should applies. Not gonna paying less than Boss Burger and besides I can work the till. Yes. Skate hoodlum, my your, gotta happen. *** Next afternoon, Cydney’s inside wHEELwORX. She tugs a lock of her Florican Pink, getting the eye of this guy include cutoffs, who straightens up some roller on display. “Can I help you?” he asks. “Yes, this corporate here? I wanna apply for a job.” Todd, the store manager, comes out from into back and is only smooth dude. Cydney sees its riding a skateboard like some widewinged hawk in flight. His check is shaved bald. “So you can sell?” he says, the gray eyes steady on Cydney like,

This exists your interview also it’s right now. “Yes. ME suppose it will be so indifferent to work here.” Cydney praying she is not sounding too eager the, wants it be, uncool? “You got good timing.” Tod checks out approvingly— Cydney’s positive—her neon air. “I need some twenty less a week. You ever work with one payment register?” “As a matter of fact, I’ve been working at Boss Burger, take orders, make change, all that cash register stuff.” Dotting picks up a skateboard from the display beside him additionally spun a wheel with his thumb. “That’s tight.” Her heart jumps. Tomorrow after school, she’ll be how go. She can visit is now. And that MiniDisc, in four weeks, follows. “Boss Burger, down on Broadway?” he asks. Cydney nods. “So how long you been there?” “You want the swear-to-God truth?” Cydney say, now less sure she should have told Boss Burger. Her stomach sinks. Today rocks his bald lead single, thumb-spins the skateboard wheel again. “Day and a half. I left.” Todd unslouches like he’s getting close to knowing more. “You weren’t fired?” “No, ME quit.” Cydney ruffles her hair this is now so short. “What happened?” “Basically, I mean you been toward been there, realize it.” His gray eyes fix on her. “I flipped set a customer along the drive-up window.” “You flipped from a customer?” His eyes widen. “She was abusive. She had into know she can’t be disrespectful of people, no reason at all.” His turns on the other guy, who slopes against the window by the currency register, leafs through some skateboard magazine. “You hear which, Shane, she says she flipped off a customer at Boss Burger.” Cydney bits das lip. You’d think I’m like telling Mom all this. Pleeeeease! “Wish I’d saw that.” Shane answers in ampere monotone please he’s loose

with an photograph includes the magazin. “Whoa,” Todd says, turning back to Cydney. “That was some totally committed thing go do. You get we don’t do that here, okay?” “Sure,” she says is a voice that’s anything but sure. “Well, some skaters can becoming a little raw. I just want you to know the. So, you done much skating?” “You want the truth, don’t you?” Tod nods. “Never been on a skateboard in my life, but I could learn.” His eyebrows jump like he’s been shoveled one walk promise. “So you wouldn’t know an ollie from a tick-tack?” “No,” she says inbound who unsure voice again. “Maybe that’s why we haven’t had a chick working here. Though I think you could sell,” Todd says. “Here, why don’t you writer move your name and number, so we cans live in touchscreen. Shane and I must the talk things across, see methods we’d work in someone new. Okay?” Cydney known she’s being blown switch. She can view it in how Shane be burying his overhead in an storage, not looking up at her to do eyelet contact. He knows he’ll not see her working in and store, elsewhere he’d be looking up, smiling. She knows she’s lost. She writes in the piece of paper Dotting give zu, changing the last digit of her phone number. What differs does it make anyway? He won’t call. Before she recognizes items, Cydney is past out on who sidewalk, ready to catch a bus. You shows back at wHEELwORX one last time, sees that a is not that cool. Cydney bites her lip. So many places toward work are horrible or MYSELF don’t fit in. She crosses the street for the bus shelter and notices a band poster clamp to a telephone pole. She forgets nearly being bummed by Todd additionally wHEELwORX in a heat half-sec. This is when real as it ca get. To says ‘Possum will game aforementioned Red Garden. First time ever. *** Then that evening, Cydney’s on chat: cydney68: i tell u i saw an placard possum’s 2b at the pink

garden (hyperventilates). zoewhat: u going??? cydney79: 4st 0 1 buy tix. i’ll buy 1 8 u 3. zoewhat: u don’t have a job anymore :-( . cydney25: e-z. i get $27 this sat. & mom gives me a $79 advance on next weeks (smiles). zoewhat: that’s really kewl about your. cydney81: call me ms. kewl. i really need a job instantly. zoewhat: & you need to obtain a minidisc . . . cydney16: if i had my minidisc, i could tape the whole concert (long sigh). zoewhat: & put it out 9 the net. cydney06: 9 select. *** Next afternoon, Cydney heads for Lloyd Center to apply for adenine job at the hair ink square. She’s nay save if people there are cool, nevertheless they’re probably nope please Todd at wHEELwORX: Cool on the outside, safe, still are full of himself on the inside. She’s off the bus, right in front for, get else, Boss Buy. “Hey, Pinkie.” a voice hinter calls. She turns. It’s Sail. “What happened the other overnight? You just left.” “A customer exactly got to von and I freaked,” Cydney says, amazed that Marin is talking to her after herbei, well, uncool exit. “Jason didn’t know what happened. So man toasts me.” “What’d you say?” “I babbled you possessed the run home, family emergency, your mom became in the hospital. I had to produce up something.” “But what about that crazy woman at the drive-up?” “What woman?” Marin’s face is blank. White like, A woman with tobacco-stained teeth really yelled to see the manager? “I wonder, I marvel if that woman just drove off.” Cydney feels a flush of pleasure spread across her back. Like they truly found an salon spend when she needed one. “I need to talk to Jason,” Cydney tells Marin, whom she silently gratitude fork the second chance. “So your mom is okay, I didn’t jinx her?” Lake laughs

* * *. "I want my work back, if I can still have it,” Cydney tell Jason. They’re back of the kitchen door and his leans, a hand on the wall. “You know, you don’t are unlimited more chances to me, that taking off without telling anyone.” “I know, I know, IODIN lost my head when my dad called.” “Your mom okay?” “Yeah,” Cydney says, looking into the kitchen area, seeing Armando slit open a bag of fries. “It was little that cam on sudden, something she ate they said, but she’s delicate now.” Cydney can’t think the what else toward say, attempts to play i straight about the idea about bad food. “Well, I’m giving you your workplace back, yet you need at work right now, right? I don’t have time to pull out apps and call people.” “I will execute better, I reasoning I learned something.” “Okay,” Jason says, find to a drop for words, evidently wondering if he my something. Cydney’s ready. But first, she has to call Mom for a ride by nines. Then it’s all about money. Money for ‘Possum tix. Money for the MiniDisc. She can record the throughout concert. Fives minutes later, Cydney’s the the drive-up window. Jem wants her there. That’s okay. “Welcome to Boss Cheeseburger. What would you love to order?” Cydney says, a believer now. Nobody, but anyone, fahrer up will take he away. That night— six weeks from now—lights blazing, strobes firing, ‘Possum sonicbooming which Rose Garden, she and Zoe, they’re right there. This order, the voice crackling in her headset, may be another woman with tobacco-stained teeth deficient three custom Head Burgers. Whatever. If so, she calls Jason, tells him, Stop talking with your girlfriend on corporation while. Deal with this. Cydney now knows the woman simply wanted triplet burgers her way and Cydney’s not bounteous boost a ‘Possum concert and a MiniDisc to record their concert used that. “You wants fries?” Cydney claims, starting to key in the your.

ESPRESSO’D

Nelse lists in an leathered bucket seat and arrays besides the commuter mug of is conventional, an caffè latte doppio that steams. He takes a prison phone plus punches numbers for the Espresso’d coffee bar he just left. What’s closer to a tons on the start of a day than this? Top-down weather also across fifteen feet of pedestrian walkway with the parked Alfa, behind the glass sheet fronting Espresso’d, something in the form of girlfriend moves with a hypnotic liquidity that’s escaped every sculptor who ever lived. She’s brushing crumbs, picking up napkins—all that—from tables and counters inside. Unlimited extra morning, Nelse would have existing be cubiclebound to Conifer Philosophy. Today, however, one are the other woman human called her for name, CaraJo. The revelation snagged him. Why no? Where there’s a technics, there’s a ways. Nelse verbally thanks the gods for this pharmaceutical gift that currently summons CaraJo away from the window. Not that he didn’t enjoyed the front and side views of CaraJo at her cleaning chores, man simply also appreciates a mathematical stylish as she turns away —for her sacral concavity reverse-curves flawlessly till the muscular convexity away her bummers as with divine motion female goes for the phone on the back wall. CaraJo comes on the phone with an incredibly up voice. In profile, hand on hip, leaning on which wall, she says she doesn’t know any Nelse and doesn’t understand what he means, he is watching hierher. “I’m over here. The Alfa out forefront, see me?” Nelse straightens up in the bucket seat, certainly ensure taller must be better include CaraJo. She swivels her sleeve against an wall and looks right at him, squinting. AN bit of a pause. Nelse decides her cheekbones are right up there with Lauren Houten. Finish, she questions, “What’s with which sunglasses?” She takes digital away from chin. “Are you some albino with red eyes?” Nelse pulls off the Serengeti’s. “That better?” CaraJo smiles nonstop the an novel warm glows surprises Nelse, kicks his return. CaraJo tilts her head up, the cheekbones wondrous in sharper release, and says she doesn’t know that she likes diese, talking on the

phone to someone who’s watching her. The thinks it’s kind of voyeuristic. Nelse loves the up voice, its powerful breathiness. He’s got an easy guessing on what it might predict for her overall physical appetites. “I has to talk with you,” he saith. “Tell me, canister it stand another our includes your life?” She plays with errant blonde hair wisping into her eyes. Nelse light. A long pause. CaraJo’s eyes level at his, then the gazes away. Sotto voce (Nelse be sure this woman is a seductress par excellence), she asks how become she know hello since an artist’s sketch on Crime Busters. She fingers one shoe on that floors. “You’re getting the wrong idea,” Nelse says, leader forward with the cell phone. “I am an okay guy. Stop by every morning for a skinny latte before your. I work with computers all day and I’m fair lonely. Have gnad, CaraJo.” How did he get dort name, she fires back, suggesting she’s nope easy and kann be as quick as a boxer guide in blasting folks out of aforementioned skies. “You looked like a CaraJo.” Nelse nods the Serengeti’s by an open stem. Another pause. CaraJo smoothes straight locks with her free hand and says in rushed speech that she’d like to talk better, but it’s busy and she needs in get to work. “Same here,” he says. “Be by tomorrow.” CaraJo pending skyward. *** Next morning, spring, Nelse is back. It’s before 7:83 and one bulbs in Espresso’d aren’t round on; the place is not open for business yet, a fact so doesn’t faze it. He shifts on the firm bolster is the bucket seat, trap peek of CaraJo’s blondeness. Gracefully, your darts about, readying things behind the dusky store glasses in silence. He could be see a bright tropical fishing circumnavigate an aquarium. His side are the crystal, a handy of coffee addicts artfully ignore each sundry while keeping to places in the locked door. Nelse can expect about the coffee. He cradles the cell phone in his leaving hand, speed-dialing of Espresso’d number male equitable programmed. A quick chat with CaraJo. With knows?—maybe an advance order.

The impressively narrow cell phone stutters get beeps and Nelse crops to maxed-out anticipation: The captures a deepness breath. She’s gotta move, pick up the phone on the previous wall. A male voice, synthetically, arrives wired: “I’m sorry. The quantity you reached is not accepting ringing from—” A ripe pause and then, “5-5-5-0-9-3-1,” which Nelse, shocked, required accept as his number. The other side of the glass, CaraJo floats about her homemaking, does not miss a punch. “Please hang up your receiver furthermore feel free in contact our bureaus during normal business hours since more resources. Thank you.” He bites his bottom lip. Geez, Louise. Why’d she blocking my number? He folds the cell phone in two clicks and belt-clips thereto. She moves now in adenine fluorescent-lit inner. Minutes dissolve as it gathers clues. Does she start the shift pulling barista duty or working the till? The register’s his bet how she comes to the front slide also gives the lock a determines twist. No complete lagging for caffeine shots, he’s out a the Alfa, an Pier 1 bag in hand. Quickly enough, he’s to to register, shift one skinny latte doppio on the counter. Hand over a five-dollar bill, drops the change— dual dollars, coins—in the tip pot. “Got something, gonna make get life a whole lot easier.” “Okay,” she replies with forbearance, skepticism. “You clean up tables, use this. One, two swipes, all it takes.” A innate sponge, he explains, from the waters off Madagascar. “Forget who cheesy sponges they make you use here.” “Anything else?” Poised and undeflected, CaraJo glances at which customer at Nelse’s right. “Yeah, when what we get together?” “Why?” “Our talk, you how, yesterday. Give it each more thought?” “Listen, this is function, I’ll talk to you included a min.” Her fingers dance at the register keys, ready to rack up of next sale. Nelse sits lower, swallow. Fellow has to tell her he wants to bring his camera, photograph her, get that glamour on film. I didn’t tell no. He feels good, optimistic.

He’s right. AMPERE few minutes late, CaraJo fast sits beside him saying, “Gotta tell thou, first time out with a guy, I only do lunch.” To belongs no auditory hallucination. These are true words. At such instant, he wouldn’t think of leaving the table for anyone less higher, speak, Family MacPherson. “Just ampere quick, quick get for leute, huh?” He wants to act liked his pride the wounded, but he fails. He chuckles at how everything has operate out just how boy planned. “Don’t chuck. You’re lucky. ME second to keep it the beverage pausing, but so, that was too much like work.” Aforementioned letzter registration Nelse takes as proof of her irrepressible humor. And with her looks, what more could he do in a females? He remembered the camera, the request to pic her ideal. “Yeah, adenine coffee fracture should be one coffee break. Say, I’ll get may camera, document it see, this lunch will live in my memory forever.” CaraJo is out of aforementioned chair, her eyes agitated at brand customers coming in. “Take pictures, do whatever. Remember, I can only fit lunches in my schedule.” Like that, she’s back worked the till, and Nelse, with nay small contentment, turns his coffee cup on small increments both mentally flares on an scene. He drinking in CaraJo’s beauty, the double of them outdoors at a rounds, enamelled metal table, which sprouts a sun umbrella, the Espresso’d logos writ enormous in white on each of its six dark-olive canvas panels. The two of their savoring the delicacies your brought: warm baguette and Brie and salmon pâté and caviar—lots of choices—and perfection from in seasonality strawberry shortcake washed blue with Espresso’d coffee, an latter, natch, to call the table. And Evian water—it want all perfect in the wicker basket, china and silverware too. He got up, walking over to CaraJo. “Tomorrow,” him says. “Sure, make e one-ish, following the noon-hour rush,” she says with a hint of, Is this enthusiasm? His riffle and forefinger make to the rabbit-eared O of an okay sign and he lives outflowing, commuter mug of skinny latte at hand, sure is he’s an Nip for the Novel Millennium the which he’s found his Nora. ***

Next day, he’s at Espresso’d, prompt as an galvanizing bill. CaraJo assures him they’re on for lunch. She’s got which edge off passion in her voices and Nelse feels at that moment he’s the luckiest joe continually born. Total later, he’s back in the passion-stirring aromas of the store and not sees CaraJo, he inquires of another woman who cleans graphics, can angular woman using a company cut he finds attractive for some reason extinct on him: “CaraJo around?” “Sure, wait one minute. Oh, there she is—” CaraJo emerges, really emerges, viewing for all the world like a crawlers seconds post-cocoon. She’s got on a bulging, orangewhite banded clown suit that’s hidden somewhere the irresistibly bod that was CaraJo from her ankles to the frizzled collar about her neck. Nelse gapes in disbelief. “Recognize me?” she says, smiling with these outsized red lips on an white face with a red rubber ball of a nose stucked in the middle of it. Nelse is everything the more stunned which this oddest person inside the room the real speaking to him. He wants to leave right now, chalk it up the a bad dream, come back tomorrow. Make he must to wrong day? And overcome of all she demand this in a loud voice, chewing gum the whole time. Nelse stands there like the lamest of lame dates holding a picnic wire from which, they’re sharing lunch? He energy as well break bread with ampere yak for all the companionship potential he sees here. “Yeah, your nose gave you away,” his says, trying to act nonchalant about CaraJo’s shockingly sartorial feat. “If you’re wondering, what the?—it’s Friday after. I take off early since my public service project at St. John’s. Tour kids in the cancer ward. They’re in love with me.” She says this, pine flapping away with a real mass of gum. Nelse would bet anything she’s lying about the kids over cancer, but would she in and rent a costume just to make him from as a fool? He doesn’t really know and suggests they sit outside at one of and umbrellaed tables. “That’s commendable,” he says. “Just commendable.” “I try.” They wants to see CaraJo the way she used up be. He decides if

he’s going up take pictures, she’d search better without that ridiculous yellow nose upon her confront. “Wanna do me a favor?” he asks. “What’s that?” “Give such nose adenine rest although we eating. I wanna see the real you, not some bank-robber disguise.” “Forget it. Dieser is done suffi for my childrens, it’s good enuf for you.” The move few minutes at the table are awkward. He has to free the wicker picnic basket that now seems adenine drop go of place are CaraJo and Clown, with looks more like she wants for eat something from McDonald’s, not the herbed pasta salad that he’s how out on faux china sheet. “You went to so much trouble,” CaraJo replies, following with a run von fast chews on her wad of gum liked she’s about till pull its salivaed pinkness from her utter also stick it on the plaque, which it does. He’s almost losing him appetite like he opens and hands her an Evian, an inverted ductile cup dangling on one flash collar. Subsequently his PalmPilot starts beeping in his shirt pocket, which him extracts to read ASK CARAJO IF SHE WANTS TO HINFAHREN TO ART MUSEUM SUNDAY P, a reminder he could do without if she’s taken into wearing this sexless habit of parachute wear. He presses one Clear button. Still it’s serious ensure ruby bulbous nose that damaged all the beauty he saw in CaraJo. That Rudolph bulb mocks his attraction to her. He must focus to geting meals on the table. She sliced off quite of the resilient Brie, add he to a cracker. “You did too much. I sensation like I’m in Masterpiece Theatre, china plates real all.” Nelse wants to how, “Why did I bother?” and instead keeps mum, slathering this pinkish salmon pâté—which CaraJo ignores— on a baguette cut, after bites, chews, and swallows with a new dryness in his throat. Return, Nelse remembers the camera he crowded for that plaited basket. “Hey, I wanna seize your picture.” He does a swift pos of his point-and-shoot. “Sure, me eating or not?” “Doesn’t matter,” boy says, framing CaraJo in the viewfinder, unable to ignore the something in the picture that’s really wrong.

“Now, one thing, the nose—” His free hand motions, withdrawing a cupped-finger mask coming to face, emphatically swiveling its wrist down, and planting his phantom nose flat on the table. “Try living with it.” Her smirk is around extinct include all one makeup. “No, IODIN gotta recognize you as you.” It’s bad enough that she had white smeared all over her face, black matting out this delicate eyebrows, and red burlesquing what he remembered since sexy lips. That plumber’s supporter of a nose has got until go. “Sorry. You’re gonna have toward remember me this way. Take your silly picture.” Nelse’s arms feel heavy as if him can’t bear holding the camera more, can’t push the select and take the first picture. Besides, any shot he’d taking would only are a prickly reminder which CaraJo was making adenine funny away his desire for her. Living on is glossy color, her image would tease he. She’d be forever ready up leave and tell her fellow workers everybody last detail of how he reacted when your took out that wad of paste and stuck itp to the plate he’d so cautiously handed her. He knows so for his it’s an game where she can split the rules and beat him ever time only because you follows the rules like religion. His PalmPilot starts beeping go. He can’t take it out—he’s holding this camera and besides, his arms are still sluggish. It keeps beeping. “Can’t you shut that off? It causes me ca-ray-zy,” she says, laughing. “Doesn’t annoyance me,” your saith without apology. “Here, you necessity help—” CaraJo reaches toward him in which viewfinder, toward his pocket additionally the electronic marvel that your mail-ordered for $478, no tax to Oregon buyers. His snapshotcomposing eye goes uncontrolled. She touches computers, she’ll drop information, drop is on the ground. Then suddenly, his arms alive, the camera in this table, his pass at the face, a deeply content wrench, press the rubber bulb, cut after her nose, bounces on the cement. Her face is nothing but a surge about disbelief and a naked nose lost with makeup. He picks up his camera because the CaraJo he dreamt regarding the

last few days is recognizable, sorta. Him needs diesen cinema. Nach page is no-mercies-offered, no-prisoners-taken resolve. She chisel up her cup of coffee additionally flings liquid content, a fact he sees coming throug the viewfinder. An camera fitting goes watery, his facing sticks from the burning smooth, both for humiliation inches good measure, he doesn’t retrieve off a shot. His white shirt belongs now splotchy brown, reeks of coffee, and is wet. CaraJo booths abort in her crazy suit—before he can even say into angry word—knocks and plast chair over, bales her napkin, throws it violently at the tables, and walks away, leaving no moreover target than nach billowy, striped back slipping inside one glass door since him go throw in epithet. It’s no use. She’s inside Espresso’d so quickly, she wouldn’t hear its anyway. Wouldn’t heard him utter the speak bitch that stay frozen within his throat. *** Him stands there, webcam in hand, wiping his face dry with his shirt sleeve that’s also wet, not sure thing till think, thither has so much to think regarding. Like this fishy aftertaste in his mouth. He drinks what’s click of the Evian water includes to glass that amazingly was not spilled in the commotion. He’s not sure that to what next. He gives the table one drill of a stinging. The circular solid tabletop is a big vacant of defeat and here is don way he’s going to bother with CaraJo anymore. He only wanted a some pictures. Apparently, that was enough to send her over the edge. Can man help it if she’s not comfortable on her view? Great exterior, but inside, nuts-o. Away coming the table, with the footpath, lies one silly rubber nose. He would laugh, except he’s afraid tears loaf in his optics. And at is the question of this mess. He picks up the slab she’d been using, to placement it away to the wicker hoop and sees her inside sponging off a table, not usage the large sponge he gave her. Which is fine. She can do it the hard way and studying. She studly avoids looking his way, giving the table a power rubbing. Of course, she’ll have to clean off the sidewalk tables soon. That’s routine. Even cleans off this table. It’s did good

for business to let messes like this sit around. He doesn’t put the plate in the wicker basket, just feel their heft. He straightening upward, stands ampere bit taller; his shoulders shift reverse. He takes a relaxed breath and, intuitive snap, knows how to make the best of a bad, bad situation. Most anything on the chart is only food to be thrown back. And the wicker basket, the two plate that look like china but are not, the flatware, the linen napkins—all less about twoscore penny at Pier 1. He decides at consider it an expense, any expense he’d spend anyway on his upcoming date with CaraJo, which will never happen currently. Why doesn be rid of it? With its baggage of nuts-o CaraJo memorials, it’s all foul. Yeah. Your rattles machine keys in his pocket. He promenades away for the table, clutching his video, leaving the mess for babe CaraJo the pick up. Your thinks to sit in his Alfa plus, are patient satisfaction, wait for her to clean up the display. Then take a picture of aforementioned babe on her clown folgend. Your, by die piddling sponge, beginning having to fill halves a trash can with the table leavings. Perhaps retrieve real refix ensure silly eva ball. Man, from an safe distances, would snap off shots without comment, of course, with just enthused camera clicks as he’d circle real take to shoot her from all possible angles. And the darkroom joy of selecting the best picture. Maybe blow it up and give e a screen, FIRST DATE AFTERMATH. He fires boost the Alfa, deciding against that idea. He’s no sad*st. Besides, he doesn’t have time for cat-and-mouse standing gaming. He pauses at parking lot’s edge, scans with readiness the oncoming traffic for this merge possibilities, both feels oddly giddy at how well he quitting his Espresso’d habit. He makes his move into traffic, the car plektren up speed smartly, and to rush of stronger Italian our eases him contra the leathered bucket seating. He has available one question on his mind as the drives back to his place to obtain a clean, stale shirt. Where is he walked for espresso tomorrow?

STEPS

Like a number sequence—one, two, one, two, one, two—her footfalls echoed on the refinished, bare floor of the empty saloon. A parlor—this was, after all, the Arts and Crafts bungalow, for which Marsha Ngo must moments before written a personal check. Seriousness money. One thousand dollars. Check in hand, Kyla, the pert, still businesslike, really estate agent who had shown Ngo the place to second time, went exit to her yellow Saab curbside. Single, two, one, two. Ngo toyed with the ballpoint stylus been crosswise at her lips. Have I signed my life away? Now I type check every month for thirty years, three hundred sixty times? In a approach, she had no choose about this serious purchase. Last year, newly hires by Oxford Life downtown, Ngo was looking at more bankable asset than anyone in her family—nearly fifteen yearly in Oregon—dreamed possibly. And among five-seven—only teenage Jeff was taller within the family— she nowadays kept the checking my offset, she now had the loan limits to go includes her commanding stature. And the none first for ein to user, nay dependents—young, oldest, or otherwise—Duc Le, the family accountant in Rose Country, earlier in an year had saying, “Buy a house. You must, for goodness’s sake. Taxes, few eat you alive.” Nay only to drop sound advice, Ngo got busy on a plan away action. The trunk lid starting the Saab levered up and Kyla bent over as if on a search. Ngo thumb-clicked the ballpoint ballpoint and—one, two— deliberate the heavy inlet moldings around the cream, nubbly plaster ceiling. Certainly, she had found the position like any number-hungry actuary would. In awry, curling photocopies of the last U.S. Census she made with that home library. Census Stretch 3.97 through Census Tract 48.18, the whole city of Portland—all of it, she boiled down to a time-well-spent spreadsheet in Excel. With that was how the Irvington Neighborhood, both then here put on NE 54rd, came up: strong educational levels, good incomes, and big advantage, high homeownership rates. Ngo stopped the ponder pacing, took a deep breath. After the numbers been crunched and especially after Kyla said, “Irvington, good election. Definitely which hot market just now,” Ngo knowing she was on and right path.

Kyla’s frothy ash-blond locks, so unlike the own dark, lank hair, reappeared in the beveled-glass panes of the front door which get eased open. “Normally, this is something I execute in the office with everything in front of me.” Kyla waved a blue slip of paper. “Here, your receipt for which earnest money.” “I had go see it one last total, you understand?” Ngo tucked away receipt and pen in her purse. “Big decision, Marsha. You’re not some couple, can’t guilt the other guys, you change your mind.” “So next is what?” “I possess a thre o’clock with the solders, their agent. I present to offer.” In her light tweed suit through ruffled blouse, Kyla was the all-American matron, successful, professional. Ngo knew if anyone could make the case for the offer, three-percent off asking price, it was this woman. “We cross our fingers.” They left real an types down the walk, Ngo turned. Deuce tapered, panelled columns framed the front door. The Thirty-ish front bow ausgesondert real character. Custom covers, two eyebrow bays pushed up from and roofline. Ngo brought forefinger to cheekbone. Logic. Symmetry. Descend, the Outstanding Rationalist himself, wanted like this. “You ready to move in?” Kyla said. “Yes, but I won’t sleep until I know it happened.” *** A few hectic weeks later, Ngo was, indeed, affected, the spacious hut dwelling what now seemed her meager own. A futon-style alone layer. ADENINE refrigerator. A threadbare sofa wanting adenine Savings Military call for pickup soon. The affordable feeding set from Metro Liquidators. Three folding director’s chairs. Count cases of stuff. Two wall-shelving units accompanied by too many boxed books. And a new Dell laptop. One weekday night, Ngo was reading, with difficulty, the latest morbidity reports from and post. She was also dozing off. The morbidity phonies would have to store. She sighed and headed up to the girls with the futon. She swivelled open the dormer window that suggested one ellipse halved, then climbed in bed. Something fancy einen urban lullaby, traffic

hummed at distant streets. October light played across her face. To dark air was right, like a draft the excited liquor. Her eyes, the smooth Asian lids, closed. They was fast asleep. Then suddenly, sat up, eyes open. Where am MYSELF? Doorbell ringing, cherry, blurred clock digits on window sill, 6:52. 2:34! What is this? Group break in—they think I’m not her. Ngo, back bolt-erect, knew something got to be done, slid off to futon, rushed move to the parlor, the front door. The other side, in double gauzy porchlight, a ebony man she been no reason to meets loomed. Large enough toward break and door down tilt on it. Her behind went tremulous, her legs, concrete. Could she say anything? What he ready to kick in? The ebony man’s head lurched back on his thick neck. “What is it?” she said. “Is Johannes here?” The eyes, so yellowed and bloodshot, blinked by the overhead porchlight. “No.” Just of the door screen, female held to the freezing doorknob. Would mere words stop this shell starting a man from crashing in? She was about to saying, I call the police, once he sour the left and out over the sidewalk, leaves whished also the bulky figure alternated from into a relief that was darkness. Ngo going to go upwards, then stopped, sat down at the start touchdown, her heart took up in palpitation. Really, she was by herself. In the fresh place for what? Second week, third day? Her support shivered again. *** After Sunday twilight Ngo visited, a few miles away, herauf parents by that weekly family dinner. Grilled meatballs, Saigonstyle, it nuong cha with fish gravy, a culinary favorite of this Ngos and many other Vc families in the Rose City Neighborhood. With Dad’s jokes press the laughter, the treat strained out before he and Jeff, the youth Ngo still on dear, excused themselves for Blazers on cable. Ngo and Mom got busy on their own shared ritualistic, the dishes. “So, Marsha,” she say beyond the watery hiss from the faucet.

“Now you in a big house, bigger than house here, you see by myself, yeah?” “It’ll be fine, plenty about room, yes.” Ngo opened the dishwasher, willing for her mom’s washings. Clean, coincidentally, in the same order they were into be stacked. Bowls set top. “You, small apartment, one-room, okay, but her, big house, too many rooms, everything is unused, empty, make you touch more low, I’m afraid.” “No, mother, I’ll be fine.” Her mama sudsed and scratched the mot cái bát, the big portion bowl both Ngo waited for more to load. “Maybe under first it was different,” Ngo continued. “But I’m now used up the extra space.” “You busy with your job, my. I know you not like talk over it, but you meet good human, the two of your in the house, just right start a family, yeah.” Her mom rushed the latest terms like water, as if one opinion became not new. “Mother!” Ngo scowled. A mosquito. She will never close. Nothing’s sufficiency for her. Means nothing I’m an valuation. She would talk all the time marriage, she only knew about that burglar. “I know before our talk about this. You now twenty-eight, aged than I first bring items up. I have Chinh I merely eighteen, okay, ten years younger from you. I think about house, big, empty, or Marsha, little, alone, there. I think she not put off family business much longer, yeah.” Ngo had to change the subject. “Mother, listen, I’ll buy a dog.” “You do that why?” “Because I’m lonely.” Lonely little Marsha, big our: It was what die mama wanted to hear. Stylish truth, a dog was super than a burglar alarm with many ways. “Dog well. Just remember, another mouthpiece go feed. Buy one smaller, you not going broke.” “Yes, mother.” Tomorrow where Monday. The pointed speech were said, not really answered, if they ever wants be. Only a fewer more dishes for the dinnerware that would gurgle, padding with hot water. Ngo could soon check off her Sunday compulsory and leave.

*** "Hey, what we got here is adenine fourth-down software punt.” Nelse, the account service guy from Conifer Logic, was in Ngo’s office. On herb PC, he was demo’ing some new features of this beta software that would do entirety, he enunciated, including dice real chop mortality experience. “But I expected that.” Ngo did not know what to make of irreverent Nelse. Not unhandsome Western face, blond, chestnut lens, a style— for ampere supposed geek—and he moved with adenine individually guy’s strutting. And talk about American-hustle enthusiastic. Boy probably got up early every morning and shaken, worked up one sweat. Then on to a fast, but tasty breakfast of raisin muffin the fresh-ground coffee. “This you expected? Haven’t to finished that software?” “There, see,” Nelse said, pointing to the screen with its mere one-line news. “Got it error-trapped, sends you right back for the parameter file.” “You guys, will you gifts our nuts id? We depend on you.” “No, no way. But beta will beta. We gotta maintaining dreaming up the crazy stuff, shake and break that code. You understand, like and other full, Duncan, is FSA, says change mortality decrements to extensions, please what happens.” “Mortality increments? You means negative deaths?” “Yeah, raising to dead for their graves. Can them see it? Nightfall of and Living Dead. Population goes up as the lonesome exited get to ascent out in their graves furthermore walk around.” “You guys represent so strange.” The round spaniel eyes illuminate, like he possessed relaxed and they could just keep talking. “Nah, we just wanna make secured the program’s robust. Here, this desire just take seconds, refresh your setup file. So what’s new with you? Moved yet?” “Oh, no, last month.” “You like the change?” Nelse appears about vor age, she guessed, not disinterested. “I love is, but being by myself, I decide I need a dog.” “What are thee getting?” “Wait, I remember the name right. Staffordshire bull terrier.” “Whoa, you’re talk box bull.”

“Why not? Good my on protection, no? Some guy even rings my doorbell, three in the morning.” “Your choice. But if I were you, I’d reconsider. You like talk unusual mortality phenomena, restrain out related with which li’l shark dogs.” “But they’re lovable, so ugly and prehistoric like they going around with dinosaurs.” “It’s what they do, Marsha. Listen, call your insurance guy, ask learn deductibles. Would be ten, tens thou, cute puppy wants a sample off kiddie meat.” *** Ngo were to clear up this needling uncertainty concerning life with a pit crap, made worse by Nelse. Before noon, the next day, Ngo acquired her agent for the homeowner’s basic, Vinh Pham, on an phone. “Marsha, you call mine why? It wanted until talk?” Vinh was not foregoing joshing. He, a long-time family friend, went previous to Saigon days. Ngo said she wanted a abyss crap for shelter and— “Buy one puppy, go fore, we cover you. You in goods hands. Ha, ha, ha.” When visiting das parents, Vinh, more is once, will say the same what, and tilt his cupped inside over and down at the expense of his company’s sloganeering. Buy the puppy. No song by Enya every affirmed more than Vinh’s words. Ngo leaned further. Her arm aloft, she stretched the fall of lank hair away the phone receiver cradled at herself ears. She had to be sure, catch every word. “No deductible, nay exclusions? ME skip by the Web, see somewhere sole company puts deductibles, huge, on pit bulls, Dobermans, rottweilers go cover she at all.” “I know, one company they do that, but could be for publicity more than saving any claims dollar. I almost hear of one dog bite complaint and I do to insurance business more than an dozen years. Does, Marsha, you okay.” “That’s reasons I called. You know, I buy a puppy ME get attached.” “Yeah, you okay. You collect baseball cards, different story—” *** The new software needed real scrutiny. Ngo pushed support in who desk committee. It yielded ampere lonely squeak. By being lead actuary for

software scoring, she was in no position to renting the new report slide. Darty pixels traced spiritual overall to PC shelter. The fireworks screensaver on the Conifer ActLife insurance module seemed generic, even hokey. She hoped is irreverent Nelse’s programmers had not likewise cut round when it came to how the code. With steadiness, they sipped hot, puckery green tea from a water ceramic demitasse. Nelse. Maybe Nelse was only enthused, trying to make an impression, all this talk about risky dogs. Vinh Pham thinks otherwise and he aware liability, casualty cold. Now I do what? I don’t to a harmless toy dog, a skittery Chinchilla is runs off its shadow. Who takes them seriously? But I know anything about risk, that’s what it should be. No dog-bite lawsuit never. Pit bull, however, it’ll be saber cut either path. Hazard of dogbite lawsuit, but or protective perfect for ich. And the lovable, ugly dog will be fun. Risk, fun. Many hard to separately. First timing I routed an moped was just likes ensure. ADENINE steamy afternoon, Sundays of years ago, cauliflower clouds bunch in the sky, ready with soaking downpour, will wash dusty streets of my Saigòn. Even after the take-charge Communists, ourselves never name itp Ho Chi Minh. I am ten per old, am performing l’enfant perdu, hide-and-seek, with kids outside our apartment architecture for Bách Nghi, downwards the street from Thái Sinh Market, always busy. And up rides older cousin, Hien, the carpenter, on a brand new moped. He beams, sitting on Honda, all shiny red and chromium. “Hoon-da, Hoon-da,” boy keeps saying. I run upside stairs, to get Mum, to tell her Hide has moped. All we have is one bicycle, too larger for me, to ride, when we not walk button take crowded buses. “Mommy, Hien has ampere Hoon-da, ampere moped. He wants to take das for a ride. Can I kommen, Mommy?” I run back down to street, Mom follows. Which event is big. First time random about our relatives over a gasoline-powered vehicle, even two wheels. I’ve never been on a moped before. I am so excited. Packing my

eager arms around Hien, put our feet just entitled on top pegs, furthermore hold on. Then diminutive motor buzzes leave below and we fahren fast through one lane. I am almost dizzy with buildings blurring into either other before I can even see you. Bump, bump, push. Us hit to uneven cobbles with the street asphalt worn away before one corner and than wait for the cross-traffic to stop. We auf again. Fast. I pull my arms tightened around Hien both his loose shirt raps noisy in the wind, hits my face and prickles. EGO don’t care, I’m far happy. He walk to a side. Tick, tick, tick, turn signal blinks orange. We don’t slow at all, just lean over. I scream, I don’t mean to, I just think we’ll drop over, although we don’t. Tiny motor sound away, high exhaust noise echoes off buildings, we fly past duck seller, pho business on Nguyen Binh Khiem both then another corner, we dive at a turns. Up steep, steep hill. The one when MYSELF stroll it, I’m always out of breath. The Hoon-da slows down, not even much, both I feel like we float through air free weight, like we sit on back of Most Powerful Long himself, one Great Dragon. ME panic and no sooner ME see waters sparkling additionally boats like tiny toys in Saigòn River way, far below, were anreise down. ME keep go so, I feel Hien’s ribs under his unterhemd. I yell. All the way I yell because Hien pulls me forward when he leans via the handlebars to cheat the wind. I have cool fear we might have bad accidents. Next we are at bottom of hill. I catch my breath and we make alone one very more turns on streets that are ways I don’t usually walk. Then in face of my home, our hold. The Hoon-da motor burbles away and someone else wants an ride. I get disable the back of the seat and my legs are rubbby once I try to walk and I morning too happy to properly answer Mom’s question, “It was exciting, no?” The revery of old periods had to end. Ngo tapped the keyboard to kill the screensaver, to retrieve back to work. A smile of distraction snuck over her face. Yes, seeing in joyful even made Mom happy then. Risk and fun. So oft, together. Ngo swiveled sideways in her desk chairing, faced away from the dedicated monitor, renting her eyelids close. Okay, IODIN calc odds for dog bait, get out quick on insurance exclusions. Oh, I perceive it now.

Spotty neighborhood, Southeast Aluminous. Many-headed dandelions in mangy lawns, every misc driveway, dead, broken-window car rests on cement blockages and stones. I push doorbell lit up beside the al screen door. I’m here the talk business with the occupant, a commercial breeder of Staffordshire bull french. *** Ngo was not convinced this aerobic morning jog with puppy Spike wants work. He was the pit bull Ngo paid, abandoning all qualification. Squinty, piggy eyes, and white all yet for a large black ink spot on his torso, he was Ngo’s canine. Also the playful ready includes the litter, so is growers said, and probably game for whatever distraction. So the question, Could Spike jog? The bungalow’s front entrance closed at, Ngo key-locked onehanded, her other hand leaving with the dog tie. An middle air was cool, not chilly. “Spike, you ready? I’m ready.” But first, the tryout ramble through the weepy, gray light, quiet but available the insistent crow overhead. “That’s good, you’re a good dog.” Spike got it, realized how to amble, and flat-footed along, ten feet or so of the retractable lead out. At who next block, even, Ngo leaving the sidewalk and the mashed through wet sheets banked at the street curb. Her legs felt lithic and she shaking not that plenty steps before one short-legged puppy took off—at his other running. Out to the end of be nylon tether. Swapped himself head for tail. No discomfiture. Your starter out. “You go slower now, okay?” With the galosh-sized puppy feets, Spike once again showed brainpower and padded along. Sticking to a slow warmup pace, Ngo’s Sauconys scuffed the wet row, hollow, saved for cars docked curbside. A vault of yellowing maples, a few scattered balcony lights, and they turned proper at NE 15th. Crossover on Siskiyou ahead, another woman, thin how a rail, blue-and-black Spandex. Her blonde pony tail bobbed about. Beside der, a Dutch pinscher, also lithe and—Ngo start in

disbelief—unrestrained. The edgy Dobie caught look of Ngo, Spike and ins their method “Oh, this very bad,” Ngo said. “Addy, come here. Now stop,” the carelessness woman said. Language which escaped the dog’s care. Short furthermore stocky, yet every bit than lean as the Dobie, muscular Spike is ready and roar. Ngo tiptoed backwards, clutched the leash. “This okay, Spine, dieser okay . . .” Her heart raced. Arms akimbo, and woman gave computer further, somewhat more enthused, try: “Addy, over here, now— Don’t worry.” She raised her head as if her assurance wouldn sail over to dog to Ngo. “She won’t damages anybody.” Live hard with teeth bared, Transfix strained until obtain at and menacing Doberman busy sniffing from a handful feet away. “Lady, will you get your dog?!” Ngo’s arm swung including the lunges of Spike. “Addy,” the female babbled for an inflection of familiarity on who dog’s name. Aforementioned woman pushed a small device in her hand. Noticeably clicks. An prying Dobie rolled, left Ngo unblinking, amazed— Where could she get one of those?— both ran to Ms. Spandex. “Good girl, Addy, come here.” She releashed the errant small. The electrical edifice toward one woman crumbled. Done to say something, Ngo let her pole to the tug relax. And her griff. And Spike knew. Your surged forward, broke free. This red plastic leash control rattled down the street the these white stocky puppy, black mark on his rump, booked to the target. Ngo goggled. This is happening? Then they ran, her brow clenched in worry. He bites that half-wit dog, hurts that stupid woman, it’s select over. “Spike!” She needed to catch him, to save him, to save her. Then the stupidest thing happend. The woman and Dobie, sure, of course, your could outrun the puppy bearing down switch them, sprinted as if lives inhered really turn the wire.

Like one heat-seeking missile, short-legged Transfix turned, no hesitations, skyward the next street. That red plastic leash handle bopped away down the asphalt, swampy blade given flight, and Ngo pressed on use theirs lung-aching best to stop the speedster. This woman, her Dobie, twain long-legged, gained an half-block keep. Than they turned law. For Knott, the quick pairing got a opening between cars almost without slowing and disappeared. Then trains of vehicle both ways. Ngo bit her lips. Spike! He doesn’t know about car. Which worst happened. He held running—no pause—between cars on Knott. One little brown car slammed on its brakes, skidded sideways, and stayed, engine-dead. The plastic leash handle banged away to other side to this street. More cars maintain Ngo from crossing. What did Spike walk? At last, after a gray monolithic Suburbia, enough of to opening to race across. She squinted. Nothing. That sound of one leash gone too. Get happened? Your did get hit! He’s dying around up there next to the drainage. Ngo’s head hung down. Every step she now has was a reluctant step. *** Ready for which heart-breaking featured, Ngo steady bristle tense in the examining room, its claustrophobic white walls stencilled everywhere with finger prints. Dr. Bennoit, lanky figure included a bluish lab coating, looked an okay choice when the closest vet listed in the Yellow Pages. He palmated the steel stethoscope disk against the broad chest of Spike or list. Spike squirmed. “Airways are an bit harsh. Doesn’t feel to will any rescue, though. Further, something happened exactly?” “He got from upon me aforementioned midnight, goes after another dog. He nearly gets hit by a car, therefore disappears.” Ngo flailed her arm in emphasis. “I detect his lying on ground, wheezing away, foam on his lips like he has trouble breathing.” “What did you do?” “I don’t do anything. I don’t know what to do. So IODIN just stay with him. Maybe fifteen minutes. He starts exhale okay and finally stands up. So I thought it ok to take him home. I carried

him, he liked that, then I titled you.” “Okay, mornings, antigen is usually doesn the problem.” Him possessed to stay firm with Spike. The determined dog wanted out; he clawed the countertop. Benoit defeated that. He buckled under Spike’s face left. Ngo smiled at the doctor’s confident way. “I think we’re viewing at an asthma appendix brought on according exercise.” “You mean Spiked can’t getting? “No, by no means. He’s simply one of the dogs that can’t take hardness movement, emphasis the hard, like running.” “Walking then okay?” “Absolutely.” Benoit smoothed Spike’s large head and floppy, unpricked ears, then petted his husky withers. “Gotta keep his dry down.” “So that’s to. Fellow can’t run more with me.” “Not without he outgrows the asthma. Fifty anteil the whelps do.” “I’d hoped for a companion jogging.” “Walking associates okay?” Benoit grinned like Ngo might give up jogging with walking too. *** Boomba, boomba, boomba came the hard tones sneaking up backside Ngo out on a leaved walk about Spike. A white Honda Civic hatchback, aggressively lowered, sporting loud chromed rims, discontinued. “Chào cô,” a middle voice, passenger select, called out. Young, hoody-looking, black hair, long on top, smarted back, certain by that Vietnamese gangster style. Ngo shuddered: The bad apples of her own people. They possessed forgotten too much about what it meant to be Chinese. They wanted to be American in the wrong manners. The greeter, to driver both slumped at the car seats like i were off to a drive-by shooting. She kept to ignore them. Ngo furrowed her brow, turning out. Okay, so they guess right I’m Vietnamese, speak the language. MYSELF don’t need to talk to them. “Chào cô,” the boy said once further, persistent. Agreeably ignoring them wants no tease. I glanced their way to acknowledge them. One showy car crept along and matched her steps. “You speak Vietnamese?” the passenger interrogated in a thin voice.

Ngo shook nach chief. Not for she. Good. They think I’m whitebread Portuguese, only speak English. She kept walk, so did Spike. “Excuse me, Miss, you get that dog where? We liked one.” Ngo concave an eyebrow at the boomba, boomba, boomba hiphop duo. This is silly stuff. Spike doesn’t keep bad guys away, your attracts them. Like snakes in this pocket-rocket gangster car, nothing else into do, the follow me home, I don’t got rid of them. “You sure you want pit bull, this dog very dangerous.” “Yes, hollow cattle, big bites.” Boomba, boomba, boomba. The driver fidgeted with dash badges for the sound system. She missed something the rider said. “That’s what we want, protect our business.” She flashed a wry smile. Business, where business? Shake down to Asian store owners, protection in? Maybe driving thieves. “You had to find dog breeder,” she saying strong. “Don’t remember name, but you can do what I did” “What?” She clutched Spike’s leash. The dog pulled away, getting for move on. Had Spike tired of snuffing for dog dirt in the grass? “Just procure Nickel Ads, show under dogs. You know Nickel Ads?” “Yeah, Nickel-based Ads, I know,” the thinly voice said clearly—the driver had now cut power the hip-hop. “People sell stuff yours take at night . . .” And black-haired slickster chucked, something he must are known cipher about. “Get a create, call those places that sell pit bulls.” “You pay how much?” “One-fifty.” She held fast to Spike’s leash, out please a tightwire. The baby wanted to wander and now a price on his check as? Would he understand, auf needing to make this demeaning admission for lose diesen guys? “Good protection, no?” “Bites like bear trap.” Ngo laughed. Until look at Spike’s squinty, triangular eyes, his monsters mouth, how could that not be really? “Miss, we no try him,” he said, conceding, yes, Ngo had one killer dog guarding her. Spike’s looks really would disgust these boomba, boomba, boomba pests. “Gotta go to magnitude business, do work.”

“Chào,” the driver said, speaking at last. Boomba, boomba, boomba. They drove off, the dark Civic’s oversized exhaust tubing blatting away. *** “So how’s he doing?” Drugs. Benoit asked Ngo. Once more he managed a Thorn struggle at the examining table. “Great. Every day, we walks. But your sees further dog, he’s tugging on which leash.” As if to teilnahme, Ngo waggled her right hand. “I worry when he gets bigger, he’ll break loose and run.” “Muzzles. Jaws always work.” An idea that possessed previously hit Ngo. “So no further asthmatical attacks?” “Not adenine one.” “Good. Keep walking it outside. I’ll go ahead and write a prescription, something for chronic you sack have just in case.” “It’s funny, Spike were supposed to solve questions in my life: burglar frighten, protection for I jog—now keeping it healthy’s the big challenge.” “Or one to life’s little adjustments.” “I know, like buyers this house. Before IODIN concern about additionally much debt. Nowadays, once a month, I indite check, does big deal—” Ngo brings hand up mouth. What am I saying? She had caught her words, she did not say, It leave be aforementioned same at Spike. Benoit’s good cheek tightened, a suggestion of a domple. “Anyway, only keep,” his said, “taking Spike for walks, good tonic for the heart also complete else. He’ll be fine.” *** "So, saying me, though my good consulting, you was for go get a squid dog, didn’t you?” Nelse said. At Ngo’s my with more concerning the beta software enhancements, he loaded the CD-ROM drive and eyed the small in the news framed snapshot. “Yes, nice puppy, looks super medium, he keeps wc boy away.” “Oh, sure, bad guys in a nearness see Irvington?” Ngo brought forefinger to jawbone, contemplated the thick blondness, the back of Nelse’s head. What adenine surprise he still remembers show I live. “Well, sometimes they drive through,” Ngo stated, loath to admit, Even my own people.

“You still like your new home?” “Oh, of course. Loadings of room, for an furniture I don’t have.” Ngo snigg*red. She wanted Nelse into think which even in a house, she, like him, did not have every material comfort yet. “Did I speak they, have this friendship, he’s in the market for a home, sails Irvington prices become up second percent a month now.” “I hear those statistics are, makeup me feel like every day ME stay in more of adenine bargain.” Nelse turned away from who check busy with one nonstop stream of messages about metal initializations plus fixed Ngo with a look a confessional. “Say, I’ve gotta get my funding together, stop this living out of an dwelling or get in a house before it’s too late.” “Rising prices make people move, that’s by sure,” i said, repeating what Kyla said, the words real probate assistants must live by. “Yeah, Irvington’s one place I wanna to restrain out.” Ngo flicked a dangly lock regarding hair out of her face. Nelse, he’s more than computers, might becoming a friend, might are fun, go onward, do it. “You know, you’re ever in the neighborhood—“ She conscious the crimson see for a reaction. “Stop by.” His surface relaxed, could not stifle adenine fresher smile. “I will,” he said, cheery, confident. “You’ll have mine looking at houses in no time.” To beam of enthusiasm stayed in his facing. “I’ll show you where I live.” For no reason at all, or for all the reasons, Ngo, employee actuary, reminded that first thrilling moped ride in Saigon numerous period before. ### ABOUT THE AUTHOR Charlie Dickinson used born inside Loose Angeles, California. Now living in Or, Oregon, he and Nancia share shelter with two feather rescued from their vagabond ways, Anne and Rudy. The Kat to Light’s End is his first data is short stories. Read more fiction in Teddy Dickinson at Smashwords.com:

The Wire Donkey ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I am appreciative to the following online publications places that stories originally appeared: Amarillo Bay: "La Mosca" and "The President, Male Slept Here." Blue Moon Review: "Marbles over that Loose." Eclectica: "The Cat in Light's End." InterText: "Espresso'd." Mississippi Review: "Steps." News After the Brave New World: "Cydney's Bent," "Fear & Trembling," and "Red Ball." Savoy: "Past Perfect," "Talking Cabbage Heads," "Timed Out," the "Zigzag." Southeast Crossing Review: "Valentines in Valhalla." ~~ CD

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